To ask how to make to do lists without getting overwhelmed

[Harara]

I find to do lists useful as an organising tool, not sure I could function without them, but also a bit overwhelming and depressing. I always wind up putting every single aspect of my life on them, so not just work tasks but health, financial, social, people I need to message and laundry I need to do etc. Then the lists get so long that I wind up creating separate micro lists, e.g. everything I want to get done on a particular weekend (rather than just everything I want to get done in general), and inevitably on any list there are tasks I don’t get done and usually particular tasks that end up sitting there for months (usually an email I don’t want to write). So I end up feeling overwhelmed by the number of lists I have as well as the number of tasks on the major list. Is this just how life is, or is there a better way of doing this?

YABU - there is a better way
YANBU - that’s how life is

Why do you need lists? Do you forget stuff? Most people just do stuff either immediately, or as routine, or when it needs doing. Stacking up a list is bound to be stressful.

Could you try a sort of traffic light system with post it notes?

You put the most important task on a red / pink note. Then the next most crucial on an orange one, then a task which is to be less urgently done on a green one. Then at a set time every day reevaluate. Throw the red one away if you've done it. On a good day you might have done the orange one too. If not, move it up to red for the next day. You can decide whether to move the green one to orange or if it's still non urgent.

Then formulate your traffic lights for the next day, thus preventing overwhelm.

Put them under headings - today, this week, this month.
if you need, do next hour, today, this week, this month. Do the next hour list. Breathe.

Do the big list, call it a "life list" or something.

Then separately do a "for now" list. Pick 5-10 varied tasks. EG, 2 easy, 2 a bit more difficult and 1 time consuming task.

Then work on that list only.

Go back to the "life list" when you need more inspiration for your "for now" lists and to tick some things off.

My to-do-list life is just like yours. My desk is littered with the additional post-it notes of things I really really do have to do that day. Many things languish on the primary, typed to-do list, for months, occasionally years (e.g. get bannisters for the top of loft room stairs).

I don't have an answer. I've read various things by efficient people saying how you ought to prioritise things, but it never sinks in. And sometimes you are thwarted by needing other people to do things (e.g. bannisters) and which also cost money, so you then need to get quotes (usually extortionate) so you then think fuck it.

I’m so with you. I then don’t look at the lists as they are too scary.
i am trying to put the tasks in my diary so a planned hour when I willlook at a list.
afriend suggested calling it a tah dah! List as you say tah dah! When you tick it off. Actually I think they said call it a today list but tah dah is more fun.

P.S. One teeny piece of advice I read recently, which has stuck. Don't always follow it, but it stuck. And that is:

Don't put it down, put it away.

Buy a diary and write in it the things you think of to do, on the days they either a) occur to you or b) need to happen. You can colour code different tasks if it helps (e.g. blue for financial, green for health).

Write a very short 'today' list each day, with reference to your diary.

But also - it isn't the system you use that needs attention, it's the underlying cause of the procrastination. Are you struggling to do things you genuinely need to do, or are you writing lists that are full of unnecessary/unachievable things?

I read on here about the alternative list.

Don’t write down what you have to do (as I look at today’s list).
Write down what you have done each time you complete a task. At the end of the day, you may be quite surprised at how productive you really are. I haven’t done it but I can see its point.

I have a notebook for exactly this reason. It has 6 dividers which I’ve put main categories on eg house, garden, life, work… in each of these I have lists for those areas. Then at the front there’s a blank section where I have my current to do list. When that’s looking generally ticked off I start a new page of this, move anything not done onto this list and look through all the sections for inspiration of what else I could add. Then I tear out the old todo list and start working on that one.

I've made it sound more complicated than it is, but it has 100% made life easier. I call it my brain - it stores everything from my brain in so I don’t have to rely on my actual brain to remember anything!

I like lists & I have a diary

Example
I know that my tax return must be done before 30 Jan, so it goes into my diary end Nov, Dec, Jan
This is a MUST DO task, that has financial penalty for missing the deadline

Normal tasks like laundry do not go onto lists

Things like insurance, MOT, tax, birthdays, holidays, meet ups, hobbies go onto the lists

reading with interest as I’m like you @Harara

I sometimes find lists from years ago that haven’t been completed still!

I haven’t found a foolproof system. I do write lists on my phone. There’s an app called Errands which was great for awhile. But think I’m a more visual must see it to remember it.

i like the post it idea from pp. I might try that.

My mother was the queen of list when we were going on holiday.

She had one of those shorthand pads, the first page was a list of her lists.

Then each page was a different list, so name of child and a list of the clothes they needed.

A list of food to buy (we usually went self catering).

A list of documents and tickets.

You get the idea.

Sorry pressed post too soon

I tend to use a diary, actually it is a filofax so I can put different paper in for different things.

i need to write a list every evening for the following day. There is just too much to remember otherwise. I am a carer for a family member and the financial provider for my family and I manage everything in our lives by necessity I could not survive without my lists as they capture all the thoughts and responsibilities which are swirling around in my head.

You sound as if you would benefit from a bullet journal. The video here explains the basics but you can adjust it to whatever works for you. I don't do the month or day list but rather a weekly list.

I do a big ‘brain dump’ list which is all the swirling everything I need to do. To be honest, I rarely ever look back on it, it’s just a process of getting it out of my head when I feel overwhelmed. I dont technically need this list as I know for example I need to finish painting the kitchen because every time I go in the kitchen I see the wall.

for my day to day things I need to remember, I use a single list. Only things that are, in principle, achievable go on there. I usually have one or two bits of life admin that I tick off each day. Anything outside of this immediate week goes on the calendar.
Anything more than a couple of things a day or things that will take hours are pointless going on this list because I won’t do them. I have a weekend list sometimes for if I need longer jobs.

I did do a total house overhaul list, broke everything down into small jobs and ticked off 2/3 every week for the start of the year, I got loads done. I’m procrastinating the kitchen wall at the moment which has blocked the list…. But that list worked really well. Again though, only things that are actually manageable can go on there. Hours of gardening or painting is pointless going on there because I know I need to do it but I’m just not going to make/find/have time to do it.

for work I use OneNote and have a massive daily/weekly list and wish list, but this is in part because my line manager is incredibly overwhelmed and disorganised and procrastinates terribly.

Visualise your lists as neat organised drawers, everything folded and easy to access and find. Once they turn into massive heaps of disorganised junk, crammed into the kitchen top drawer… well that’s when you need to tip them all out and re arrange everything. Otherwise the lists become another chore in their own way.

Use the Trello app.

Try the Eisenhower Matrix. You have reminded me to start using this again! It used to work really well for me.

Have a grid. Categorise your tasks ruthlessly:
Are they important or not important? Urgent or not urgent?
Urgent needs to be done today - so have a shower, feed the kids.
Feed the kids is important/urgent ...
having a shower, less so (urgent/ not important) really because you can just pop some deodorant on and make do if it's just for a day.
Cancelling eg a subscription you don't want is important but not urgent... if you don't do it today it doesn't matter.
Not important/not urgent is cleaning the back of the kitchen cupboard - no harm will come if it's left.
I feel so much more organised having categorised this way.
The key is to tick items off from each section each day.
Urgent/important should be finished each day... so think carefully about what you put there!

You can’t always ‘delete’ things unfortunately but can schedule them for later!

Just do them electronically. You can categorise them, they have built in breakdowns, you can tie them into your diary and they will ping you a reminder if you need it. You can also set recurring tasks, which saves a lot of time and error, for instance annual tasks such as insurance, MOT etc can be set to pop up in time to get them sorted.

I have a habit of adding things to my To Do list that I’ve done that wasn’t on my list to feel productive 🙃

A cross through and a ✅ very satisfying

I have a desk diary on the kitchen top. Rather than make endless lists, I just write down what needs doing on specific days, so basically planning the week/month ahead by writing stuff on the relevant page. Eg I always go shopping on a Friday, so I write my shopping list on the Friday page. I have a permanent list of annual renewals, i.e. road tax, insurance, sky/virgin/phone contract end dates, etc., so I write them in the relevant month at the start of the year when I get a new diary. By writing things down on the day they need to be done, I can happily forget about them. I only need to write them down once rather than constantly re-writing lists and putting things on a new list when they weren't done on the previous one. Mindspace is much less cluttered when you can write something down and forget it, rather than forever looking up and down lists. Looking at a new day in the diary and seeing only 1 or 2 things to do is a lot easier on the mind and stress levels than looking at a long list of things to do, many of which don't actually need doing that day at all! When it comes to shopping day, I simply take a photo of the diary page with my phone! If I'm particularly bored or have time on my hands one day, I'll flick a page or two in the diary to see if there's anything I could be doing sooner. Looking at the "bullet journal" link above, my diary works pretty much the same way. I just prioritise things by putting them on different days in the diary - the less urgent get written in a few days behind the more urgent.