Hi,
DH and I have agreed to get our 2 metre back fence replaced. It is 20 years old, and falling to bits. There is a what we believe to be shared fence, inbetween us and our neighbour. This is also 20 years old, and is rotten in need of a replacement; it is 4 foot high with gaps. It needs replaced regardless which DH has agreed with. We are willing to pay all costs and replace it ourselves. We want it the same height as the back to match, and I also value privacy in the back garden.
The issue is DH is very awkward about running it by the neighbours. He has shouted at me this morning saying "it's not you that has to talk to them," and saying he wants to offer wood from our old shed to soften the blow. We're the ones offering to replace the fence in the first place, I disagree with this and told him it is over the top. He then said if they have an issue, we can negotiate, I told dh I want it the same height as the back if going to pay for it, and negotiate what. He then said he wouldn't be asking today, and told me "you ask them then!" He jas said he won't ask them on his day off work and stormed off. He is now outside hammering at the back fence fixing a post. The issue is we are supposed to get an estimate next week for the work, and need the permission before that.
For context DH works in a high up job, and is used to talking to a lot of people. I'm a SAHM with uncontrolled epilepsy that I'm currently taking strong medication for, which i'm suffering from some unpleasant side effects. My confidence isn't great, if I can get epilepsy under control I plan on going back to work and building my confidence. DH has exclaimed he is anxious too.
AIBU to think DH should have a word, and stop burying his head in the sand? I realise it can be awkward, but we're not asking them for any money. One of my parents passed away 6 months ago, and some money they left me will pay for it entirely.
I just feel like DH is making this whole thing more difficult than it needs to be.
AIBU? If I am, I will take any feedback on board.