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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's embarrassing to put cones outside your house?

119 replies

Oby1802 · 22/04/2024 12:17

I have a neighbour who does this.. they aren't elderly or disabled but every time she leaves for work she gets out the cones and puts them in "her" parking space.

It's just a road so it's not an owned space.

I find it so cringe worthy and entitled? I couldn't personally bring myself to do it.

Does anyone else's neighbour do this? I've never said anything because really it doesn't make much of a difference to me except occasionally when the road is full and I could potentially have parked closer to my house if her cones weren't in the way but it's not worth moving them and falling out over! But I do find it a bit ott.

OP posts:
orchiddottyback · 23/04/2024 21:17

@Oby1802 This is straight forward print this on a sheet of A4 and pop it in a plain envelope and post it through her letter box addressed to the occupier 📩

" https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1980/66/section/137

Penalty for wilful obstruction.(1)If a person, without lawful authority or excuse, in any way wilfully obstructs the free passage along a highway he is guilty of an offence and liable to [F1imprisonment for a term not exceeding 51 weeks or] a fine [F2or both].

Its illegal to obstruct the highway without permision from the local highway authority. "

If they continue call local council highways they will have to come and remove or speak to her 😊

Highways Act 1980

An Act to consolidate the Highways Acts 1959 to 1971 and related enactments, with amendments to give effect to recommendations of the Law Commission.

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1980/66/section/137

SeanBeansMealDeal · 23/04/2024 22:38

sleepwouldbenice · 23/04/2024 20:29

"I suppose, if they have 6 cars in the one household, then it means they 'take' less parking than 6 spaces out of the equation, but it's very annoying that they then get their access guaranteed, whilst everybody else has to make do and fight for the remaining too-few spaces"

Yes they have space for 6 on their now v large driveway / paved over front lawn. But they only have 2 cars themselves. Rest are for their visitors....

She even swore at neighbour who parked near their big white line. Can't buy manners!

Ah, that makes things very different, then.

Wait... she swore at somebody who parked NEAR the white line? The white line is usually already measured and marked generously to take that into account - if somebody is right near to it, but not on it, then they are doing nothing wrong at all.

Leaving aside the case of your particularly nasty neighbours, to be fair, I have long thought that the concept of having a drive and thus the right to unrestricted access to it from the road is a bit of a liberty that people don't necessarily fully appreciate.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't have the system, nor that people should feel entitled to block your drive; but even though you aren't actually parking on the road, you've effectively reserved (the equivalent of) one parking space for your exclusive use. I have a drive - and i benefit from it too! - so I'm not complaining about it at all; it just struck me that there is a potential argument for why it isn't 100% fair to have a 'loophole' to take exclusive rights to what could have been a parking space available to everybody.

I remember this being discussed before on here and some people, who I believe rather missed the point, were very indignant that they'd paid a premium price for a house that came with a driveway and dropped kerb - but even if they'd paid £5m for the house, they didn't buy it from the council, did they?

Prrambulate · 23/04/2024 22:47

I know someone who did this, not only placing cones but packing them inside with a tonne of cement so they’re impossible for anyone to move. Right on the edges of his parking space, to prevent anyone parking close to his driveway.

SeanBeansMealDeal · 23/04/2024 22:48

All council/authority traffic cones should be marked in massive, unremovable neon letters with the message 'This cone has either been placed here on behalf of the council or otherwise by a selfish, entitled arsehole who has stolen it'.

I'm sure you can still buy them independently, but I'm guessing that the kind of person who presumes to aggressively steal a section of public highway for their own personal use is probably also the kind of person who wouldn't dream of paying for their own cones, rather than steal them.

It also raises the question of where these people have stolen the cones from. Assuming that they don't work for the council's roads department and thus have access to the depot, I can only assume that they've removed them from a place where they have been purposefully sited for everybody's safety - which makes them even worse arseholes than they already were.

Doubtisthemaster · 23/04/2024 22:51

There are some houses near to my daughter's college that have private drive ways, however they place cones outside their houses either side of the drive on the edge of the pavements so no cars can pull up there to wait for their kids, presumably. So many times I've been tempted to move the cones because it's annoying and I'm sure this isn't even legal.

SeanBeansMealDeal · 23/04/2024 22:54

Prrambulate · 23/04/2024 22:47

I know someone who did this, not only placing cones but packing them inside with a tonne of cement so they’re impossible for anyone to move. Right on the edges of his parking space, to prevent anyone parking close to his driveway.

I'd put in a faux-innocent request to the council, to ask them what job the siting of the cones relates to and how much longer they anticipate the work lasting, before the cones can be removed and the parking spaces available again.

Councils usually love to exert their own authority and don't take kindly to individuals trying to steal a march on them, so I can imagine that they may well pop over and deal with this for you.

That said, even if they're full of concrete, they'd still be no match for a friendly neighbour with a 4x4, a tow bar and some rope. They could at least drag them a little way - right in front of his actual drive access! #livebythesworddiebythesword

Caswallonthefox · 23/04/2024 23:22

Somebody is SELLING cones on my local Facebook page. They look all sparkly and not stolen, but wtf would buy them when they can be swiped from your friendly neighbourhood worksite?

SeanBeansMealDeal · 24/04/2024 01:39

Caswallonthefox · 23/04/2024 23:22

Somebody is SELLING cones on my local Facebook page. They look all sparkly and not stolen, but wtf would buy them when they can be swiped from your friendly neighbourhood worksite?

If indeed they haven't stolen them from roadworks, I wonder if they work for the council or Highways Agency?

If they have a depot stacked full of thousands of them - maybe just newly ordered and delivered - they're highly unlikely to notice if a few dozen are stolen to order by a crooked worker.

mathanxiety · 24/04/2024 02:07

It's a big thing locally when we have snow. You shovel a spot on the street outside your house and put an object or a bunch of stuff there to hold the spot until you get back from work. It is very much frowned upon to disregard the Dibs.
www.tumblr.com/chicagodibs/676844718953463808/photo-by-mitchoconnelart

SeanBeansMealDeal · 24/04/2024 02:36

mathanxiety · 24/04/2024 02:07

It's a big thing locally when we have snow. You shovel a spot on the street outside your house and put an object or a bunch of stuff there to hold the spot until you get back from work. It is very much frowned upon to disregard the Dibs.
www.tumblr.com/chicagodibs/676844718953463808/photo-by-mitchoconnelart

I have sympathy with people who do this, but you still can't claim a public resource as yours, just because you've put effort into it. I can't lovingly sand and creosote a bench in my local park that's seen better days and then expect in so doing to earn the right to have first dibs on it over everybody else.

Who is to say that somebody else wouldn't have wanted that spot and been equally willing to clear it (or been happy to drive on to it still covered in snow) - except that you've already done it, for you?

This makes me think of 'Barbara' in the recent allotment threads - where she has clearly put a huge amount of work into preparing, caring for and cultivating the allotment so as to grow lots of lovely food; but it isn't hers and the rightful owners now want to use it, also being prepared to put lots of work into it and reap the benefits. It isn't enough to just put effort into something and expect to gain rights to it, if it's never actually yours in the first place.

TealSapphire · 24/04/2024 03:30

I'd drive right over them and say I didn't see them!

stayathomer · 24/04/2024 04:50

We have a driveway and I can’t imagine the hell of coming home from work to find someone has parked outside your house. I think anybody here that has a driveway might say it’s ridiculous but after a while of having to figure out parking might do it (there’s no parking outside my mums house and I have to park with the kids 5/10 minutes away and walk up)

SeanBeansMealDeal · 24/04/2024 10:09

stayathomer · 24/04/2024 04:50

We have a driveway and I can’t imagine the hell of coming home from work to find someone has parked outside your house. I think anybody here that has a driveway might say it’s ridiculous but after a while of having to figure out parking might do it (there’s no parking outside my mums house and I have to park with the kids 5/10 minutes away and walk up)

We really need to disabuse ourselves of any notion that, just because something happens to be located near to our property, that effectively makes it our property too.

Our neighbour's garden is just as close to our house as the road is, but that doesn't mean we have have any say over how she chooses to use it.

As a student, I used to live next door to a massive book shop - they had shelves that were probably about a foot away (through the wall) from my head as I slept - but they still weren't mine. As it was a shop, I had just as much right as anybody else to go into the shop (through their front door - not by tunnelling through from my bedroom!), find whichever books they had available that I wanted and buy them; but if somebody else had bought the last copy, or if I couldn't afford/didn't want to pay for any of their goods that I desired, I had less right to them than somebody visiting from Australia who did get there first and pay for them.

However much we might hope to be able to grab an available space close to our property, if there are no restrictions on doing so, it's pointless trying to get territorial over somebody else's property. The council could at any time decide that it's no longer a safe place to park and paint double yellow lines, so that nobody is ever allowed to park there (as was the case for the road where my flat next to the book shop was).

Notaflippinclue · 24/04/2024 15:40

We had a random cone in the wildlife bit of our garden that was taken over by bees - they must have thought they lived in a right modern gaff!

pambeesleyhalpert · 24/04/2024 20:49

I'd move them and park there if there was no where else to park. CF

mathanxiety · 24/04/2024 21:18

SeanBeansMealDeal · 24/04/2024 02:36

I have sympathy with people who do this, but you still can't claim a public resource as yours, just because you've put effort into it. I can't lovingly sand and creosote a bench in my local park that's seen better days and then expect in so doing to earn the right to have first dibs on it over everybody else.

Who is to say that somebody else wouldn't have wanted that spot and been equally willing to clear it (or been happy to drive on to it still covered in snow) - except that you've already done it, for you?

This makes me think of 'Barbara' in the recent allotment threads - where she has clearly put a huge amount of work into preparing, caring for and cultivating the allotment so as to grow lots of lovely food; but it isn't hers and the rightful owners now want to use it, also being prepared to put lots of work into it and reap the benefits. It isn't enough to just put effort into something and expect to gain rights to it, if it's never actually yours in the first place.

You wouldn't last long in Chicago with that sort of attitude Grin

You've clearly never experienced a really heavy snowfall in bitterly cold winter weather in a densely populated urban area that only closes for business when snow is waist deep, and people are expected to show up to work on time regardless of the weather.

Yes, the streets are public property, but the shoveling is your work and not the effort of the interloper. Others are welcome to keep a snow shovel in their boots in winter and dig out a spot for themselves if they want to park. But we're talking about people who wake in the morning, and in order to get their car out and driving, shoveling is needed. Nobody else was equally willing to clear it because nobody else was snowed in there but the person who was obliged to do the heavy work of digging it out. And they couldn't have driven into it, snow and all...

Taking advantage of someone else's hard work is not ok, and it doesn't matter how much you 'feel' you want or even need to park in a shoveled spot. Once someone else has shoveled it, you are obliged to keep driving and find your own spot. It is part of the social contract, an unwritten law of life in the city.

It's not the equivalent of the allotment thief because she stole the use of privately rented property that was under someone else's name, and it's not the equivalent of laying permanent claim to a park bench because everyone knows Dibs is a temporary matter. Nobody would leave a Nativity scene out to claim a spot when there isn't a considerable snowfall or when they were expecting guests, or simply because they believed the spot outside their house was somehow theirs forever.

People park their cars on the streets outside their houses or apartments because there isn't anywhere else to park. It then snows, and where the shoveling and Dibs situation arises, we're talking about a lot of snow - 6 inches, a foot, etc. In the case of a very heavy snowfall, the city ploughs will also cast a two feet high berm of compacted snow/ ice that you have to hack through too, in order to get your car out of its spot.

Cars get covered in a substantial amount of snow, and so do the streets. In order to drive your car to work you have to first clear the snow off it and then shovel all that snow off the street beside your car where it fell, as well as the original street snow so your tyres can gain traction. The snow ends up in mounds on the grass, along with snow that you have first shoveled off the sidewalk. Then, after half an hour or more of clearing, shoveling, and dumping in the dark and the cold, you can get behind the wheel and take your life in your hands all the way to work.

People take shoveling seriously because it is a huge pita and considered a civic duty as well as a matter of personal convenience. They shovel sidewalks and dig out cars for old and infirm neighbours too, because compacted snow turns sidewalks to ice rinks, and it is often beyond the power of older residents to dig out a car.

If you come home after your day at work (a day that started considerably earlier than most other days because you had to factor in shoveling time) and find someone else has taken advantage of all your work, so you have to drive around in the snow to try to find another spot and dig it out, yes, you have a right to be pissed off about it.

Hence Dibs. It's not a perpetual claim to the spot. It is a notification to opportunists that basic decency is expected, and above all that the work of shoveling is to be respected. It prevents needless fisticuffs and worse.

AshlieChambers · 14/01/2025 10:45

I totally get the frustration! It’s not just selfish; it's borderline theft, especially if were swiped from a site where they were genuinely needed for safety. Back when I lived in New Zealand, road cones and temporary barriers were a big deal for businesses managing traffic or construction zones. Seeing them misused like this would’ve been a real eye-roll moment for anyone. The irony is, there are legit companies out there where people can rent or buy for personal use if they really need to save a spot for something important.

Quality Traffic Road Cones & Safety Solutions | Astrolift NZ | Astrolift NZ

Astrolift supplies high-quality traffic road cones, expanding/retractable bars, and temporary safety solutions designed for New Zealand weather conditions. Touch base with our team or shop online!

https://www.astrolift.co.nz/category/Road-Cones-and-Temporary-Barriers

thecherryfox · 14/01/2025 11:27

I have 2 allocated parking spaces for my flat. The council never bothered to put lines down, markings of who the spaces belong to or signage - so it just looks like your average car park. unless you live in the flats, you wouldn’t know the carpark is allocated spaces. I’m disabled but because I don’t use an aid, I look ‘normal’. Same with my son, he’s autistic, but looks ‘normal’ - so how do you know someone’s disabilities? Can you tell the amount of pain they’re in if they’re disabled? Can you tell their struggles just based on appearances?

anyway, I have one car and two allocated spaces yet everyone parks in my spaces. I’ve had to buy a cone and put the cone in one of my spaces so people don’t park in it. If I don’t put it down and someone’s parked there, I’d have to park at the back of the car park in someone else’s space and it would be physically impossible to walk myself and walk with my autistic child across the carpark safely. The cone is essential to both mine and my son’s wellbeing.

you never know what other people are going through. Judging someone when you don’t know their health issues because they look ‘normal‘ to you. They may be in the process of getting a disabled bay fitted. I don’t see a problem with someone making their life easier.

Like sure, if it’s not allocated, there’s nothing wrong with them and they’re just doing it out of pure selfishness you have a right to think it’s wrong. But making a judgement when you don’t know their situation is pure wrong.

thecherryfox · 14/01/2025 11:30

Harvestfestivalknickers · 22/04/2024 12:34

We had a neighbour who did this. DP took the cone back to the council yard.

People can buy cones though. I brought a cone for £20 off Amazon for my allocated spaces that people park in. Not everyone is thieving them

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