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AIBU?

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Original poster

What's wrong with me?

23 replies

Freakingfreaky · 21/04/2024 23:41

What's wrong with me?

I feel no feelings. I don't care about anything.

Me and DP have just booked a holiday of a life time, and I just feel meh!

I've had a falling out with a family member, haven't spoken for a while, but I don't care.

Nothing I do or anything anyone does for me, makes me feel happy, I don't feel sad either, I feel nothing!

This isn't a new thing, I've been like it for years. I'm not depressed, I dont struggle going about my day, I get up, get ready, go to work, do what needs doing, chat with the kids, it's just that I just don't care...about anything! What's wrong with me?!?

OP posts:
TheCoffeeNebula · 22/04/2024 00:02

Depression can cause this kind of emotional blunting, rather than the more well-known sadness and low mood type of symptoms. But lots of other things can cause emotional blunting too, including other mental health problems, life circumstances, neurodevelopmental disorders etc.

It's a recognised symptom, though, so if it's not how you've been your whole life, and you can't pin down the reason yourself, I don't think it would be unreasonable to see your GP and ask about it — though you're likely just to get depression-related treatment suggestions, rather than an in-depth assessment.

JMSA · 22/04/2024 00:14

How old are you, OP?
I mean, I think I can relate. I'm not sure of the last time I felt particularly excited about anything.

Haggisfish3 · 22/04/2024 00:17

I think it can happen if you are masking your real feelings. Are you really and truly happy with dh? With your life choices? I felt like this and it was because at a deep level I wasn’t happy. On the surface I was very happy and content.

Original poster
Freakingfreaky · 22/04/2024 00:18

TheCoffeeNebula · 22/04/2024 00:02

Depression can cause this kind of emotional blunting, rather than the more well-known sadness and low mood type of symptoms. But lots of other things can cause emotional blunting too, including other mental health problems, life circumstances, neurodevelopmental disorders etc.

It's a recognised symptom, though, so if it's not how you've been your whole life, and you can't pin down the reason yourself, I don't think it would be unreasonable to see your GP and ask about it — though you're likely just to get depression-related treatment suggestions, rather than an in-depth assessment.

That's why I won't go to the doctors because I know,.on the face of it, it sounds like I'm depressed, but I KNOW I'm not, I've just stopped caring.

I've had shit thrown at me through the years that I've had to fight on my own, maybe it's to do with that?

OP posts:
Original poster
Freakingfreaky · 22/04/2024 00:19

JMSA · 22/04/2024 00:14

How old are you, OP?
I mean, I think I can relate. I'm not sure of the last time I felt particularly excited about anything.

I'm mid 40s, but have been feeling like this for as long as I can remember

OP posts:
Original poster
Freakingfreaky · 22/04/2024 00:20

Haggisfish3 · 22/04/2024 00:17

I think it can happen if you are masking your real feelings. Are you really and truly happy with dh? With your life choices? I felt like this and it was because at a deep level I wasn’t happy. On the surface I was very happy and content.

I think I'm happy with my DP, I've no reason not to be. He's kind, caring and loyal. 🤷

OP posts:
YankSplaining · 22/04/2024 00:23

That's why I won't go to the doctors because I know,.on the face of it, it sounds like I'm depressed, but I KNOW I'm not, I've just stopped caring.

I don’t get why you’re so sure you’re not depressed.

TheCoffeeNebula · 22/04/2024 00:25

Freakingfreaky · 22/04/2024 00:18

That's why I won't go to the doctors because I know,.on the face of it, it sounds like I'm depressed, but I KNOW I'm not, I've just stopped caring.

I've had shit thrown at me through the years that I've had to fight on my own, maybe it's to do with that?

Show quote history

Yeah, that makes sense — if you're sure it's not depression, the GP might not have much to offer you. Can you access counselling through any avenue, so you can talk through how you're feeling (or not feeling) with someone, without any particular medical slant, and maybe talk yourself towards some insights into what might be going on? If it bothers you, that is. If it doesn't bother you, then there's no law saying you have to have strong feelings about things.

Damnyourheadshoulderskneesandtoes · 22/04/2024 00:29

Just because you're not depressed doesn't mean that you don't potentially have a mental health condition. You really should talk to your GP. If you lost all feeling in your foot or your hand you would get it checked out.

RogueFemale · 22/04/2024 00:33

Freakingfreaky · 21/04/2024 23:41

What's wrong with me?

I feel no feelings. I don't care about anything.

Me and DP have just booked a holiday of a life time, and I just feel meh!

I've had a falling out with a family member, haven't spoken for a while, but I don't care.

Nothing I do or anything anyone does for me, makes me feel happy, I don't feel sad either, I feel nothing!

This isn't a new thing, I've been like it for years. I'm not depressed, I dont struggle going about my day, I get up, get ready, go to work, do what needs doing, chat with the kids, it's just that I just don't care...about anything! What's wrong with me?!?

Are you content, though?

I feel similar to you, but I'm probably older. In the past, I've had great times, feelings galore, passionate sex, brilliant holidays, all that - and now I don't much care in general. BUT I do care a lot about my cat and about animals.

And I'm content with that, I'm not after more.

Jaffaisitacakeorbiscuit · 22/04/2024 00:36

Anhedonia is the term i think you are describing.

Tiedietop · 22/04/2024 00:38

That is exactly how my depression manifested for a good 2-3 years. I wasn't despairing, or suicidal or 'depressed' in the traditional sense - just flat and disconnected and floating along in a sort of dissociative, dispassionate fugue

TextureSeeker · 22/04/2024 00:39

Freakingfreaky · 22/04/2024 00:18

That's why I won't go to the doctors because I know,.on the face of it, it sounds like I'm depressed, but I KNOW I'm not, I've just stopped caring.

I've had shit thrown at me through the years that I've had to fight on my own, maybe it's to do with that?

Show quote history

I kind of feel the same way. I had a childhood of abuse and some pretty awful times in adulthood. I used to feel things but I think it just got too hard so I stopped, became numb to it, both good and bad. It's probably not healthy but I think it's a kind of protective mechanism? If you don't feel anything then the bad bits don't hurt anymore.

Tiedietop · 22/04/2024 00:41

I also didn't think I was depressed at the time I just knew there was something off and assumed it was just something wrong with who I was as a person

sailyclose · 22/04/2024 00:42

This sounds like me, I'm just dialling life in.
Had so many shit things happen to me over the last decade, I'm just worn out with life. I'm just done with life/living, bored of it, I can't see anything working out for me the way I need/want but I'd never hurt myself (got DC) so just got to plod on and hope my life doesn't drag out too much, there doesn't seem to be any point in hoping things will improve, things just get worse. COL/NHS/Schools etc all compounding how shit everything has become for me (and others of course).
You wouldn't know it, I've always been a positive, glass half-full type of person and I still present that to the world.
I suspect it's depression, I'm in denial too, I don't want to go on antidepressants as I don't see the point. It isn't going to change anything.

So no advice from me, apart from maybe get therapy if you can afford it and think about what things used to excite you when you were younger? Could you try and incorporate those things into your life?

Original poster
Freakingfreaky · 22/04/2024 00:45

sailyclose · 22/04/2024 00:42

This sounds like me, I'm just dialling life in.
Had so many shit things happen to me over the last decade, I'm just worn out with life. I'm just done with life/living, bored of it, I can't see anything working out for me the way I need/want but I'd never hurt myself (got DC) so just got to plod on and hope my life doesn't drag out too much, there doesn't seem to be any point in hoping things will improve, things just get worse. COL/NHS/Schools etc all compounding how shit everything has become for me (and others of course).
You wouldn't know it, I've always been a positive, glass half-full type of person and I still present that to the world.
I suspect it's depression, I'm in denial too, I don't want to go on antidepressants as I don't see the point. It isn't going to change anything.

So no advice from me, apart from maybe get therapy if you can afford it and think about what things used to excite you when you were younger? Could you try and incorporate those things into your life?

I'm sorry you're feel that way, sounds like you're going through a rough time

I honestly don't link mine with depression, so I'm not in denial, it's like a poster has said, Ive just given up caring.

OP posts:
Original poster
Freakingfreaky · 22/04/2024 00:49

TextureSeeker · 22/04/2024 00:39

I kind of feel the same way. I had a childhood of abuse and some pretty awful times in adulthood. I used to feel things but I think it just got too hard so I stopped, became numb to it, both good and bad. It's probably not healthy but I think it's a kind of protective mechanism? If you don't feel anything then the bad bits don't hurt anymore.

Show quote history

Maybe that's what it is, I've always felt like the villain in the family, I would speak up if I felt something needed to be said, or id call people out (like the family member that I no longer speak to) but people always stick by the other person, who ever that was, wether that was an ex, a friend, family, so maybe I've just stopped caring about stuff, like, what's the point because it'll probably go against me if I did anyway

OP posts:
Greendino90 · 22/04/2024 04:11

You probably are depressed

newusernamejacket · 22/04/2024 04:19

This might sound weird but I feel like this too, and I think it's related to me being on birth control pills. I take them continuously and I just feel content, and fairly unemotional. I'm not sad, or flat, just not very emotionally invested in things. Whenever I take a break from the pill I feel quite emotional and care more about things. I've decided that maybe the pill makes my hormones always very level and so I'm just not very emotional anymore, neither the highs or the lows.

PaminaMozart · 22/04/2024 04:26

Invest in some counseling with an experienced therapist, @Freakingfreaky

JMSA · 22/04/2024 16:30

Hi OP. I've just read that you're mid-forties. Could you be peri/menopausal?

Original poster
Freakingfreaky · 22/04/2024 18:10

JMSA · 22/04/2024 16:30

Hi OP. I've just read that you're mid-forties. Could you be peri/menopausal?

I suppose that could be an option, but I have felt this way for a long time. Years,in fact

OP posts:
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