Holidays with grandparents

[TiaBow]

Talking to a friend today and jokingly asked how she could afford so many holidays (4 a year, 2 haven, 1 centre parcs and usually somewhere abroad like centre parcs/euro camp). They aren't high earners so while I was joking I was also curious.

She told me that

• Her parents take them to Haven in the October holidays every year
• Her husbands parents take them to centre parcs in the February holidays and her husbands nana always pays for their flights for the summer holiday.

She went on to say she thought everyone went on holiday with grandparents and her childhood was the same.

In your circle is this normal? AIBU to think this absolutely isn't normal and if anything puts them in a tiny minority?

Not normal for me at all.
Although I have known people who have had generous relatives who pay for lots of things.
I suppose these ones feel holidays are important and want to spend time together.

As a child, we went on holidays with my grandparents every 2 years. (My parents were immigrants and we went back to their country of birth). As adults, we continued to holiday with my parents every 2 years, returning to the same place. It's very beautiful, we had a family house to stay in and the extended family would all return at the same time.

I very much hope our kids will want to come on holiday with us as adults. I do however think there is an art to making these kind of holidays happy and relaxing for everyone. (I have also been on holidays with my in laws and that didn't really work so it wasn't repeated.)

In our case we’ve taken the grandparents and subsidised their holidays eg we paid for the accommodation and hire car, they paid for their flights.

We’ll probably take our DC and future DGC on holiday, so we’ll end up having paid out both ways …

We took DF on holiday (UK) for several years after he was widowed. He paid towards the holiday but didn't pay the whole thing. A couple of years we added widowed FIL too. Worked well, the two grandfathers moved at small children pace, were quite happy to participate on castle and dam building on the beach, children were quite happy to explore remains of WWII radar look-out post and similar things.

I remember my grandparents having the adjacent caravan to us on childhood holidays. And taking DH and DS1 to same caravan site when my parents were there.

Key in our case is that grandparent generation were able to amuse themselves so although we tended to go off somewhere with them every day, we weren't tied to them all day.

As children we sometimes went on holiday with grandpatenrs. It wasn't a regular thing, but I can remember at least 2 or 3 occasions, one of them abroad. It was lovely. Very fond memories. We have been a few times with our own children and my parents or in-laws too. I love big family holidays.

Growing up we went on holiday every two years most uk a couple abroad.

Once my kids turned 18 I couldn't afford to continue to pay for them so they still come but pay for themselves.

As a child I never went on any holidays with my GP.

As a parent myself now it wouldn’t even be considered for GP to go on holiday with DC on their own or indeed with me and DH as well. I know some people like the big extended family holidays but it is my idea of hell. I’d rather not go on holiday if that was the only option.

I take the grandparents on holiday.

My mum was a single mum and her mother widowed so we always went away with granny and she paid. Often various aunts cousins etc would come too. Was perfectly normal for our family.

Never went on holiday with my grandparents. There were around 17 grandchildren, though. Didn't see my dad's parents. We don't have a holiday with my parents and they have never paid for us to go on holiday.

It’s not how it is in my family but I think that it’s quite common for the grandparents to pay for a holiday that they go on with their DC and young grandchildren. Something family friendly. A holiday though. Your friend is really lucky.

I am the grandparent. I sometimes go on hols in UK with one of my DDs and family - I try and be a help (babysitting etc.) and pay my share. I have made it clear that I do not consider that having done it before a precedent is set and I expect always to be asked. They go abroad without me - that's a fine of course.

I paid for a big all-family holiday abroad after my OH died - a sort of present from Grandpa.

When I was young, we went on holiday to my grandparents as they lived by the sea. They'd also come away with us in the UK but not abroad (also auntie and cousins). My DH used to go on hols to paternal grandparents (UK) and holiday abroad with maternal grandparents (wealthy but immigrants so they'd go back to home but also travel extensively in Europe).

We have had holidays with both sets of grandparents with kids, more with my parents as they have a timeshare in Europe we could all go to every year). GP paid for accommodation and food (esp when kids little) and we'd pay for flights / ferry.

Going on holiday with GP def meant we had more hols when kids were young than would otherwise have done and i'm infinitely grateful. It also gave us a break on hols / extra pair of hands. We both have lovely parents though and can see why it would be others idea of hell

Of course she doesn't think everyone went on holiday with their grandparents, she obviously just means it's not that unusual.

We never went with mine because they were very elderly by the time I was born, but I know they'd taken my cousins on holidays.

And my parents took their grandchildren on a few caravan holidays too.

And whenever I stay in a caravan, there are tonnes of caravan owners with their grandchildren.

I’m going to have to ask my mother why we never went on holiday with her parents when I was a child. It would’ve been really nice.

My family didn’t take grandparents when I was a child. With DH and DCs we’ve been in the odd weekend away with grandparents but not main holidays, I couldn’t cope with that. I don’t enjoy holidaying with others as it just complicates things and I don’t want to compromise on what we choose to do with our holiday.

Normal for us. When my DC were young we would go away with one or other set of GPs for big and small breaks. Not always, but more often than not a set of GPs would be along. Now DC are adults we tend as an extended family for someone to say I fancy this place or that and for those who want to go to go. Sometimes this may be all of us, sometimes a few. Everyone pays for themselves though!

We do a week away with Grandson each year or maybe a couple of Monday to Fridays. I remember spending a large part of the summer holidays with grandparents at their caravan. My own children went to stay with their Grandad who lived at the coast for a week each year. It is a lovely way to spend time with grandchildren.

Not normal for us. We've had one holiday with my parents and we covered the costs of the accommodation and most of the food.
We often go away with my MIL and we pay for her.

Normal for us. Not every holiday but at least 1 a year with each set of grandparents.

we don’t for various reasons but very common among our MC friendship group with small children.

most summer holidays are funded by GPs as even when you are a high earner, money is tight with full time childcare and big mortgages. It also means the parents get a break and GPS get time with the kids.

Whilst it is not normal for us I think it was fairly normal amongst the families my son went to school with and my closest friend's family. Not that the grandparents paid completely for many but the parents shared the cost e.g. center parcs. I know a couple had holidays paid for them that the grandparent's didn't also go on - and that is just the ones I know about.

We tried it with DH's parents once but it just made it more expensive and more work for us (it was clear we were expected to pay for everything including a bigger cottage so they could come and wait on them). Never again.

Also very common amongst my working class family and friends.

I remember my parents saving newspaper tokens to take the grandkids on cheap caravan holidays, which they loved.

Don't do that please. That's unfair

Most (of course not all) grandparents are wealthier than their adult children and families and have fewer costs (paid off mortgages no childcare costs etc) so it's quite common in my experience.