Video chat?

[Mattime]

Inspired by something said on another thread, really

Aibu to think video chatting from bed to someone who isn't your dp or husband/wife, is inappropriate? Or am I just out of touch?

You're right. I also see the bed vs bedroom as very different

Did she know you were there during the call?

I wasn't. He didn't know I saw either. He was in one room and I walked past an open door and caught a glimpse

All of my DD's (26-38) would do this. Two would with the opposite sex. It seems the norm in their friendship groups. I consider it inappropriate, so wouldn't do it. My sister (68) does, but wearing at least nightwear.

Perhaps it's a generational thing then - boundaries regarding privacy and acceptability have been pushed back tremendously.
Personally I would assume your partner and his friend must have a close friendship if this is normal behaviour for them. How you feel about this is up to you.

How do they know each other?

What are your ages?

How often does he message her or her him?

Did you ask him why she facetime while naked in bed?

He met her at work a few years ago, but only worked together a couple of months before she left, we're all in our mid to late 30s. No idea, she's definitely one of the closest people to him as he doesn't have many friends and no as like I say, he didn't know I saw

They seem quite relaxed with each other and like they connected they only worked together a few months and she is happy for him to see her in bed.

I guess if he is still attentive to you and just as loving, and isn't investing more relationship time into her, then do you have anything to be worried about.

I would go along a few times when they meet up, see what's she's like personally

I've often spoken to friends or family from bed. I don't think I would for work.

I think if you've no other cause for concern (over the years) then i suppose there's no issue.

I'd be a bit .... 🤔though.

If it was me and i wanted to say something i'd say ''Noticed z was in her bed when you chatted earlier!'' ... and see what he said.

Of course if he just says ''yeah ....'' in a distracted manner as if he didn't even notice you'll be no better off?

I know on other threads posters have put forward the view that long term opposite sex friendships started before a couple get together aren't generally a problem. However a new female friend made more recently, after a relationship began, has more potential to be problematic. Unless of course effort is made to reassure the partner by including them in the new friendship.
What you describe i.e. your partner only working with the woman for a couple of months and then she has become a very close friend would worry me more. I assume they met after your relationship began? The fact they now think it's normal to talk while she is naked in bed is more concerning given your update.

They did meet after we did and after dc. He's not reassured me because I've not really needed it before. He mentioned her quite a bit when they worked together and I insisted on meeting her and after that it's been OK... Until seeing that

I wouldn't do this with my male friends, no. And I wouldn't be happy with a partner doing this.

I get what you mean. Honestly, video chatting has gotten pretty casual these days — apps like lemonchat.app make it super easy to connect with random people. Kinda wild how normal it's become! 😄

She was sitting up in bed naked with shoulders exposed and the duvet covering her chest? I would not be comfortable with that. It’s too intimate and over-familiar.

Would they have done this had they known you were observing? I doubt it.

I would absolutely be mentioning it, @Mattime.