Kids sticking up for their dad after separation

[Pinacoladaqueen]

First week of living on my own post divorce and it’s miserable. DD sticking up for dad and she told him I was speaking about him to my mum which caused another huge argument. I’ve now banned ex from coming inside the house.

Honestly feel like walking away from all my kids! They won’t listen to me messing about my life is horrible 😩

Please tell me it gets better?

Don't drag your kids into it.

Why were you talking to your mum about him in earshot of your kids?

She’s going to get on the defensive, especially if it was you that left/ended the relationship.

My dad is an absolute twat and I am closer to my mum than my dad but my mum was the one who acted badly and I get defensive whenever she starts talking shit.

Your kids are going through a lot too and it’s important to remember that you need to either not speak about their dad or only speak in a neutral or positive manner ( he should do the same).

If you need to vent (which is completely normal and healthy) then do it when the kids aren’t around or come on here and get it all out.

Why does your dd need to get defensive about her dad? Are you talking crap about him?

He is their dad and they love him, even if you don't want to be with him any more. They are having to deal with the break up of their home life so it's not surprising they feel sad and angry. They should not have to hear you speaking badly about him to your mum, of course they're going to find this upsetting. Keep calm and reassure them that both parents love them and that they will be able to spend time with you both. Try and avoid them feeling like they are in the middle of you being pulled both ways. This is a tough period in their young lives 😕 so show some compassion and understanding. Have you got a few good friends you can vent to? Out of earshot of the kids obviously!

Don't do it. Don't put dd in that position.