To ask what my options are if not nursery?

[NoNursery]

Many settings locally are full until the end of 2025, and the better ones 2026. I wasn’t expecting this, we live in a suburban area of the north. I thought I was organised enquiring during pregnancy. These waitlists mean some children that aren’t even conceived yet won’t have a place when their parents are ready to go back to work … crazy.

I have worked in a number of childcare settings after I left school, and for a number of years until I started my degree and changed career entirely. I can hand on heart say at all but one of them, I don’t think the under 2s get the best deal. It’s a busy, chaotic environment and just a bit much for them when they are so small. It’s a different story entirely for an older toddler and I think from 2.5+ the benefits of nursery can be huge.

I like the idea of a good childminder we trust. More homely environment, less germs and illnesses, and the chance to have a family-type feel and spend the day out and about in the community rather than cooped up inside a nursery building. Also usually cheaper which is a massive win. However, it is trusting one person with your child rather than a team where everyone works together and is accountable.

I’m not 100% happy with any of the options. I know it sounds incredibly PFB but it’s just my personal experience of knowing what nurseries can be like which means I don’t want that for mine until they are older.

I want to stay working, albeit might drop a day and so might DH. It still leaves 3 days to cover though. We do have family nearby who we trust and would probably love to help out if we asked, but it feels cheeky and it is a huge commitment for anyone to take on.

What is your setup and are you happy with it?

I have worked in a number of childcare settings after I left school, and for a number of years until I started my degree and changed career entirely. I can hand on heart say at all but one of them, I don’t think the under 2s get the best deal. It’s a busy, chaotic environment and just a bit much for them when they are so small. It’s a different story entirely for an older toddler and I think from 2.5+ the benefits of nursery can be huge.

and nurseries were also included in your view too presumably for under 2 irrespective of how good the nursery is?

Not sure what you mean. Yes, I don’t like nurseries for children under 2.

so why are you bothered no space at the nurseries if you wouldn’t send your baby under 2 there anyway?

I chose a childminder close to my office. She had 32 years experience. Had been an ofsted area supervisor. Had a lovely clean home and well kept garden.

I took ds to see 6 childminders (he was 2). At the other five he held on to my hand and kept saying mummy can we go? At the one we chose, he walked in, sat down and started playing.

She was lovely. As a single mum, I honestly don't think I'd have coped without her.

Ds stayed there from2 until 4 when he started school.

It wouldn’t be a choice at a really good /outstanding nursery even if I wanted to

We did a small nursery from 12m, think their maximum in a setting something like 12-15 and everyone interacts so LO knows all staff, they do swimming lessons, trips to farms, beach, library's, etc, when looking at other nurseries I really didn't like the put them in a buggy and walk them round the local pond once a day as an outing, and large numbers and the whole room thing. When we first went on the waiting list they could only do 2 of our 3 days so had GP ready to fill the gap as needed.

Friends of ours went for a childminder and didn't appreciate having to arrange their holidays around the childminders so that was a consideration as well.

Our local choices for child minders weren't suitable - complaints via ofsted and poor social media.

My friend hired a nanny and was thinking of an pair.

Some prep schools take children from 2 and you can use the free childcare offer at them.

exactly

so i don’t understand your detail about the nurseries having waiting lists and you had no idea had to reserve a place so far in advance

surely irrelevant to you anyway

Mine goes to forest school 2 days a week, and is looked after grandparents 1 day a week. It works well for us but my DH parents offered and look after my niece on the same day so its lovely for them 😊

My DS went to a childminder and it was exactly as you imagine. Yes there was the issue of her taking holidays but she took 2 weeks in the summer, notified well in advance and 1 at Christmas and that was pretty much it so really we could work around it.
That was 16 years ago though and from what I'm hearing not so many people are going into it now meaning places are limited.
There is the oft suggested nanny share if you know of anyone else who might do that? Maybe one day a week is affordable then GPs for two other days?

I went part time and got a nanny, I wasn't happy with the nurseries I viewed and didn't think they'd suit the temperament of my child at that age. Worked really well for us, he started pre-school just before he turned 3 and is enjoying it. I think he just needed the extra time 1:1 and wasn't ready to go into an institutional setting at such a young age. It's so much nicer being able to send him once potty trained and talking- so he can tell me how his day was. He also never gets sick- even once at pre-school, although that could be because I BF until he was 2.5!

Another PFB here, we did exactly what you've said in that DH has set one of his days off to be during the week and I've compressed full time into 4 days so it was just 3 days we had to sort. We went the childminder route - we just knew she was right when we met her, and we could go and visit as much as we wanted in the months before the start date. I do drop off as soon as she opens and DH works earlies on the 3 days so only there for 6 hours a day but getting loads out of it x

I have two bottle fed kids who are 10 and 6 and have rarely been ill…luck of the draw.