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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much time do you spend on hobbies?

27 replies

Hobbydonkey · 23/04/2024 18:00

Especially if you work full time and have young children.

How much time do you have/ allow yourself for hobbies?

I do a bit of sport/exercise, maybe 3 or 4 hours a week.

I'd like to do a part- time university course as well for about 6 or 8 hours a week, some during my lunch break or after the children are in bed, but some would have to be when they are up.

Is this too much? How much hobby time do you think is fair, and how much do you have?

OP posts:
shortfatfatty · 23/04/2024 18:16

None. I have zero free time between work and kids, house etc.
Husband on the other hand seems to have more than 6 hours a day/night to play fifa then more to watch sports, tiktok etc while he wfh.

LayllasBees · 23/04/2024 18:23

None. Work full time, primary aged kids, pets, no childcare or cleaner or family support. Weekdays is dedicated to work, dealing with homework, cooking, caring for pets. Weekends is chores and DIY, more homework and caring responsibilities. I don’t really have any fun at all, bar going out with friends once every 1-2 months at most.

Crushed23 · 23/04/2024 18:25

7 hours a week on exercise classes, about 12 hours if you include travelling to/from various studios.

Edit: just clarifying no kids

Original poster
Hobbydonkey · 23/04/2024 19:06

Goodness this is awful. Surely we should be able to carve out a little time for our own benefit? That said, some of my exercise is videos in front of the telly with the children dancing along with me, but it's better than nothing!

OP posts:
pictoosh · 23/04/2024 19:08

Everyone is different.
There's no average amount you should emulate to fit in with your peers.
Make up your own mind.

FeistyFrankie · 23/04/2024 19:10

I do about 8-10 hours of exercise per week, a mix of dance classes and gym visits.

I’m also child free.

Cornflakes44 · 23/04/2024 19:14

I have to battle to go to one gym class a week. I find this aspect of parenting the worst tbh. The fact that all the things that used to make me feel like me I can't do. I'm just a serf to work and the kids. Or at least that what it feels like most of the time.

Maneandfeathers · 23/04/2024 19:33

I used to have horses which took up at least 2 hours a day! DH was very resentful.

Gave that up and now I’m lucky to get 20mins to myself 🙁

VeryBusyDoingNothing · 23/04/2024 19:35

None. 3 kids aged between 18mths - 6y. Other than collapsing to watch TV for an hour of an evening I do nothing that is not work / kids / family admin /lifts to clubs. Been that way since baby #2 was born.

Would love some time back but can't see it for another couple of years tbh

Beezknees · 23/04/2024 19:38

Plenty but I have a 16 year old so all I am required to do is feed him and give him pocket money, certainly not hang out with him. (According to him 🤣)

When he was younger I had zero time, due to being a lone parent.

Justmemyselfandi999 · 23/04/2024 19:40

About 4-5 hours a day, horses and dogs!

sheenaisapunkrocker · 23/04/2024 19:41

When I was with DH, we took it in turns to have an evening to do a hobby. We're divorced now and when DS was too young to leave it was much harder to get out. DS is 14 now and I can leave him to swim 2 or 3 times a week - this is a mixture of days, eves and weekends around work. I'm a nicer person when I get time to do the thing I enjoy, and I think it's important to role model health amd self care where I can!

Hmmmbetterchangethis · 23/04/2024 19:45

I work part time and no kids. I do an exercise class 5 days a week, 2 hours of racket sport 2 times a week, team sport an hour a week. Training classes/dog sport with my dog 3 hours a week.
Reading, puzzles, swimming few hours a week.
I’ve chosen not to have kids as I enjoy all this!!

Hmmmbetterchangethis · 23/04/2024 19:45

Also learning another language at the moment……..

TheChosenTwo · 23/04/2024 19:47

Probably around 20 hours?
Maybe more than that?
My dc are a older now though and my gosh it’s so freeing in so many ways.
There were definitely years where I had to specifically set aside ‘me time’ where dh would take over and vice versa.

Strawberrycheesecake7 · 23/04/2024 19:50

None. I’m a SAHM to a 10 month old. Other than reading a book sometimes while breastfeeding, I do absolutely nothing for myself ever. Hoping this will eventually change as he gets older.

PiggieWig · 23/04/2024 19:51

It varies really, depending on how tired I am and how much the kids (teens) need me. On a good week I go to the gym for an hour before work each weekday, a class at weekend, then a meet up for a walk or swim one night a week and maybe a pub/meal/gig one night on a weekend.
I usually end up skipping a few of those though, just being tired. I work full time and don’t have a cleaner - the kids kind of pitch in, but in the way teenagers do.
Oh, I do an online class a couple of evenings a week too but it’s not the kind of thing that has lots of homework or commitment - more personal development kind of thing.
I don’t have a partner so loving myself properly is quite important 😃

Maryamlouise · 23/04/2024 19:58

DC are started primary age and I exercise about 6-7 hrs/week plus there is sometimes travel time if like today I drive to meet a friend for a run or if doing parkrun or a race on a weekend. WFH mainly in very flexible role so can usually fit in exercise in school hours. Do crafts sometimes in the evening but feel like I don't have much time to socialise and see friends.

Garlicked · 23/04/2024 20:00

Are we counting Mumsnetting? In that case, far too much!

WalkingonWheels · 23/04/2024 20:01

I work full time and have kids, dogs, a husband and a home. Oh and I'm disabled. We are both very much hobby people and ensure we have plenty of time to do what interests us.

I play D&D two nights a week with friends, then computer games another night with a different group of friends. About 12 hours in total.

The other evenings I do my craft hobbies. Probably 4 hours an evening. When the kids are at their hobbies on the weekend, I'll continue to do mine. 12 hours ish maybe. I also make sure I read for half an hour before bed, so another 3.5 hours a week.

43.5 hours a week in total.

NewName24 · 23/04/2024 20:05

pictoosh · 23/04/2024 19:08

Everyone is different.
There's no average amount you should emulate to fit in with your peers.
Make up your own mind.

This.

When our dc were little, we felt it was incredibly important to both have time to do things where we weren't just parenting or working.
How much that is is going to depend on just so many things - working hours / commute / family support / if you wfh or WOTH / same for what your partner does / how motivated you are / if either of you is also studying alongside working / your financial situation.
But also things like what you were doing before you had dc. Some people never do much outside of work and home, whatever their age and whether they have dc or not. Other people are out and about every night.
Then some hobbies (knitting, gardening, reading, etc) can be done at home......others (jogging / cycling) can be done at any time of day and from your front door....others (say watching a favourite sports team) might involve travel, and certainly can only be at times that aren't of your choosing.
Then you might do something that the dc can do too - which isn't 'child free' but can still be a hobby.

supercalafragilisticexpealidocious · 23/04/2024 20:06

Actually zero hours at the moment. When I wasn't pregnant I used to have a part loan of a pony which probably allowed me 4-5 hours a week to myself but some of those were during the day when I was wfh so didn't have an impact on children or DH.

My DH is training to do a bike ride so he's probably doing 6 hours a week or so. But again that's generally when children out the house or in bed.

I think what you've described is quite a lot tbh.

Original poster
Hobbydonkey · 23/04/2024 20:07

Hugs to those who don't get any free time at all, especially with very young children. I hope you start getting some breaks soon.

Some really positive stories here, and definitely helping me to realise it's not selfish to take time for myself. Thanks very much everyone!

OP posts:
Cadela · 23/04/2024 20:08

Lone parent. My hobby is bread so it fits in well with Dd, she’s quite the dab hand at shaping sourdough now!

I go swimming twice a week, but that’s with Dd. I play violin, but that’s a couple of hours max atm.

lemontart13 · 23/04/2024 20:12

Hobbydonkey · 23/04/2024 18:00

Especially if you work full time and have young children.

How much time do you have/ allow yourself for hobbies?

I do a bit of sport/exercise, maybe 3 or 4 hours a week.

I'd like to do a part- time university course as well for about 6 or 8 hours a week, some during my lunch break or after the children are in bed, but some would have to be when they are up.

Is this too much? How much hobby time do you think is fair, and how much do you have?

I think it's a great idea to do what you like but that can become overwhelming, so be careful. I, especially, don't have time for my hobbies but at least i'm trying to do what is good.