**TW SEXUAL ABUSE** To still be think about episode 4 of Baby Reindeer?

[Glass113]

I started watching Baby Reindeer the other night but actually had to turn it off during episode 4 as it was just so awful.

I don't know if I can go back to it. Has anybody finished it?

AIBU to say its stuck with me and I'm still thinking about it.

Oh God it was shocking!

Yes, it is definitely worth finishing and nothing else quite that horrific happens. Episode 4 was a really difficult watch but overall its amazing tv.

I did manage to see it through to the end but I had to skip most of episode 4. It was so awful and I couldn't watch it. What I found almost more shocking was what happens in a later episode though. I won't say what it was, in case you do continue with it, but it made me lose sympathy with the main character (the comedian) and I wished I hadn't invested so much time in it.

It’s very harrowing but that’s the point
to see the grooming happen and his feelings around it - the series is very well done and it’s not exploitative at all

What shocked me the most was the guy who plays Donny also wrote it. He wrote it based on a true story. His own. So, he's acting out the abuse that he endured. That's powerful.

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2024/apr/18/i-was-severely-stalked-and-severely-abused-richard-gadd-on-the-true-story-behind-baby-reindeer

I stopped watching at the start of episode 2 when he said he went on a trans dating site!

Lots of discussion about it all here -

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/telly_addicts/5049202-baby-reindeer-netflix?page=1

Which bit? I watched it all yesterday and can't think of what you mean. Clue?

I did get sidetracked by the trans dating thing wondering if Terry had man parts still.

@LeaveTheClocksAlone It was something he does whilst thinking about Martha and then something he does with Martha. I found it all a bit disturbing.

@RaininSummer I wondered that too!

Are you referring to him masturbating over her? The sex scene with her is all in his head.

I didn't think episode 4 was that graphic but it was disturbing & took a very dark turn. I knew from the first few scenes where it was going. OH even commented "where's Martha when you need her?"

Your loss. It’s a great series and really well done.

And I really liked Teri.

Why??? What a weird comment

the lesson I took from it is that empathy without boundaries is a pathological form of self harm.

No way! I didn't know this. Amazing acting by all. I loved Teri and wanted them to have a happy ending

@Runki I felt the same. It was really hard to watch that after feeling sympathy for him but I think it might be almost a masochistic symptom of the abuse he’d suffered, perhaps?

I think you have to understand the impact abuse can have to understand his actions. It can be come its own weird form of validation. It’s difficult to explain but I was abused and could relate even though it seems to make no sense it does when you’re messed up

Quite sad that that’s the one thing you chose to pick up on.

@WingateAndSlim Ah yes I hadn't thought about it like that. Good point.

@Pigeonqueen Yes, I saw referring to that. I'm so glad you've clarified that the sex was all in his head. I thought it had actually happened! I was so confused. Thank you!

As an abuse survivor I did think how bad can it be?

But no... nope! I turned it off and I won't go back too it too much for me.

Not worth putting yourself through it!

Agreed. I won't be watching it.

Having been through it, I don't find sexual abuse entertaining on any level 🤷🏻‍♀️