Mum friends are 10 years older than me...

[aibuplease]

My close circle of mum friends that I meet up and go out with are all in their mid/late 30s. I'm early 20s. I get on better with those who are older than me and I've never thought it was unusual. I do feel like a bit of an outlier though.

I've started to feel like a bit of an imposter as their lives feel a lot different to mine - marriage, mortgages, second children etc. I feel slightly embarrassed. There's been occasions where I haven't known what to say as I'm too young to remember/don't have much to contribute on the topic they're discussing!

They don't know my age, have never asked but I'm sure they know I'm a lot younger!

AIBU and overthinking this? Or would this make you feel a bit strange if someone ten years younger than you was part of your friendship circle?

YANBU!

I am mid 30s and my mum friends are late 40s/early 50s, so I know how this feels.

Just depends if you have enough in common. If you’re often not able to join in, it may be that you don’t, and the friendship won’t last. Do you still have plenty to talk about?

It’s more stage of life in some ways. When I was mid twenties, single and renting, I did find the conversations about mortgages and weddings etc really dull!

Op your being daft. They probably know you're much younger than them.
Mum friends is about having friends at the same stage as you, giving the children the chance to play with other children the same / similar age.

Mum friends are valuable as children are same age. I am an older mum and younger mums give me a different perspective. A mix of ages makes a great mums circle. It's what you have in common that matters: which may extend beyond the kids

I’m 34. My best mum friend is 46. You’ll be fine! There are always awkward moments or different perspectives regardless of age. If you get on, don’t worry. Keep building the friendships.

Definitely overthinking
I'm a reverse... I look after my toddler grandson, and tomorrow, as every week, I will be meeting up with my friends at soft play... who are at least 20 years younger than me! We met at baby and toddler groups and now they message to check if I'll be there, and we are genuinely good friends and enjoy each other's company while the toddlers rampage! We arrange play dates etc and it's lovely... I love spending time with friends who are younger.

Age does not matter... if you get on with someone it's irrelevant! And trust me, we don't actually feel any wiser for being older, even if it sounds like it at times! I'm no different to when I was 25, except everything aches a bit more

You are overthinking this. I have mum friends in their 20s/30s/40s. As long as you get on just enjoy it. None of us have everything in common with all of our friends regardless of age. I’m in my 40’s and often joke with the younger ones about “not being born when x happened”. It’s honestly done with love. Enjoy the friendship for what they are, mum friends have been so good for me.

It’s more stage of life in some ways. When I was mid twenties, single and renting, I did find the conversations about mortgages and weddings etc really dull!

This!
It doesn't really matter what age your friends are, but sometimes it can matter if they are at a different stage of life.

Your friendship group have presumably bonded over the commonality of you having dc the same age.

I’m 25 with two toddlers. My closest mum friend is 46, one year younger than my mum lol. If you get along, you get along

Two of my closest friends are 13 yrs and 25 years older than me. For me it’s more personalities that I gravitate towards. As long as people are chatty and fun I don’t care what age they are.

I had my ds in my early twenties all the other mums were late twenties to early thirties. Never bothered me in the slightest and I don't remember feeling different to them.

When I had dd I was late thirties and all the other mums were late Twenties to early thirties and I felt ancient in comparison 😂

But I'm still close to a couple of them.

They may well really appreciate having someone younger around who can fill them in on the bits that they aren’t as on the ball with. I understand it can sometimes feel odd to be the only one who doesn’t really get a reference or to have some quite different priorities and pressures in life, but you also share children of (presumably) roughly the same age.

I’m one of those older mothers but when kids were in primary there was a younger mother in the group I generally socialised with - the rest of us were older - and she was great. Funny and kind. A real pleasure to be around. I hope we didn’t leave her feeling left out with our references to 80s and 90s pop culture to the extent she doubted her entitlement to be part of the group. We’d have been worse off without her.

I think you are over thinking it. My mums group had a good range of ages and some mums born and raised in different countries - so not everyone would understand references for a range of reasons. However we all bonded over being a new parent.

I was the ‘young’ mum at school - most of the others in reception class when my eldest started were in their late thirties and I was in early 20’s.

we made friends and it wasn’t an issue.

it’s funny - even though mine are adults now - most of my friends (not just from the kids school time but from church etc ) are older than me by at least 10 or 15 years.

I love them as we have so much in common - I must just be an old soul!

age means nothing - if they are good people who you can have fun with and make you laugh, have a moan with, will help you when you need a hand - just go with it!

I'm usually the oldest in a mom group as I adopted my 4th at 51 and my 5th at 60.
My mom friends range in age from mid 20s to mid 40s. No one seems to mind that I'm old enough to be some of their moms. Usually the only time there is someone close to my age is if they are raising grandchildren.
So I wouldn't let it bother you, it doesn't seem like it bothers them.