Internet safety with 13 year old

[Trepidfox]

Posting for traffic, have posted in teens but no replies.

Essentially we have just discovered 13 year old has been viewing porn via reddit. Have now blocked that via our router but I've just spent 2 hours reading all the ways they can swerve filters etc...tumblr, Pinterest, twitter and typing special codes before searching in browsers to name but a few 🤯 she doesn't have any of these apps but can view in browser.

Is there any guidance anyone can give that might help as in how to open up this conversation? We set time limits, have safe search and a shield on the router that can block some content.

She's on as a child account (family link android) but I have read that once aged 13 is reached family link doesn't really work as they can bypass you and mess with the settings themselves.

We've had lots of talks, I understand curiosity but obviously porn is massively damaging and I'm actually so gutted to see it's being accessed/watched.

Will be having a talk this evening, we had previously trusted that devices would be charged on her desk at night (this was kept to until recently as we have discovered) Will now both be removed completely from the room.

I'm so annoyed I was so glib about how they can still access this shit, I literally want to throw her phone and iPad out the window.

Don't beat yourself up. It's a Wild West out there. I work in tech and sometimes I get confused by it all.

I'm also not naive enough to think I'm going to be able to stay one step ahead of my tech-savvy child forever, or that I might have missed something.

All you can do is try ❤️

Thanks @0ddsocks I'm a ball of nerves but I want to be firm and strong with our follow up. I've climbed off the ledge and hopefully will have a better update this evening.

How did the conversation go OP?

Apologies life got in the way! We had about 3 hours on the sofa talking, I did my best but a few tears were shed (by me!) she explained that a friend had told her about how to look at reddit for porn. The 'friend' is a new one since starting secondary school. We've had concerns about this boy previously. She said I can't blame him for looking as it was her own choice to do so.

She took it well, a bit of squirming at times but as I said we do have pretty good communication and she is not shy talking about sex.

I have explained our boundaries, what we expect and have agreed that she comes off all devices at 8pm and they are now charged away from the bedroom. If she is found to be viewing anything like it again, they will be taken away permanently without exception.

I went down the route of how exploitative porn is, that many women in these images are victims of sex trafficking and/or violence and by viewing these images you become part of the problem. Also spoke about the possibility of individuals being underage which is illegal and comes with very serious consequences.

I still have some homework to do with blocking but I've blocked reddit and a few others.

I feel much better now that it's out in open, she's gone to sleep both nights quicker than normal so that's a positive.

Thanks for everyones input, it's very sad how many disturbing influences surround our kids these days 🙁