Sexless Marriage

[Jan1863]

My DH (50s) is kind and affectionate, but is no longer interested in sex. It makes me so sad to think I'm never going to have sex again. I miss being touched tenderly so much. I miss being desired. I miss the release and sheer fun of getting f#*&d! I'm considered attractive; people flirt with me quite often. I've never cheated on my H, but perhaps I should?

AIBU in being so unhappy and resentful at the thought of never getting laid again?

It’s a really difficult one. I was in a relationship which was sexless for 5 years. It really does a number on you. It killed my confidence and self esteem and I really missed intimacy. The problem is it’s a really difficult conversation to have. I didn’t want him to have sex with me if he didn’t want to- I wanted to be desired and wanted. You also feel coercive if you say unless things pick up the I’m leaving.

For some reason it isn’t like any other issue in a relationship. Anything else - I’m unhappy, make it better or I leave, this doesn’t work with sex- you can’t put out the ultimatum - because it still won’t give you h the result you want. I actually should have just left years ago because things were never going to improve. It wasn’t the day to day that I found as hard as looking forward to decades of celibacy- I hadn’t signed up for that.

Good luck. I don’t know what the right answer is for you. But what I do know is being trapped in a relationship without intimacy is fucking awful.

💐💐💐💐

No longer interested or an ED issue that he won’t seek help for?

Hi I’m 53 and I have an ex partner who thinks we are in a relationship because he comes to my house every day then we go shopping ,I get dropped off he goes to his house and I mine over the last few years it was just friends with benefits then he had a major operation and ended up with a colostomy bag so the benefits also fizzled out but he still thinks we are in a relationship even though he has his own house he drinks every night and smokes weed I stay alone with my son my other son comes home at weekends ,I am in my house every day myself go to bed every night myself but yet still I feel guilty if I want to even go on a dating site because if I do he usually finds out and then stops talking to me altogether which is really hard as I see him as my friend and living in this area where I have no other friends what should I do I just feel like my life is just wasting away and he’s happy that I just sit here and do nothing with my life I feel I deserve at least some kind of excitement or something it’s been years now

Not at all unreasonable to want the joy of great sex and it's sad to feel undesirable @Jan1863. I had a similar experience and found my way through it, though I'm not keen on telling the world. Feel free to PM if you'd like.

There's a big difference between a sexless marraige where the person with the issue has sought medical advice and tried to resolve the issue and someone who isn't willing for things to change and is ignoring it.

I would leave the latter.