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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New man profile pic

21 replies

BridgedeckBardo · 23/04/2024 12:03

I've known this man a long time and we've finally started dating. He was with someone for around a year but broke it off, whether for me or not, I don't know. Anyway, he changes his SM profile pic from time to time, and has just changed it to a pic of him with his ex's dog, clearly taken on a day out they had together. AIBU to not like this? It gives me a pang of upset, and although I think I am being ridiculous, I can't help feeling a small amount of rage.

OP posts:
flyinghen · 23/04/2024 12:06

It's a dog?

Maybe he just really likes the look of himself in the photo and decided to use it.

I personally think rage is too much in this situation. You could ask him about it but it's literally a dog? Do you think he's going to run off with the dog? I don't understand?

MidnightPatrol · 23/04/2024 12:06

😂

Rickrolypoly · 23/04/2024 12:07

Fuck me, this is nuts

ComtesseDeSpair · 23/04/2024 12:07

What is it that you’re jealous of, exactly? That he liked his ex’s dog? That he might go back to his ex so he can see the dog? That you think he must be thinking about her because he’s thinking about a dog? It’s very irrational, whatever it is. I have the cats my ex and I had as my phone screensaver: they were great cats, it doesn’t mean I still fancy or want to bang my ex.

TheSnowyOwl · 23/04/2024 12:09

I think YABU. For all you know, he could have taken the dog out for a walk alone.

Pheasantsmate · 23/04/2024 12:18

If you’ve only just started dating i think you need to take it easy. He might be on some of the dating apps and like the picture and want it to match his social media. Pictures of men with dogs are the new men petting a tiger image. I often have male friends borrowing my dog for pictures for profiles 🤣

Whatineed · 23/04/2024 12:19

Perhaps his ex asked him for help dog sitting or dog walking, and he took a photo because he enjoyed the moment?

I always take photos when I walk my sons godfathers dog because she's so cute.

DrJoanAllenby · 23/04/2024 12:19

Jealous of a dog?

I've heard it all now! 😂

I'd be looking for dog hairs on his clothing and receipts for dog treats in his pockets.

Follow him in case he's secretly meeting the dog over the park.

😂

adviceaunt · 23/04/2024 12:20

i guess its better than the pose of the man with his fish? maybe he misses the dog, maybe they are still friends and he takes the dog out from time to time.

if you have only just started dating i think you. need to calm down a bit

Notts276 · 23/04/2024 12:21

Don't be ridiculous. He probably became very attached to the dog. I still love the cats I had together with my ex and that I had to leave behind when we broke up. It doesn't mean he has any feelings for his ex!!

WhiteLeopard · 23/04/2024 12:23

He just likes the picture OP.

WigglyVonWaggly · 23/04/2024 12:24

You’re being irrationally jealous. He obviously thinks it’s a good photo of him. Where it was taken is absolutely irrelevant if she’s not in the photo! In the nicest possible way, don’t be daft and get stressed about something so absolutely meaningless. And certainly don’t go seeking reassurance from him!

Pinkbonbon · 23/04/2024 12:25

There has to be more to this surely?

Has he been playing you off against her in some way? Eg: keeps talking about her/compares you to her etc...

What do you mean you don't know if he left her for you?

It's easy for people to jump to you being a bit nuts or something. But often these extreme feelings come from provocation. Which might even be too subtle for you to have picked up on.

It sounds like he's either manipulating you into feeling insecure or... he's not that into you, and you know it, and maybe he's even trying to drop hints, and that really hurts as you've liked him a long time.

Padfootnprongs · 23/04/2024 12:29

Pinkbonbon · 23/04/2024 12:25

There has to be more to this surely?

Has he been playing you off against her in some way? Eg: keeps talking about her/compares you to her etc...

What do you mean you don't know if he left her for you?

It's easy for people to jump to you being a bit nuts or something. But often these extreme feelings come from provocation. Which might even be too subtle for you to have picked up on.

It sounds like he's either manipulating you into feeling insecure or... he's not that into you, and you know it, and maybe he's even trying to drop hints, and that really hurts as you've liked him a long time.

orrr maybe it’s not his fault at all, and she is just overthinking.

Bobbotgegrinch · 23/04/2024 14:28

Absolutely ridiculous OP. It's not like he's picked a picture of his ex. It's him, and a dog.

He has a past, everyone you ever date is going to have one. You can't expect him to erase its existence just because he's going out with you.

Original poster
BridgedeckBardo · 23/04/2024 14:29

I'm happier to take it on the chin with the general consensus that I'm a mad jealous overthinker rather than the thought that there is something more to it! Apart from the comment from @Pinkbonbon which is the one filtering through to my overactive brain, of course.... 😫

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 23/04/2024 14:35

BridgedeckBardo · 23/04/2024 14:29

I'm happier to take it on the chin with the general consensus that I'm a mad jealous overthinker rather than the thought that there is something more to it! Apart from the comment from @Pinkbonbon which is the one filtering through to my overactive brain, of course.... 😫

Well it shouldn't be that difficult for you to sus out now you're examining things.

Does he make you feel secure in the relationship?

Have you been insecure, without good reason, in past relationships?

Has he been straight with you about why his last relationship ended? And WHEN it ended. You know, you can ask right?

Talk.with.him.

Rather than letting your mind work backflips.

He should want to answer any questions you have and reassure you. If he seems shirty or like he maybe likes you thinking his ex is still in with a chance with him...then maybe you've good reason to have instincts screaming at you that he's not a 'safe' person.

SuzetteDeFarcey · 23/04/2024 14:39

Is it a past picture or new one?

Sunnytwobridges · 23/04/2024 14:40

This would only bother me if he brings up his ex a lot or I felt like they had some inappropriate relationship going on. Otherwise I think you're overthinking it.

KitKatChunki · 23/04/2024 14:46

It's a game. My ex did this with a pic he took with his ex shortly after we began dating, she was the only one who was with him that day and it obviously meant something to the two of them. I questioned what it was all about after a few other things and never got an answer just a meek "ah I'm sorry about that". It was all part of making me out to be the crazy one in hindsight. Be cautious of things like this and your reactions, as he might be being goady to satisfy some issue he has.

OneTC · 23/04/2024 14:55

You've won today's unexpected twist award OP 😃

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