Sister didn’t ring me in hospital

[TheMintHam]

So i ended up being taken to hospital by ambulance after having a severe asthma attack. I’m a single parent and was terrified of 1. Dying as literally couldn’t breathe at one point 2. That I’d been unable to hide it from my little one and was worried I had scared them, and 3. Being admitted for a stretch and not being able to be with little one. Fortunately, i got one DC’s dad’s siblings to look after DC. But I was alone in hospital and really shaken up, crew had told me it was life threatening. i I text my sister telling her that I was in hospital and needed to talk to someone. She text me back saying she was busy with a baby shower and that she might call me later if it’s not too late. This isn’t the first time I feel that she’s been really callous. Last week my friend died and I text her upset in the early hours after I found, her response the next day was that it wasn’t a nice thing to wake up to. I’m really really upset, AIBU?

Totally depends on your relationship with your sister as to what you can expect from her. I don’t see much of mine, we text occasionallY, we each other maybe every two months, maybe less and we get on pretty well - but I wouldn’t dream of texting her in the early hours unless it was an emergency. I think it would be lovely to feel I could - but I have friends for that luckily.
have an honest chat with your sister - it might not have even occurred to her that you’d be upset about it? Is she a less emotionally sensitive person than you?

It’s just an unfortunate fact of life that there are some people that can’t be relied on in trying times (I think deep down I’m one of them myself).

You are not unreasonable to feel upset but at this point it’s probably time to let it go and lean on other friends/family for support.

This is why I no longer bother with my sister.

If friends/family are not there when you need them, I find that I no longer need them in my life a all. Obviously with my sister this occurred over years of her never being there for me, rather than one specific incident.

I'd take a massive step back from yours. Let her do all the messaging and keep yours very neutral. Don't rely on her for anything.

This could be either way, depending on your relationship... But if I'm in hospital and I need to sort childcare and im life or death, I'm ringing people, ringing them conveys importance and urgency. You sent a text saying you needed a chat... you may not have said that but she may have interpreted it as that. She had an event, she got a text, she dismissed it thinking it wasn't urgent. Could be as simple as that.

As for texting her in the middle of the night, no... I have my phone on auto silent overnight, if you want me and its urgent you ring me. A text is "get to it when you get a chance" type communication. It isn't a life or death communication method.

Is she usually callous, is your relationship good? Or is she just not the person you should be leaning on? 🤔

I hope you're feeling OK, losing a friend is heartbreaking, especially when you feel alone. Add illness to that, I hope you're doing OK.

well, she was in the middle of a baby shower? And you only wanted a chat, it wasn't anything life threatening by that point, was it. I don't think many people would leave a baby shower because their sister wanted a chat. Or would text their sister in the middle of the night because of a personal friend's death, maybe if it was a joint relative, but even then I would probably wait until morning. Its could be seen as wanting to race to be the first to spread the gossip, in a way

Gossiping about the death of a friend?! Oh Lordy. That’s a grim way to put it.

I shouldn’t have text her, don’t think I’m being totally unreasonable but more overly sensitive. I was alone and needed support, I don’t have much support and I’m always the one looking after everyone else, so when I’m literally hooked up with a face mask sucking up oxygen I needed someone other than the dr talking to me about lung abnormalities.

It was very very scary.

Also, we don’t have that kind of relationship. I’m really not sure why I text her. I know if the tables were turned I’d drop whatever I was doing and call her. Have done in the past.