to be annoyed at DF for not wanting to help out at our sons 2nd birthday party next week?

[BexieID]

We were getting a few bits in the supermarket and I asked him if he was going to help out (as last year he buggered off out, but I did have my parents here to help!). He said something like he'll be out. I think he doesn't like the idea of being around a bunch of women and their kids. Any other dads do this or is it just my DF?

I'm sorry to be a drag, but I think he has issues. Is he OK about going out with you, just the 2 of you? But reluctant when you'll be diluted with other people?

Does he get moody/sulky if you're on the phone for a long time?

Did you move 400+ miles to live in his home town? Or was it a new town for both of you?

Please answer... I can't get this out of my head now.

We are ok going out places just the 2 (or 3 of us). He can be a bit funny when i'm visiting home and want him to come out with my friends, who he's met and been out with before).

Not noticed him moody/sulky when i'm on the phone. We live 4 miles from where he grew up and he used to work in this town. Maybe he is worried about being recognised by the other mums as he used to work in a shop? Probably not though.

I was thinking more that he was possessive, or that he has a problems with your parents. Will they be at the party? They seem to be a recurring theme in everything he doesn't want to attend... or am I totally off?

my dh would rather stick pins in his eyes than attend a kid's birthday party, or any other party for that matter. he did, however, clearly survive our wedding reception, so don't fret about that.

I'm a miserable old grump anyway, so personally can't see the point of a birthday party for 2 year olds. Won't they be too young for games etc? Waht do you do with a bunch of 2 year olds? SUrely the'll just play, fight cray and eat a bit. And all the mums will be there, in which case, I don't understand why df needs to be there too?

So I'd say, given I've had to suffer countless parties unaided (but for 5,6,7 year olds) no yanbu and it's a pain, but given the circs of a room full of screaming 2 year olds + mums, I can fully appreciate why he doesn't want to be there, so yes, yabu

No way would my dh be at something like that either. not in a million years.

In the Goosey household, it would just be a given that dh would help out. They are his children too. I would have arranged it and sent out the invites and before school, they would mostly have been children of my friends. However we had the parties because the dcs were nuts about the idea (although started at 3 not 2) do dh's responsibility too.

That said, dh will only talk to the ones he knows and last year, firmly opted to be in charge of food so he could avoid conversation. If your dp does not want to have to talk or interact with people at the party, can he not help do all the food and preparation in advance. Presumably as all the mothers will stay at that age, food is the main bit of work?

Good luck - I hate children's parties!

If he can get out of talking to his parents he will, although he does talk to his more than he would mine. He did stay with us for 2 weeks after I had Tom and seemed to get on fine then. When we visit my parents he just sits in the bedroom all day. When I used to visit him, I would talk to his parents and used to go out places with them if he was working.

I have no doubt he'll help with the food beforehand. Or take Tom out so I can get on and do it. There won't be much food anyway. Just a few sarnies, sausage rolls, some cakes, crisps, strawberries, pizza maybe... Luckily it is at 12, so I can do the food almost straight away. And when we've had 'playdates' the kids never eat much anyway.

I'd just like daddy to be there. I will ask his parents. Maybe it would be better if his mum was there then he and his dad can go off and do the weekly shopping. my parents won't be going. They were visiting last week.

"When we visit my parents he just sits in the bedroom all day"

This goes beyond the typical "blokes hate kids' parties" stuff, imo. Does he sit in the bedroom alone?

On his own, unless I go and sit in there with him. Every evening last week he went in the befroom and watched films on the laptop. He basically says your parents want to see you and Tom, not me. If there was a room he could escape to at his parents, he would do the same there.

We didn't meet in a coventional way. We met in a chatroom. When I came up to Scotland for the first time to meet in RL I never thought we would fall in love. But we hit it off and he came down to see me a few days after I went home (he had a friend that lived near me). He had never had a girlfriend and I had only had the one boyfriend.

I've always known that he can be a bit of a loner, but I never noticed as much until after I moved. My mum has always said something after he had visited and now when we/she stays. The plan had always been for me to move up as houses are cheaper here. I just fell pregnant in the wrong order. He is a great dad. I know most couples live together first before having kids, which would have been better in a way. But I have met people because I am a mum.