If I said no to this get together

[Jellyrose20]

My husband has x3 adult cousins who all have children and who live in various countries across the world.
For the first time in 5 years they are all coming back to the UK for a week and my husband's auntie has suggested a get together would be nice one day on the weekend.

My husband has asked if everyone can come over for a bbq and said I wouldn't have to do anything.
I have a very lively 5 year old and I will be 39+2 days pregnant on the suggested date (assuming I make it to due date). There would be 12 adults and 6 children - so 18 in total.
He has promised I won't have to do anything but realistically given it is in my home I suspect I will be asked innocently for things and it doesn't stop the fact that this will mean even with the best efforts in the world from my husband he will be too busy to help parent my daughter meaning I will be taking the lead.
They aren't family members we see often so my daughter doesn't know anyone well to go to them.

I can just remember how I felt when I was that pregnant before and I can't imagine having 18 people in my house and feeling like I have to socialise and play some level of hostess when that pregnant.

I currently have moderate PGP, iron deficient anaemia and reflux so I'm overall having a worse pregnancy than with my first.

His family live 2.5 hours away so he can't (and doesn't want to) go to them in case baby comes early.
I want to say no but I feel so guilty because of what a rare opportunity this is for him to see all his cousins at the same time.

So....is it unreasonable to say no? Is there a middle ground I'm not seeing?
My husband isn't putting anything pressure on the request and said he recognises its likely a no, but I want to be as fair as possible.

Yeah book a restaurant. It’s not like you can guarantee BBQ weather (if in UK) and it’d be crap having them all stuck inside your house. Also you might have to cancel last minute if you do go into labour. It’s a nice idea but not the best plan.

However, it’s totally reasonable for him to want to see all his cousins and not have to go 2 hours away to do so, so tell him to get thinking of alternatives!

But you don’t get to rest when pregnant and with another young child so it’s not as if the OP will get to lie down.

Either way it’s a no. My point was that far into pregnancy hosting isn’t the dream. Assuming she makes it that far, she might have a 3 day old by that point!

I think it would be a real shame for the family to not all meet up but it's probably best to hire a function room or similar - or a table at a restaurant nearby then back to yours for cups of tea - no catering - but also so you can go to bed but still have your partner in the same building.

Dear god, is he mad? Just no, obviously. I’m beyond amazed that he even thought to ask. You could be in active labour or have just given birth. Crazy.

Not a chance. There is every possibility that you will be breathing in gas and air, clutching his hand and pushing a baby out at the point he should be grilling sausages for 18 people.

Is he normally this dim? Or optimistic?

Hell no. Not at 39+2 ( or even a days old infant) and a lively 5 year old.
Tell DH to book a restaurant!!

Book a restaurant or function room nearby. Attend if he can.

If he's invited everyone over and you are in labour and you both dash off to hospital that leaves his family with no sensible plan, equally you could both be just coming home after 3 days in labour in hospital and neither of you want a house full of people and neither will be remotely able to look after them. With a venue nearby booked he can show up and see them if it's do-able but need to be very aware that he might be otherwise engaged at the time and that's is not remotely sensible ( or fair).