To consider moving schools over this

[AngryToast94]

TLDR: is poor communication and a lack of reward enough reason to move a settled and happy child to a new school, and also potentially lose close friendships I have made through school.

For context: 1 7yr old child very settled and happy in school, excelling academically, fantastic friendships. 1 4yr old child, indifferent towards school, doing well academically, no solid friendships yet.
(Also worth noting that through school I have made a fantastic group of mum friends who I spend a lot of time with with and without children and we're all very close, holiday together etc)

The concerns: 1) communication - the school don't communicate ANYTHING, they give out vague instructions extremely last minute. One child has 2 teachers, I have met one teacher once for 5 minutes in March and never seen or spoken to the other (we have to drop off and collect at the gate, which is quite a distance from the classroom doors so never get near it). They have dojo to message the teachers on, but they never answer messages. School even took my 7yr old on a trip but didn't inform parents, it was walking distance so they didn't feel the need to! They never post pictures on the apps or send out newsletters about what they're up to. I feel hugely distanced from what my children do for 30 hours a week due to all of this.

Concern 2 - reward - the school have 3 weekly rewards (star of the week, point champion and class mascot) my children have never had any of these rewards. Despite having really positive feedback at the 5 minute parents evening we had which included "he's a pleasure to have in my class, you must be so proud of him". Other children have had some of these rewards 3 times throughout the year. It seems really unfair and it triggers from my own childhood when I also never got rewards despite being well behaved and working hard, when my peers would misbehave all week and be good for one day then get these rewards over and over. (I am worried I'm allowing my own experience to shape my thoughts on this for my child) I think every child deserves at least one reward. And there's even enough weeks to ensure all children get each reward. Rather then a select few getting them over and over ☹️

YABU - you're overthinking it, your child is happy and these problems are not enough to move them and lose your own friendships too
YANBU - it's worth looking at other schools so your child is properly recognised for their hard work and you are more involved/ informed of their day to day learning.

Thank you!

The only thing I would be concerned about is the outing. For any reason if kids leave the school property you should be informed.
The awards thing is annoying but you can manage your kids expectations "it's not a reward system, it's used to motivate kids who aren't performing consistently that well". It sounds bizarre but not getting rewarded constantly, especially in some sort of rota system not based on merit, builds resilience in kids and teaches them how to deal with disappointment which will always be part of life. If you ensure you reward them or praise them for their hard work at home you then take back control of their motivation/ rewards.
Schools can be a bit disconnected from parents, doesn't mean they are bad schools, maybe they are focussing their efforts on teaching rather than admin of informing parents? As a kid did your parents get all the info about what was happening with you at school? Probably not, we've got used to being able to constantly access information and it's not necessarily a good thing. Your kids are happy and doing well, I would keep them there unless that changes.

I read this as I have "1" 7 year old and "1" 4 year old.

The positives are your children are doing well academically so the teaching is good. That should be your top priority along with safeguarding. Your eldest has a nice friendship group and the Mums are nice. As someone who has had children go all the way through school and I have volunteered in a primary these are really good things. So your knee jerk reaction to move schools is unreasonable and you never know what you might encounter at the next school.

Uploading photos and responding to messages takes time, there really is no time in the school day for a teacher to do this and after school hours are marking, planning and they may have other responsibilities too such as being over literacy or numeracy. In the school I was in the TAs were the ones who were able to take photos and upload them. It depends how many TAs they have and whether they are 1:1 for SEND children etc.

Taking them on walks in the local area is normal and they usually don't need your permission for this. It also stops parents/grandparents miraculously appearing mid route to wave to their child.

I would contact the school not on class dojo but email the school office and ask about communication. I would also mention the class reward system not seeming to be fair but to be honest it never is. Most teachers have a tick list so they can see who hasn't had it and then they look for something that week that they can reward them on. Some children really need this others don't really care.

You could also mention the not being introduced to your children's teacher too and how unsettling this is as a parent.

I'm not sure! It was her Philosophy A level class. Apparently she received a postcard so I might find out when I get home from work.

They introduced the system at the end of last year and asked sixth-formers if they would also like to have Star of the Week as well as the lower school. They were quite enthusiastic. They also do Student of the Term, Student of the Year, and eventually Student of the Course.

(Edited to say I've just remembered she had to do a presentation today so perhaps she did it particularly well).

I class my kids old Primary as a good school where they were happy and one at least did very well academically. Communication was last minute and they never got rewards ( I think those are not given to the reliable kids that just work hard ) . They were well taught , cared for and had good friendships . I think you maybe expecting too much to be honest

So, it appears I’ve read it as 17 & 14 years old. I think I’ve then skim read the rest of the post having made up my mind that the OP should lower her expectations of a high school. Apologies.

OP, I think I’d start by speaking to the school. Have you signed something at the beginning of the year giving permission for short walks during the school day?

This. Alll good reasons for moving.

If both you and your child have good friendships at the school and your child is happy and doing well in their class, its not worth ditching all of that for communications which you could raise with the school . Become a class rep for eg?
Moving schools is hard and settling in takes longer than you think, and if that is your only complaint about the school - I'd leave well alone.

Yes this is right sorry, reception and year 2 age

YABU

Thank you for all the responses so far. I actually think I'm being a bit unreasonable to as someone put earlier "rage quit" 🙈 I know you guys will understand though, we just want the best for our kids don't we and it's frustrating to think "why can't you give us enough notice for XYZ, why can't we meet the teachers more often" etc as well as frustrating reward systems that kids who just do as their told and don't make a fuss don't seem to get 🤦

BUT I know this is a lot of frustration and ranting. I agree we do have a very positive community around us, and those friends of mine are invaluable not just for me but as a village to help raise my kids.

So I'll stick to ranting and not actually moving 🙈

Thank you for listening!

You're really going to hate secondary...

In the scheme of things I think these are very minor concerns.

You could have a chat with the school re comms if you want to. And they should have told you about leaving the school site.

These things seem to be more about you than them. Chances are they will get one of the rewards by the end of the year. There is no guarantee the communication will be different elsewhere. Your child is happy so leave it alone

Newsletters are good but it's crazy we've reached a stage where we need to essentially be instagramming our classes so parents can see learning throughout the day. I meant to take photos in a science lesson today for the sole reason that I know someone will badger me for some for the newsletter soon but genuinely didn't have time because I was supporting children in the lesson. I've actually given feedback to my child's school that the number of photos on Seesaw is unnecessary and I'd rather the teachers had more time to spend on other work, indeed, with their own families.

I also don't check messages outside the working day. That doesn't leave much time given I'm teaching 9-3.30. If something is urgent it's better to contact the office. If it's non-urgent, I'll respond as soon as I can but it might be a couple of days.

If your children are happy than thats all that matters.

Dont make it about you you dont go to school the kids do.

I came across my 2 year old today on a local walk. Thought nothing of it as I know I signed a form when they started about it. My only concern was that he'd see me and want to come home (he didn't, he probably would have been upset to leave his friends).

The local area is a river and marina and they all wear life jackets for the walk... I still never would have thought that they needed to inform me. And I also wouldn't have known about it if I hadn't seen them. DS probably would have said they did nothing today!

Local trips don't need to asked for / told about. The government changed the rules because schools weren't taking the children out anymore because of the insane amount of paperwork.

I'd be wondering what a teacher was doing if she wad managing to take 300 photos and upload them all to an app, surely the time would be better spent teaching?

Children are settled, happy, have friends and doing well academically. Why would you move them.

I read the OP wrongly, but it looked a bit like 17 and 14. My mistake.

There is often a generic permission letter for local trips, so individual ones are sent for trips that involve payment.

Secondary schools often have postcards home. I sent quite a few.

Primary schools have a variety of reward systems, as well as verbal feedback. You’ve been told that your child is a pleasure to teach and that you should be proud of him. I’d certainly take that!

Aren’t newsletters generally on the school website?

Be happy your children are happy.

Your frustrations are understandable but it sounds like your DCs are thriving/happy at the school and ultimately it's more important for them to be happy with the school than it is for you, especially if they are doing well there academically! So I voted YABU... I think you should join the PTA and try to support the school/improve communications.