Therapist keeps asking for photographs?

[RhapsodyinBlue2]

I started therapy three years ago, after my husband died, and my therapist has always been there for me, which I really appreciate. But she regularly asks for photographs, for example, of my children. And now I have started a new relationship, very early days, and stirring up a lot of emotions for me, although he is genuinely lovely and caring - and she keeps asking for a photograph of him. He is a very private person and I am not really comfortable at sharing a photo and I just say I idon't have one - but also thinking is this normal?

This seems inappropriate and completely unnecessary so I would ask them for their reasoning via email ( for evidence) and then consider reporting to professional body.

I've had a couple of therapists and it tends to be patient led, so If I want to show them photos or anything else I can but they'd not ask and i have used some different techniques like visualisation or drawing as I struggle to understand and to communicate how I feel. I'd perhaps understand if they'd asked you to bring in a photo or belonging of your choice from period like childhood / marriage etc that felt would help open further discussion but they'd explain why it maybe helpful and not push further if didn't appear to engage with idea.

Have you asked her why? Did you give her pictures of your children?

Change therapist as this one has poor boundaries

Totally inappropriate. She is either unprofessional or badly trained. Either way I would not be seeing her any more.

It's not for you to solve her inability to concentrate on the therapy. I've had a ton of therapy and am a therapist,I've never been asked for a photo or asked someone for a photo. She should be concentrating on you.

Thank you for your frank replies. I think I probably do need to change or end therapy, but she got me through a very rough patch so I do feel some loyalty.

She wants to see a photo (ie you show her quickly on your phone) or she wants you to actually send her a photo for her to keep?

Both are weird, but if it’s the second one that is so inappropriate I’d be finding a new therapist.

I’m a therapist—people sometimes want to share photos with me and if I think that is useful to them I might agree to look. Sometimes people want to process something and want to use the photo as a memory aid or jumping off point. But I would never ask to see a photo or a picture of a specific person.

Don’t let “loyalty” affect your safety. Think about it this way: you did a good piece of work with her and now you are ready to move on. Sometimes it makes sense to raise the issue (a rupture) snd let the therapist apologize and self correct (repair) but you are not obligated to do that. That makes sense only if you want to continue the therapy.

My therapist asked to see a photo of my little boy at the end of session six. Just out of curiosity and to be friendly AFAIK. She is very highly qualified and experienced.

my therapist has always been there for me

Because you pay her to be. Let go of this misplaced feeling of owing her "loyalty." You don't owe her anything. Her repeatedly asking for pictures is a huge red flag and shows horrible judgment on her part.

No, that's not appropriate IMO at all.

It's very intrusive and putting you under a very odd pressure.

As a seasoned veteran of multiple therapy experiences I agree that this is inappropriate and very unprofessional. If you don't want to report her you needn't (I would!) but do change therapist. And unless she's been doing it for free there's no need for loyalty.

You owe her nothing.
You are not there for her.
This is not a friendship or a two way thing.

WHAT?!!

Major alarm bells. This is not regular practice. If she is registered with BACP or UKCP, this behaviour should be reported to them.

Privacy and respect are the most important tenets of therapy. She should never ask to see photos, let alone repeatedly when you've said no!!

I dread to think what other irregular practices she has been following, while you are grieving and vulnerable.

Look on the BACP website and find yourself a properly qualified therapist x

Does she think you are lying and have fabricated these people?

If a therapist did think this, it would be totally inappropriate to handle it this way.

@blackcatcoven i agree.

I think i would find a photo of some wildly in appropriate looking man and show her it and say that's my darling Roger.

needtoknow.co.uk/2021/11/17/man-dubbed-beautiful-monster-with-piercings-and-body-modifications-has-inked-almost-every-part-of-his-body-including-his-eyeballs-and-the-tip-of-his-penis/

Nope. Not normal.

Very wierd. Have never heard of that and have been to 3 different therapists myself, plus my family and friends have been to others and no one has ever mentioned anything like that

I'd just say that this request seems unusual, why does she need them

That really doesn't make it sound any less weird 😬

There really is no need for some kind if revenge reenactment. Some patients like to have a close working relationship with their therapist—patients often send me pictures of their children or grandchildren after the therapy has finished. I thank them, ooh and aah, and dispose of the pictures or add the communication to the chart as appropriate.

If a patient is uncomfortable with me I wish they would bring it up directly but if they can’t then I hope they fire me so they can find a better therapist who more suits them. I really hope they have the courtesy to tell me they have a problem with me before they report me to the board.

The client asking the therapist to look at photos is one thing. The therapist asking for photos from the client is something quite different.

I'd definitely find another person to talk to.
This is not the therapist you're looking for.

I'm a therapist and I also supervise and train therapists and I have never ever heard of this before in my whole career this is very strange 🙈 I'm sure they're just trying to understand the person better so they can out a face to a name but it is weird. Personally I also feel it over stretches the professional boundary for therapy 😵‍💫