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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel so angry over this ( nhs / hospitals )

10 replies

Takemebacktothe90s1 · 22/04/2024 00:32

I will try not to drip feed but it may be a long post 🙈

DD 11, was born with significant birth defects raging effecting mainly lungs / heart and bowel.
she was required ventilating at birth and then crashed so required oscillator and full nitric oxide.
she still to this day has complex medical needs but I suppose you wouldn’t notice just by meeting her and requires a lot of hospital treatment.
we know our hospital and it’s staff very well.
2 years ago she caught a severe infection/ sepsis, the overall care was a bit hit and miss and it was a very tough time. On recovery DD was left unable to walk but they discharged us with a piece of paper of places to rent a wheelchair from. At this point I wasn’t even sure how I was managing to get her home or up the stairs. Gradually she started walking but her foot was “ stuck “ she could not place the foot flat on the floor and it was painful to her hip “ no matter what we did it just did not budge. We took her to the hospital and a doctor who we know quite well had said she saw DD put her foot down and DD sweat she didn’t, so we were dismissed.
nee finally managed to battle and her seen by ortho but the dr who had seen her before had already told them that it was “ psychological “
before we had got the ortho appointment I had had her seen at a private hospital by a ortho doctor who was also a consultant at a big nhs hospital. She told me straight away that is wasn’t being put on or psychological and that her leg was so tight that it caused basically her to lose range of her foot, she had written to the other hospital to tell them she would start with serial casting to release the leg or if it didn’t work surgery.
when we got to the nhs ortho appointment they decided based on what the paed had said originally that it was psychological, and Instead of doing serial casting, they gave her a leg cast for 48 hours to make her feel like her foot was fixed. This obviously did not work. We then requested the GP to refer her to the ortho we had seen at the private hospital hit via the NHS.
By the time we got there it was much worse than when she had first seen it and
er went through 10-12 weeks of over the knee casting to get the foot back on the floor. By this point she has been left wheelchair bound most of the time for a year with no intervention or finding out why.
we were extremely lucky that she responded well to treatment however it is starting again and our last ortho appointment they said although she is still flat it’s very close to reoccurring and that surgery would be the best option when it does.
she had also been having issues with shoulder / arm on the same side where it was sort of stuck upwards.
she had lost ability to participate in school pe and co- ordination in sports which OT was referring to paeds for assesment for dyspraxia . I got the last letter through recently from the latest ortho appointkent who said that they were aware that a dyspraxia test was being organised but that in their option she presents as a right sided hemiplegia.
I’m so angry at how my DD was made to feel and how after the severe infection no one took notice that something was right and instead blamed it on “ psychological reasons “ or Implied she was faking it.
this whole process has now taken 2 years would it be too late to put an official complaint in ( I don’t mean me sue ) but something to highlight the emotional and physical stress she went through by not being believed.

OP posts:
Whatatodo79 · 22/04/2024 01:47

It's not too late to complain but what will it achieve?

EatCrow · 22/04/2024 01:51

I would. Do it for you and your daughter.

Jennybeans401 · 22/04/2024 04:36

Yes complain. Its absolutely shocking treatment, I hope the future treatment is better for your dd.

WiddlinDiddlin · 22/04/2024 04:45

I would complain... but... do you have the energy and time to do this on top of your other general family/life commitments? It's not a quick or easy process to follow it through and you have to be clear on exactly what it is you want as some form of resolution/result.

I think I'd be keen to have the 'psychological' dx removed from her results... but I don't know that there is much point going further than that.

AgentJohnson · 22/04/2024 06:11

Absolutely complain but don’t hold out for anything changing, Dr’s and trusts don’t like being told they are wrong or their care isn’t up to much. Advocating for yourself and your child can be a thankless task but you might just benefit from the ‘just to shut her up we will do x, y and z’ benefit of being a pain in their arses.

BelindaOkra · 22/04/2024 06:15

Whatatodo79 · 22/04/2024 01:47

It's not too late to complain but what will it achieve?

Hopefully prevent it happening to someone else.

Yes complain. Contact PALS for the hospital - the contact details should be easily available online. I put in a late complaint. It took a long time, but we had an adequate outcome (helped by the fact a parliamentary committee used DS’s case as an example of what should NOT happen).

BelindaOkra · 22/04/2024 06:18

It does take so long that you have to be able to make the complaint, then forget it for long periods. The first response we received was so outrageous that I ended up putting in a subject access request. That resulted in a better outcome.

I had to forget it in between though. The NHS is a pretty toxic organisation & you cone on the wrong side of that when you complain.

Willmafrockfit · 22/04/2024 06:18

is the hemiplegia caused by birth or the sepsis?

Heartoverhead1 · 22/04/2024 06:23

Definitely compassion if you have the headspace to do it and aren't too invested in the outcome. It may make you feel better and may help to prevent this happening again.

The NHS is a shitshow.

Twinkletwinklelil · 22/04/2024 06:40

Firstly, so sorry you’ve been through all of that. Your daughter sounds like such a brave and strong young girl!

definitely complain. It’s never too late. I would even see if you can get legal support as they neglected to even try to understand what was happening here! Using an excuse to say it’s psychological is terrible but also doesn’t shock me. My brother has been ill for many many years and the drs can’t diagnose it so blame psychology. It’s not. It’s not good enough to put it down to the unexplainable.

wishing you all the best x

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