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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ex refusing to have DS overnight

34 replies

Pinacoladaqueen · 23/04/2024 18:59

ex has moved in with his brother following our separation. We have 3 kids he has agreed to have the oldest two overnight but not the youngest as there isn’t enough space.

Apologies if this sound selfish but I will never have a night off or a break until he gets a council property but that could take months/ years.

Am I just supposed to accept this for what it is?

I have made suggestions of setting the living room up for the oldest on a Saturday night (blow up bed) and youngest could sleep in his bed.

AIBU?

OP posts:
LutonBeds · 23/04/2024 20:39

What was the housing situation when you were together? If you owned, I assume you bought him out. If private rent it will be more difficult for him as he won’t get any housing benefit/UC as a single man and will be expected to live in shared accommodation.

Beautiful3 · 23/04/2024 21:57

They won't list him as a priority because the resident parent claims the child benefit. They don't have to give him more than an1 bedroomed flat.

Blondeshavemorefun · 23/04/2024 22:03

If you claim the cb he can't put them down on his housing

What age are they

I still don't get why 2 can't share a bed if not all 3 in a double /king or one on blow up bed and ex on sofa

theclimb · 23/04/2024 22:13

I don't agree in bed sharing with parents if the child has no choice in the matter - there should be no expectation that any child will share there parents bed or even siblings just to suit the decisions of others

snakewillow · 23/04/2024 23:00

He will only ever be entitled to a 1 bed unless he becomes the resident parent. If he can't make it work now then it's unlikely he ever will. I suspect he won't though and there is no way of forcing him.

Quitelikeacatslife · 23/04/2024 23:09

At the very least he needs to rotate which kids he has, then you'll still be parenting but will not be all toddler all the time , nice for you to have one on one with other kids too.

Dareisayiseethesunshine · 23/04/2024 23:29

Call his bluff and have 3 dc ready for collection complete with a 30 quid ready bed..

boombang · 23/04/2024 23:42

I think you accept that you are not going to get a night "off"

dragonscannotswim · 23/04/2024 23:59

Desperatelyneedabreak · 23/04/2024 19:33

Is a single man even going to get a council house? My ex has never had our children overnight not once and it's been 7 YEARS no unfortunately you can't force this, he has a 3 bed house but decided he would rather rent out all the rooms than have his kids sleep over so I haven't had a night off in 7 years. No there is no way to force it.

What a bellend!!

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