Partners drinking

[Hmv98]

my partner drinks 4 nights a week & following a diagnosis of an autoimmune condition I have been told not to drink anymore. I was never a big drinker like him but liked a drink at the weekend. I do at times miss it especially when he drinks at the weekends so I asked him to cut back to 3 nights a week which he did for 2 weeks and went back to 4 nights. He says it’s not his problem. Am I asking too much?

Saying it's not his problem makes him sound like a wanker. You can't impose a arbitrary rule on how often he drinks but he could be a bit kinder. Are you talking 4 benders a week or 4 x 2 beers with dinner?

A bottle of wine each night

Is he generally supportive and kind? Because the 'not my problem' sounds like he isn't. Is it a microcosm of your life, or does he just love drinking and doesn't want to give it up?

If he was a loving caring partner you wouldn't need to ask him to cut back and he wouldn't be using such vile words as not my problem.
Tell me, how is the relationship in general?

4 bottles of wine a week is problem level drinking.

The level of drinking is what we mostly argue about. He’s a very quiet & reserved guy - not a big socialiser or talker. I’m the opposite. He’s kind but I get frustrated as he doesn’t see things from other peoples perspective & I feel like I’m starting to give up on us

Friend of mine doesn't drink, she has things like nosecco and gin 0.0, she wouldn't tell other people to not drink in her presence. You can't control other people's behaviour because you want/need to abstain.

As its the dh you'd expect he may cut back to support you... or he may not, that tells you about what he thinks more of, what you do with that info is another matter...

Well, I think YABU to expect him not to drink because you can't.

However I'd be concerned at him drinking 4 bottles of wine a week. That's a lot and I am not an MNer who barely ever drinks, I drink most weekends but not 4 bottles a week.