Forgivable random alcohol nonsense?

[LookOverHere]

I spent the weekend with an old school friend, and it started great but ended badly. We drank too much wine, at first laughing and having a fun time, then she got a bit slurry, sort of turned on me and made some shocking and quite random loaded remarks. One of them was that her mum says racist things about people from my culture. Ha ha, she laughed. Why would anyone repeat something like that? I was properly shocked and let it go. Then she said “did I tell you about my neighbour, she’s a complete moron, and she’s from your country! What the hell is wrong with your education system?!”. Again, I thought ok she’s drunk and being argumentative, I let it go. I stayed over, left the next morning. Then I kept thinking about it. I’ve experienced bigoted and racist remarks from strangers, but never from a close friend. She is a big drinker and can be rude, but I’ve never heard anything like this from her before. Is this drunken nonsense to be ignored? Or something serious? I don’t feel like interacting with her again.

Is this drunken nonsense to be ignored?

That's entirely up to you.

I wouldn't ignore it if it was me.

Yeah, I wouldn't be friends with a racist.

I'm so sorry you had to listen to that from a so-called 'friend.'

I agree with PP, absolutely no way I would be letting that go!

I don't drink alcohol but my observations of people that drink to excess is that lips loosen and they say things they wouldn't usually say out aloud but keep inside.

No not forgivable IMO. I’d forgive bad dancing, general silliness, getting an overpriced pedicab, vomiting in a bin, bugging the DJ to play Shaggy or any other stupid and annoying yet ultimately harmless drunken behaviour. Spouting racist shit though, absolutely not. Sorry you had to listen to that from someone who was supposed to be a mate.

If you don't feel like interacting with her again, then don't. I wouldn't. You don't need permission from any of us lot or convincing that you should overlook such hurtful, racist behaviour. If you never talk to her again that's ok.

Have you spoken to her about it? What are her usual views on racism and people of other ethnicities?

whatever you decide you’re not being unreasonable

I couldn't forgive those comments nor would I want to be friends with someone whose morals were so far removed from my own. Racism is unforgivable for me and is a hard line in terms of friendships/relationships

Hi, thanks for replying. I haven’t. I feel annoyed and I want to cool down first. I feel really annoyed with myself for not tackling it there and then. I just froze. Interestingly I mentioned it to a mutual friend and apparently something happened at her work once. She said something offensive that upset a colleague.

In vino veritas?

You can’t really reason with a drunk person and given you had no idea she was a closet racist, you also have no idea if she’s an argumentative or violent drunk so I think it’s for the best you didn’t escalate things then and there. Don’t be annoyed with yourself, you did absolutely nothing wrong.

Thank you - I appreciate your kind response

Let her go. She's no loss to your life.
I strongly suspect that she'll remember and feel really disgusted with herself but be strong, if she tries to apologise.
There is no excuse for racism.

I speak as someone who's been in the same boat.

I've been every kind of drunk, it's probably made me funny, boring, annoying, emotional, a wee bit arsey at some point in my life.
Damn sure it never ever made me racist.

Drink doesn't make people racist, homophobic, exist, obnoxious, a cheat etc

These things are there already, it just shows them in a less filtered manner.

Your "friend" is a racist and not a nice person. Cut ties, she's no loss.

That's horrible, and don't blame yourself for freezing. You have every right to address it when you are both sober if you choose to. As others have said being drunk does not make you racist.

In vino Veritas. Which I understand to mean that alcohol loosens the tongue and people speak the truth. So I guess that you may want to tackle her and let her know how you feel. Whether you continue with the friendship is of course up to you.