Fussy eater

[P0mbears]

My 4 year old has always been a pretty picky eater but I feel that there are more and more foods that he is totally rejecting.

I've listed below the foods that he will eat most of the time, but he is very picky with sauces, foods touching or if he sees a bit of herbs/pepper or anything on his food.

I always put a variety of foods on his plate including a safe food that he will eat and we eat at the same time as him as much as possible, but there doesn't seem to be any improvement. Any ideas of how to overcome this, or is this relatively normal and once at school he'll improve??

His fruit and veg intake is almost non existent now. I used to whizz up green veg into pasta sauces but he now refuses that.

Bread including bagels, wraps, crumpets etc.
Cereal with milk
Strawberries
Tinned peaches
Ham
Cheese
Halloumi
Chicken
Sausages
Meatballs
Fish fingers
Plain pasta
Plain rice
Natural yoghurt
Eggs
Chips
Biscuits, crisps etc

I had a child like this. They do grow more adventurous with age and it does improve. I ised to put a little amount of something new in a small bowl or egg cup on his plate each day - usually whatever we were having and just not pass comment. Sometimes he would try it and sometimes not. Don’t pressure him as they just dig their heels in and become averse to trying anything new. Overall your childs diet is not awful. Maybe just add a multi vitamin of you are concerned. If he likes yogurt and strawberries would he drink smoothies?

Dd was exactly like this at the same age, almost the exact diet! I used to give her loads of multi vits, and smoothies (when she’d drink them) with veg powder whizzed in.

Shes 7 now and still reasonably fussy, but she’s more open to trying new things and has a decent-ish diet now.

I tried everything, but it really was a case of waiting it out. I didn’t want to create a drama around food, so I always put ‘safe’ foods on her plate with a new food that I never commented on if she tried it. And didn’t make a fuss if she didn’t.

That seems quite good. My husband has always been picky and would only eat certain foods when he was young. His mum tried, rewards, bribery, punishments, not letting him have anything but what was on his plate. She was told ‘don’t pander he’ll eat if he gets hungry enough’ after 5 days she took him to the dr as he hadn’t eaten a thing. The dr said ‘what will he eat, give him that and save your sanity’. He’s still picky and I’ve seen him go a few days without food as there was nothing he liked when we were abroad.

Have you heard of arfid? He's not there yet but be aware if more foods drop off. Does he eat ketchup? Can you get children's vitamins into him?
Stop thinking about food types and think about food groups - it's a sanity saver, so protein, fats, carbs etc etc etc. Because of the arfid we were taught to think on a 2 week rolling basis rather than meal by meal or day by day. (It was a hell of a shock/transition when DD came along and would eat all the right food groups in 1 meal!)
He might grow out of it just keep exposing him to things. But don't make yourself miserable with comparison.

I have two children with food aversion and one who’s a ‘picky’ eater (he’ll eat a bigger variation but will pick at it). My youngest will not eat anything that isn’t pizza for dinner (under paediatrician who didn’t seem that bothered 🙄). Two have a diagnosis of autism and the third is beginning the assessment pathway, so in their case it’s sensory/texture aversion. All I can do is offer and try, praise when they do try something outside of their comfort zone and not make any fuss about not eating untypical foods. And dread summer where the only thing they’ll all eat is ice lollies….

I think you're doing all the right things offering safe food and other options, not making a big deal of it. You could also look up food chaining which is about how to try to expand their range of foods by building on textures and tastes they already eat. I have an autistic ARFID DC who doesn't eat anywhere near the variety your child has and when we had nutritional bloods done and saw the dietician they said that he was managing to get all the nutrients needed and just to focus on getting in calories and work on the food chaining. We also try to cycle foods a little to stop further rejections, e.g. we try not to offer the same safe food two days in a row but swop between them - not always easy with our limited options. My other DC is fussy (probably copying eldest a little) but it is totally different - youngest will try things, doesn't seem anxious or stressed about eating and it isn't a sensory thing for him and I am confident he will grow out of it. Good luck!

Arfid often gets thrown out there. Clinical arfid is when a person eats less than 10 foods including variations of that food for more than 3years. My daughter has arfid, she eats 4 foods mccain french fries, warburtons blue bread, lurpak butter and chip shop chips. She ate normally until aged 16 months by the time she was 3 it was just these foods. She will only drink squash no milk. She's now 8 and has a stomach peg to be fed nutrients and calories as aged 7 she caught a simple cold virus that nearly killed her. (Adenovirus).

Your child seems to eat quite a good range of foods. Problems to watch out for would be foods dropping off when poorly and then not coming back. Your child becoming poorly more often than others seem to, slow growth, unhealthy nails and hair or becoming more worn out and tired than other children the same age. In the early days we were prescribed the orange abidec drops for vitamins, before having to move on to much stronger prescription only (seravit) which includes pretty much every vitamin and mineral you can get.

Thank you so much for the helpful replies. I'll reply properly later, but there is some useful information here so thanks very much ☺️

The main thing, and it is hard, is not to pass comment, not to cajole etc. Ds1 ate everything, Ds2 was more picky but he had severe reflux and an very easy gag reflex so his diet was limited. He definitely has issues with textures. I made home made ice lollies from smoothies and yoghurt. I also blized spinach leaves into them. Smoothies are a good way to try get fruit and veg into them. Mine had chewable multivits that taste like sweets.

His favourite meal was a plain tortilla wrap and a glass of water as he didn't like cordial. He is now 18 and his favourite meal is baked salmon or a chicken sandwich with Peri mayo. Peer influence from school will help but might not solve everything. I mainly tried new foods at lunch and then fed him things I knew he liked at dinner so he wasn't going to bed hungry.

I used to put a teaspoon of chilli (not any spice to it) and a teaspoon of rice not touching in a bowl, he could eat that for texture and flavour and then I would remove that bowl and give him the bloody plain wrap, some cheese on the side and yoghurt. He didn't drink milk until he started nursery where peer influenced helped. He was originally on prescription formula for the reflux so transitioning to cows/goat/sheep/oat anything just didn't happen. I tried.

I agree that Arfid is misused when children have a limited diet. I wrote down foods under the food groups and he was doing okay but just far less than his brother. Just keep at it, no fussing and keep cycling those foods back round because at some point he may just eat them. My parents made a huge deal over food, I just didn't like what they liked. It made me stressed, underweight and meal times were an anxiety inducing nightmare. I was not going to repeat that with my own child.

He has had smoothies in the past, but I haven't tried him on one for a long time, so that's a good idea, thank you

I hadn't heard of Arfid but thank you for drawing it to my attention. If I look at the major food groups he is getting protein, carbs and dairy most days and he does take a multivitamin so I suppose he's probably not lacking too much?

He doesn't eat ketchup or any kind of dip/sauce apart from gravy occasionally. Sometimes I'll make curry and rice and put a dollop of yoghurt on the side but he won't eat it, but then he'd eat that same yoghurt (just plain greek yogurt) as a pudding

Thank you, you've reassured me that he might just improve naturally. I try to not make a big thing of it but my husband sometimes goes for the bribing technique which I don't agree with.

I get you with the wraps, my son would love off wraps for lunch and dinner if he had the choice and he only drinks water other than drinking the leftover cereal milk.

My younger son eats 95% of the foods we offer him, so I hope that it's not our parenting that has caused any issues with our older son

Sorry to hear that your daughter has Arfid. That definitely sounds very different and I hope she is getting stronger and healthier.

My son touch wood isn't ill very much, he's growing normally and seems healthy so I suppose I just need to relax and keep offering a variety of foods along with safe foods and not make a big deal of it

Thank you very much, I will look at rotating the safe foods. My other son is a great eater so often DS1 will just move the things to DS2's plate that he doesn't want. Eg if I've given them sandwiches along with fruit/veggies and picky bits for lunch he will move everything to his brother's plate other than the bread

I was a very choosy eater as a child right up until my my early teens when we started having cooking lessons at school and I began to try what I cooked and gradually became more adventurous. Up until then I ate very plainly, didn't like things touching on the plate and my fave meal was plain pasta with a little salt. I also didn't drink milk or cordial so I'd have water, even at birthday parties I would only drink water and eat an egg sandwich nothing else, not even cake, I hated cake, but I love it now😊 I eat all sorts and love trying new things .
When my daughter was little all she ever wanted for what seemed like the longest time was a cheese spread sandwich and some ribena, she grew out of it, I hope you DS does as well OP ,

You can make fruit lollies! Make natural fruit smoothie with a blender dnd pour it into ice lolly moulds and freeze

Try not to bribe him. He will eat what he wants, when he wants. Stop commenting on it, just put the plate/bowl down and have a conversation, talk to him or your Dh about whatever, distraction is good so not all focus is on watching him and watching what he is putting into his mouth. For us any pudding was just given, no conditions set on it. Usually fruit or yoghurt but also cake, syrup sponge with custard etc. They will give them dessert every flipping day with their school lunch so although "healthier" than maybe a shop bought one, it is still cake/sponge pudding, chocolate mousse. My friend works in a school kitchen.

Ds hasn't grown out of the white wrap love but does eat seeded granary bread so we try to balance that out.

I have a child who has severe sensory issues around food and is under a paediatric dietician.

Just one thing I recommend if yours will have it - i make icecream milkshakes using complan powder. Just to try and cover the bases. Mine is desperately thin- aged 14 and only 5 stone so I have to focus on calories as well but I make the milkshakes using full fat milk, vanilla or chocolate ice cream, complan, added chocolate powder, a tablespoon of ground almonds, a dash of vanilla and have recently been able to also add cinnamon and strawberries without it being rejected. Mine goes 'off' food as well so I might get a milkshake into him for 3-4 days then nothing for a couple of weeks but it puts my mind at ease knowing he's getting some nutrients.

Try not to worry. It's very common at that age.
My DD was exactly the same, in fact she'd eat fewer foods than your DD. Over the years she gradually started to eat a wider variety. Now she's 13 and will try anything. She has a varied diet and eats healthily. In recent years she's actually been asking that I give her more variety because she gets bored of having the beige foods I thought she wanted. I'd say age now eats almost everything with just a couple of exceptions. She's about 5 ft 7 very athletic and sporty.

I was (technically still am) a fussy eater, the range your DS has seems quite good to me. If you can find him a safe veg, that would be a boon, I think. but otherwise that's quite a good starting point and he likely will broaden his range in time - I did, although I do still have some "rules" about food.

The way you've described putting new foods out for him to try with no pressure and no tricks also sounds good to me. That makes such a difference to mindset ime. Just keep trying and some of the foods will go in eventually- more over time! My mum says the most frustrating bit about trying to feed me was the advice to slather ketchup over veg or other "suspicious" foods so kids would eat it; unless it was on a hotdog, I wouldn't (and still don't) eat ketchup.

Not sure if the above is helpful OP but from a fussy eaters perspective you sound great in supporting him and time will hopefully broaden his range!

To be honest, I think it could be worse. He's eating carbohydrates, proteins, dairy and fats. Ideally he'd be eating more fruit or veg - I think for now offer the two options he does like every day, that way he's had the opportunity to have some nutrition from fruit. I'm sure you have, but as soon as summer fruits come down in price, it might be worth trying him on other berries, grapes, melon etc, saying their sweet like peaches, strawberries. Have you tried him on homemade chips, potato wedges or slices pan fried? If so, they will probably be healthier than bought chips.

My DD was very good with veggies but literally lived on fishfingers/nuggets, the add bit of chicken or salmon for years. She hated lumps (so no yogurts, mince etc), sauces. However,had very few bugs compared to her friends and now eats literally everything on offer other than meat and limits processed foods.