Would you give up your career?

[ShowMeTheSun]

I'm unhappily married. I daydream about leaving all the time. Unfortunately I have become the main breadwinner by some way and work in a big city with long hours. H has taken his foot off the gas and even though he's in his 40s he talks about early retirement/looking after kids full time. If I push him to work he says his anxiety won't let him do more.

I'm so worried about me becoming the EOW parent.

Is it unreasonable/stupid to take a career break or go freelance or something? I got offered a promotion recently but considering turning it down. Am I worrying unnecessarily? I cannot become the non resident parent. I would never forgive myself.

If he's still working full time, you should probably split sooner rather than later. If you are both in your forties, he will be expected to support himself, but this would be harder if he stops work before the split and there would probably be some transitional support needed from you post split.

There's also enough time to build pensions & savings back up. You would need to sort childcare out to enable 50:50, but if you earn good money, that should be affordable for you.

Don't sacrifice your career, it will bugger things up. I would advise you find yourself a good solicitor and get some initial advice to enable you to make a plan on how to proceed.