Do I really have too much on my plate

[WelIdontknow]

I have been feeling burn out recently and spoke to my GP, to which she said I have got too much on my plate.
I have been managing okay till now but now it's feels like it's getting but much. I am happily married to DH for 7 years with 2 yo DC and currently pregnant, he does his share of house work mainly focussed on DIY and drop offs, I do the cooking and we have robovac for cleaning. We both work full time, he works 5 days, I work 4 days and studying for masters. We both have to travel to work few times a week, DH does most pick and drop for DC. I cook packed lunch for DC as nursery doesn't provides lunch which we knew from the beginning but chose the nursery due to being the closest to our house.
We have no family to support us with childcare so from day one it's just been the two of us looking after DC. DC is becoming more challenging now as a toddler and every morning feels like a struggle to get him ready for nursery, cook something like pasta or soups and pack his lunch and get him out of the door for drop off and get myself ready to catch the bus for work. I have felt very exhausted in this pregnancy and DH does helps with getting DC ready for nursery but every morning we end up arguing because of the difference in our parenting styles. I feel so mentally exhausted as the first thing in the morning after all this is done even before my work starts. I feel like now I am barely coping.
I am worried about when I have a newborn and a toddler to look after as we are looking to reduce the nursery days for DC when I am on maternity leave.
Looking for some suggestions from other parents here on how to manage with young DC and working full time.

Cooking in the morning is just unnecessary. Make lunches (both of you) the night before.

I’d do as your GP advised and take a few weeks off. Your employer won’t remember when you go back after maternity leave and I don’t think you need the stress of the critical boss right now.
agree stop doing cooked lunches if you can, hire a cleaner (?) and defer your masters.

it’s a very hard time but temporary. You can be an excellent student and employee when you are not pregnant. Cut yourself a break now if you can💐

I guess she's the GP and would know but this seems a little dramatic? Why would you fall sick necessarily?

I wonder if she is talking about emotional stress as you have a bad boss and your DH is picking fights with you in the morning.
If he's there why can't he sort DS completely while you heat up the lunch for the flask?
Is he doing enough?
What different parenting styles? Is he more severe on your DS?
Do you have enough study time set aside for the masters? When I was doing mine I had absolute bare minimum childcare - enough to go to class, but all my work had to be done while looking after a 2 year old. It was super stressful.

Get signed off sick for a bit to rest
Hire a cleaner
Put DC in childcare more hours
Get DH to make cold packed lunches the night before
Defer your masters

You're 20 weeks pregnant!! You're bound to be finding things a bit harder. It does sound like a lot on your plate.

Can you defer your Masters or reduce some hours at work?

DO NOT COOK IN THE MORNING as other PP's have said! Do a massive batch cook one evening in the week e.g. tuna pasta bake, sausage and mash casserole, etc - they can all be portioned and frozen for the week. Get a slow cooker if you like - pop food in overnight and it'll be ready in the morning :)

I did my masters with a toddler and working 5 days a week (I wasn't pregnant though). I joined the local uni's library via sconul. I then segmented life. If I was in the library I focused on my masters and just left my husband to do look after my son. I found that going every Saturday morning or afternoon helped me carve out the time I needed. He was supportive of this and they had lots of Daddy/son time. I made the most of the other day of the weekend to have some family time.

I also have a different parenting style to my husband. When he is parenting I just let him get on with it and get out of his way and he does the same. We alternate mornings getting our son ready as it stops the clashes. Neither of us is a better parent than the other - just different!

To be honest it sounds like you do have too much on but if it's something you are passionate about then as it's only short term pain and I found it very worth. I got really stressed until I decreased my own expectation of myself and it became easier. Did my son need a different homecooked made with love packed lunches everyday? Nope - so I made a simple faster system throwing some babybels, crackers and other things he loved in the box (and he ate more). Did I need to go to every birthday party, get together, family bbq? Nope - they will understand for the year or two. Do i need to go above and beyond at work? Nope- i can focus on my career next year Etc etc.

Stop thinking you need to do everything. Keep the important stuff and trim the stuff that causes more stress than it's worth and take the pressure off!

Is it a requirement from nursery that you provide a full cooked lunch, or could you send sandwiches/snacky bits for lunch and just eat dinner together in the evening? With the masters it does sound like a lot - it can’t be easy to get time to focus on that properly.

You have too much on your plate given the circumstances. It doesn’t matter that other people might be able to cope with what you have, or that other people may be at capacity with less on than what you have. Right now, you have too much on your plate, so something has to change, if not multiple things.

I look back at stages in my life now and wonder how I didn’t completely fall apart.

Remember that sometimes, and for an extended period of time, it is ok to do a reasonable job and not an excellent job of things.

I didn't actually answer your OP before, I'd say you have a bit too much on your plate at the moment. When you have it from every angle and there's no respite, it's really tough. My brother was in the same position as you, but has stopped/deferred his PhD as it was causing major burnout. I hope you can work it out, good luck!