Abusive ex set up a charity

[cantgetmybreath]

I've name changed for obvious reasons. Was in a relationship a few years ago with someone who was abusive I won't go into details because I honestly think it would be outing and I don't want to distress anyone .
Just scrolling through my social media he has been blocked for years. And someone I know from my old home town has shared his latest venture (he's had a few) this one is a charity helping people with ptsd. It's a photo of him 🤢 and it just set me off heart racing feeling sick etc. I've blocked the page but I don't even know what to think.
.I have been in therapy and on medication for years after what he did to me. I'm a lot better than I was but it never goes away. I have flashbacks and nightmares. Panic attacks general anxiety.
I just don't know what to think. I don't want it to set me back but I don't know what to think I mean obviously the answer should be nothing but would other people be freaked out by this ?

YANBU. He’s pretending to be a great person doing charity work while you know what he’s really like. It’s only natural that would upset you a bit. Maybe you’re also worried that he might hurt others who fall for this act, though it isn’t your responsibility to be worried about that, it makes sense if you are. I don’t really have any advice. There’s nothing you can really do apart from ignore it, but it’s absolutely understandable for you to be freaked out by it.

To be honest, I've heard this a few times that abusive men set themselves up as a saviour and a charity is a great way to hide who they really are. I think it was a men's mental health charity I read the other day and it was being run by someone who has beaten women and abused them for years.

I have no advice on how to deal with this specific issue but having been abused for years just block, breathe and know you did nothing wrong. Unfortunately I have to still deal with my abuser due to children and the best thing I can do is ignore him and his lies, I know the truth, my friends and family know the truth, I don't need anyone else to know.

If it is safeguarding you are worried about you can report him to the charity commission perhaps? Not sure? Did he have a police report against him?

Were the police involved? You can report your concerns to the charity commission if you feel able to.

No the police weren't involved because unfortunately he was one of them and at the time I wasn't strong enough.
In fact it's taken years for me to realise with the help of a therapist that it was emotional abuse it was never physical and only on a couple of occasions sexual. I blamed myself a lot because of things that were happening to me separately at the time bereavement etc.
I think just you replying has helped me already you know I am stronger now and I know that it was just a shock. I'm not worried in a safe guarding way due to who it is aimed at.

I wouldn't report as he would 100% know it was me and it would be like he still had a hold which I honestly didn't think he did until I saw that photo tonight. If it was the people I know he likes to pray on who were the charity users I do think I would report it I would have to

@MotherofChaosandDestruction I am so sorry that you have to still deal with him. I'm sure your children are massive blessings to you but I do thank my lucky stars that I don't have that link you are so brave 🥰

I'd be annoyed but I would move on and not check his SM again, you didn't report it so will look malicious. Best to just move on as annoying as it is.

@Desperatelyneedabreak I do agree however I didn't check it I have him blocked on everything I even have his family and friends blocked. It's a business post that was shared by a friend of mine that doesn't even know him I suppose she just saw it and thought it was nice.

All 'good' professions attract a % of people who are there to either access the vulnerable, feed their narcissism, or shore up their self-loathing.

The move from copper to charity boss - it's really linear, isn't it? Screams 'oooh I'm a great person'. It is HARD when you are the only one who knows the truth.

Unfortunately though, if it's not giving him access to more victims there's not much you can do about it. I'm so sorry and not surprised it's shaken you up.

@HelloMyNameIsElderSmurf Yes he did always want to be seen as a good person you are right. Even the breakup was initiated by him because I was unstable etc. In reality he had someone else and I was surplus to requirements but he made sure the official line was my mental health.

Thank you all though. I already feel less anxious and in the early days the anxiety would last for days so I know deep down I am much better it was just a shock really

And that is totally understandable OP, the anxiety from just seeing or hearing from them knocks you but as long as you keep getting up the impact lessens but by bit! You're doing so well and the fact you got away and are doing okay is a testament to your bravery!