in refusing to retrieve schoolkids ball until they ask me NICELY???

[belcantavinissima]

then not actually passing it to them til they say thank you?!

our house backs onto the school. me, dd and ds1 were sat in garden having our lunch, all the schoolkids hanging over the fence making me feel like an animal in the zoo- it drives me mad- then they come and kick their ruddy ball over and demand i give it to them.

ds1 i think was a bit embarassed that i made them say please and thank you. i dont think iabu but he clearly thinks so! otoh maybe i am turning into a grumpy old woman

still, it got rid of the little sods

Message withdrawn

Of course they should say please and thankyou.

At home, we have the rule that neighbours throw the ball back "when they feel like it" and DS says thankyou nicely if he is out at the time. But no knocking on doors, and no shouting out for it if they happen to be out in the garden.

At school, I can see you need to give it back, as you don't want to spoil their whole playtime, BUT if there is any suggestion of them tossing it it over for a laugh, I'd hang on till playtime was over, then lob it back, so they'll be more careful next time.

Whew.. long post, saying nothing much as per usual.

i would complain to head aswell, it would really bug me to have them peering over the wall

I'd phone the school. They should not be intimidating you like this.

could you heighten the fence? plant a big tree or a big wall!

they are annoying and as intimidating as a bunch of young kids can be (primary school not secondary!) the trouble is is ds1 used to go to the school but we didnt like it and he didnt get on with the other kids. so they are over all the ruddy time esp if ds1 is about . lord only knows why- they never paid any attention to him when he actually went there!
and its one of those see through wire fences. i tell them off for picking the flowers through it

I think I am a fairly relaxed mum. BUT please and thank you are an absolute must in my house. When ever I hear mine or others children being polite it makes me feel proud. I don't know maybe it was the way I was brought up.

My DS has a friend to play at the moment and not sure he's even heard of the words and it really winds me up.

yanbu

def complain to the head

Oooh I'd be cross. ring the head and refuse to give the ball back until you're ready to do so.

alot of these kids are rude buggers tho. once one of them told my lovely ds2 (then aged 4) to f**k off.
i reallyu did complain about that one and the head made him write an apology letter and drop it round.

Misread Chamaeleon's post. Thought it said 'peeing' over the fence. Now that really would be something to complain to the head about.

OP. Not unreasonable at all.

lol mdb, have images in head now

not unreasonable at all...!!!

I don;t either, and they all now take bets on who will knock.

I just stand there tho, saying 'pardon' until they get that I am waiting for the 'please'.

tis funny how loud they used to get tho when they thought it was because I couldn;t hear them rather than their lack of manners.

I even kept the ball once as the little shite kid swore at me!!!

Typical conversation between Clam and small child lacking in social etiquette:
Child: I need my ball back.
Clam: Oh yes?
ChildPause)I need my ball back, please
Clam: Do you?
Child: (longer pause) Oh! Please can I have my ball back?
Clam: (deciding not to hold out for a 'may I') Certainly. Here you are....

Absolutely!!!!!!!! agree with you. I would also contact the head and ask for then to talk to the kids in assembly about respecting other people's privace and property and general politeness.

I saw something somewhere recently (terrible memory ) about how in some European countries whole communities still take responsibility for the upbringing of children. Such behaviour would not be tolerated and any grown up would have the duty to discipline and educate the brats young people.

privacy of course... and I suppose you would be very popular at the school if you did as I suggested .