Help DH won't wear speedos but going to France!

[letitgoletitgo6]

Taking DCs to Disney land Paris in May. DH has severe body dysmorphia and getting clothes that he will wear is a nightmare as he genuinely hates the way he looks (there's absolutely nothing wrong with the way he looks but it's not as easy as just telling him that!)

So I've recently found out about the law in France about all men and boys having to wear speedos when swimming. We aren't staying at Disney we are staying at the centre parks so we definitely plan on going swimming. He's point blank refusing to wear them which I do completely understand as he will worry about it every hour until we go. However if he doesn't go then non of us can go in as Dc are small and can't swim without help and I can't help both on my own. Is there a speedo alternative that's a bit more body forgiving that I could suggest to him?

Decency! We don’t all want an eyeful.

I agree it is a double standard that women are expected to wear bikinis, and am totally in favour of women being able to wear swimsuits with more coverage too. I usually wear a rash vest in the sea so I don’t have to worry about sunburn on my back.

There are always women in actual clothes in our local pool too, and honestly if that is what it takes for them to get in the pool and swim, good for them.

Ah, yes, complète misunderstanding of the law. It isn’t about what you see. It’s suppposed to be about clothing vs swimwear and it does cover both sexes. So the point was that French towns didn’t want people to bring sand or sweat or chlorine from public pools, back into town, or sit for lunch somewhere in dripping wet bottoms. The point was to keep swimming and clothing completely separate. For this same reason, women are not allowed to wear swimming costumes that look too much like clothing either, so you might not be allowed to wear your rash vest (have you tried at a public pool in France? My understanding is that anything with sleeves is a no). I’m not sure why you think Speedos are so awful; as you’ve stated, women’s swimming costumes are just as revealing, and I guess you didn’t know the law is designed to make sure swimming wear can’t be mistaken for clothing for sexes - no baggy shorts for men, no sleeves for women.

@letitgoletitgo6 Im sorry about your husband’s body dysmorphia as it adds a whole layer of complexity to this situation. Other people have made some great suggestions, and you may want to call Centre Parcs to see if they’re allowed to be more lenient as a private property. If it persists to be a problem, consider finding him a way of covering up so that he enters the pool before you, meaning he takes whatever it is (board shorts) off, hands them to you, and then is covered in the water just a few seconds later. I’m having to that this summer with a friend who hasn’t been able to go swimming in a while because his eyesight is worsened and he needs someone to walk him into the pool, and then take his glasses and bring them back to him when he needs to get out. Some things just take two people.

It’s his choice. In making this choice it might mean he can’t use the pool.,

Amazing and hilarious.

Surely that's just a urban myth?

Have to wear speedos??

Seems like it's actually true.

*Ce dernier est tout simplement un boxer de bain plus long qui couvre toute la cuisse jusqu’au-dessus du genou. Les shorts de bain, c’est-à-dire les modèles de maillots de bain pour homme plus amples qui disposent le plus souvent de poches sont interdits'

https://www.leparisien.fr/guide-shopping/conso/sport/top-5-maillots-de-bain-homme-autorises-a-la-piscine-12-08-2022-25LM2O2AGZED7MDEONEY2EA6FY.php

In brief (ahem) he can wear long swim shorts, but with no pockets.

bonne chance, op

OT - but as an Australian I am just stoked that two of our terms are now internationally known. "Speedos" and "BudgieSmugglers". Budgies ( Budgerigars) are native Australian birds, and Speedo was a company started in Sydney.
Also, not allowing boardies/rashies is a bit odd IMO . They are mainly for comfort and sun protection. No help sorry OP.

No it isn't . Germany,Italy have same rules for a start

I find it odd. I live in a country where people wear their swimwear as outer wear a lot of the time. The concept of showering before getting into the pool is unknown. No one has blown up or died because of this. Chlorine kills pretty much everything in the soup that is a pool. My eyes sting before I even get in, just the fumes coming off the water🤣.

You must not have been to the Gold Coast in Australia. Plenty of men strutting around the shops in their budgie smugglers.

Just came in to say we’ve stayed here and it wasn’t enforced at all. Majority were wearing normal swim shorts and a few peed off in speedos x

Wear speedo under trunks? Take medical letter?

It’s France they have some funny laws

I've finished conducting my survey of "Very Nice People" in this thread, and there seem to be two main types:

"He'll just have to get over it then, won't he!/Just tell him to get over it/It's his choice!!"
Yep, that's how it works, isn't it? They way we support people with their mental health issues is by telling them to just not have them and boom! They're cured forever, Huzzah!!The emotions I experience when reading things like this would be frustration and, and some bewilderment, and thosecould make me feel like giving examples of how hurtful that kind of behaviour is - but we're supposed to build each other up here, not score points or tear each other down.
Just please don't say that mental illness is a choice. I'm pleading with you, begging with tears in my eyes, please do not say that.

"Well I assume swimming is optional?!?!?1?/He doesn't have to go swimming/OEMMGEEOPEE, if you weren't so idle you'd just bifurcate so you could supervise both DC's at once then Frankenstein yourself back together in the changing rooms!"
So which one is it.. did you not read the OP, or did you just not understand it? I mean I'd offer to help you out but at this point I have neither enough patience nor enough crayons to explain this in a way that would make sense to you.
Here's a wild idea: maybe the bloke wants this whole family to have a nice time together in the swimming pool, but also wants to remain in control of his bodily autonomy like everyone else on the planet? It's crazy this modern world we live in, eh?

Honourable mention for the "Zut alors, les rosbifs!!/Bloody onion salesmen cycling around in their stripey blue jumpers!" crowd. This is not the primary school playground, this is not Tommy Robinson's OnlyFans page (Robinson? Robertson? tf ever the wee prick's name is called). Nor is it the British Army between the 1980's and the 2010's - so if I can maintain acceptable standards of behaviour, YOU have no excuse.

That is all.

I’ve got a rash vest and long shorts for diving in hot countries. It’s like a thin wetsuit can be as long as you like and is great at stopping sunburn

Another person here who has been to that CP (with my father and my BIL in tow) and they wore swim shorts……I don’t think the speedo rule was even considered - and tbh I would have died at the sight of my dad in speedos so I’m sure it will be fine for your DH!

Agree with previous poster that I've only ever seen this enforced in municipal pools- and have been to those where it has not. I think you'll be fine.

I been to a lot of campsites and pools in France and it can be enforced quite strictly in some. Short tight trunks are fine (Lycra).

Rishi, is that you?

Surely there can’t be more than one person who is so ignorant about mental illness that they think you just have to power through and get over yourself?

It’s madness! In our family the only items of clothing you’d be likely to find specks of sand in IS our dedicated swimwear as the grains can lodge in the Lycra.

I just think they love the look of a man in Speedos! 😕🤔

Of course it can be a law. It is France; the French have many mad laws, and some very sensible ones.
Why did you book a holiday in France if you knew this would be an issue for your husband, @letitgoletitgo6 ?

its very site specific - as others have said, municipal pools will be more strict than private, touristy sites.

you can’t put lose things on top - it’s not about wearing a pair of speedos, it’s about not wearing lose things that might have been worn outside. It applies to women too. In my experience medical conditions will not exempt you from this. I’ve had skin cancer, I have to stay covered in sunlight and tried to wear a rash vest in a pool with this rule and wasn’t allowed to. We didn’t stay long as a result.

You're staying at center parks?

No problem wearing normal swimmers then - I've been to all the French center parks and there is total variety in swimwear.

We all wear rash vests too, since we burn easy, and not a comment has ever been said.

The French enforce this rule as us Brits are a bit grim and will often walk around all day in shorts getting them dirty and covered in car fumes ave then jump right in the pool in them. It's to keep the water clean and it mates total sense to me to have specific swim wear .

We went to France last year and they allowed shorts in the pool IF they knew you had gotten changed there in the complex but there was a zero tolerance policy to them in the water slide areas. We went to a pirate themed hotel near Disney land last month and they were strict about Lycra swim wear too even though the pool wasn't policed by a life guard.

I wouldn’t want to wear something I’m feeling uncomfortable in either 🤷‍♀️
I like swimming shorts and I know several women who prefer them.
Why should anyone be forced to wear something in public that makes them feel miserable and exposed?