Divorce maintenance payment extension?

[RestingWifeFace]

Divorced for over 10 years and ex has been paying (parental and child) maintenance ever since we had the legal agreement put into place. Agreement states that it’s paid until the youngest child leaves secondary education. That time is coming very soon. AIBU to expect my ex to continue paying the/any maintenance all the time the children are living with me, even if it's not a legal requirement?

Where are you? I've never heard of this kind of maintenance. Is this for the child or is it some kind of spousal maintenance or both?

UK - it's actually a combination of child maintenance and spousal maintenance

He is being reasonable to stick to the legal agreement.

Was the divorce settlement generally fair?

Is the child looking at uni etc? Sometimes parents will pay the child directly.

Thanks. We split the equity from the sale of the family home 50-50, and the payments were higher than the government minimums. If either go to uni, I am expecting some help with that for sure, and I am sure my ex will help.

If the child is remaining in education, it’s fine to ask. If the child is not really a child
anymore and is now working age, your adult child should really supporting themself and contributing towards the running of the house.

Why might you expect it to continue?

If the kids are going to uni then dad will hopefully give them (not you) some money.

If they are going to working (even as an apprentice) then they need to pay you board if you need the money.

Maybe if the youngest decides to go for further education

Surely once your children are at uni any help your ex might provide would go to them directly rather than you? You can’t expect to continue to receive child and spousal maintenance once your children reach 18. Are you supporting yourself? Do you work? You need to be asking your children for a household contribution if they are still
going to be living at home. If they’re going to be away at uni, then you need to start funding your household yourself.

What @Sunnyday777 says.

Do you work?

I would imagine that your ex will now start paying his children directly if they continue with further Education. However I would expect the spousal maintenance to stop on the day your youngest turns 18 regardless of what they do. Do you work?

Do you work? How have you prepared towards this point since your divorce, and how long ago was that?

I can't see why you would have a case for child maintenance once they have finished A levels. If they go to Uni then they will mostly live away.

Spousal maintenence is supposed to assist with helping transition to a financiallt independent life. Have you been able to work in last few years?

If you’ve been divorced for 10 years, have you been working since then or a SAHM? If so, I’d be thinking about getting into employment now, but if you are working already, is that not enough to live on.

Spousal maintenance after more than 10 years, absolutely not. That's a very long time to have had to support someone too, I'm surprised it was mandated to go on for that long.
With children it depends if they go straight into work or stay in education. The former, I'd be expecting them to contribute themselves, the latter, both parents should be contributing towards supporting them.

It doesn’t work that way.

At 18, adults (not children) can legally provide for themselves. If in further education, they are expected to use a loan and work in the long holidays.

Now, of course, that is a bit of a crappy situation compared to when I was young, so decent parents help out with expenses by giving money directly to their children. And, of course, if they live with you full time, one of those expenses is rent and board at your house.

So, nothing obligatory at all and, if your ExH does the right thing by helping his adult children out, you can then charge a fair amount for their board and lodging.

OP, ignore all the comments about spousal maintenance. I know three women who get it for life due to the major sacrifices they made for their husband’s careers or through being instrumental in their ex’s success.

All, thanks for feedback. Currently working self-employed. I'll hope ex will contribute if there's further education.

If he agrees to pay for tertiary education, or if it's in the order that he has to, great. If neither of those applies, he won't have to.

Usually the paying parent supports the "child" directly when they're at university instead of paying the money to the other parent, since the "child" is by then an "adult".

You've done well to have spousal maintenance for ten years!

Usually, both parents will give support money to a child attending university.

I doubt he'll continue to pay spousal maintenance. Both dcs are old enough to care for themselves.

Don't ignore those comments at all. Those women have clearly had a lifetime clause in their arrangements, the OP doesn't

I guess it depends if both you and your ex understood "the end of secondary education" to mean 16 or 18. If your ex thinks it's the former because sixth form isn't "secondary" then I think you have a good case (morally, if not legally) to argue that kids don't become magically cheaper once they do their GCSEs.

Spousal maintenance is rare in the UK. You've been fortunate to have it for so long, and you will have been told to prepare for this time, and improve your own earning potential before now.

From my acquaintances, child support to 21 if in full time education (18 if not) is common, but it is often paid directly to the child after 18.

Spousal support, depends on the purpose and agreement. But generally I’d expect it to end at 18.

I doubt very much that you know 3 women who have it for life - that is incredibly rare in the UK.