My husband and I argued tonight. He made a joke and it hurt my feelings. I expressed that it hurt my feelings and his reaction was to say I make jokes about him all the time and he doesn't react like this. When I said 'do I upset you when I make these jokes', he says no because he knows I am joking and I should know when he is?
I sensed it was in jest but I am feeling a bit delicate at the moment and it still hurt - he basically said he's sorry that I feel this way...
I do teaching agency work and not a lot has come up recently so I haven't worked a lot in the last few months. I am a mum of 2 so look after my 2 year old a few days a week, and the rest he's at childcare so I can pick up agency work. I also have a school-aged child. So after a busy half term with them both, trying to job hunt for something permanent, do studies, school/nursery runs this week (husband doesn't drive and does shift work so he can only do DC1 after school pick up, which also limits to what work I can apply and look for...another issue), I've just done 3 days work at a school 1:1 with a SEN child which is taxing! Anyway, as I've got a job interview next wednesday (for a job I am pretty sure I can't work around 2 different childcare drop offs/pick ups/husbands early shift work) so I just said I'd be looking forward to a day off - I haven't had any time to myself in the house for weeks! He said "oh you've done 3 days work and now you're ready for a break scoff" - it got my back up a bit and if I wasn't so tired and drained I'd normally laugh, but I am just exhausted. Constantly trying to do my best for the family, look after everyone, fit in work around things and it just hit me hard.
Naturally I tried to explain this but I can't take a joke, and I make jokes all the time at his expense and he doesn't get upset etc etc. Why am I always like this?
Am I over reacting? Do I not do enough to warrant wanting a bit of a break?
There's a few other issues in our relationship, I often wonder if we're better apart. He looks after us financially, does the cooking, helps with cleaning etc but when it comes to our "mental" relationship, I feel he can talk down at me. We usually have a good laugh but lately, I dont know. Having 2 children is hard (1 still doesn't sleep through!) so I know we're both struggling with tiredness and needing breaks.
He's been on a course this week so wasn't needing to leave the house as early. I was getting ready for work, getting the kids up and dressed. Made myself breakfast and took him up some toast & coffee whilst he was home. He didn't help once getting the kids bags ready, getting them dressed, seeing if I needed help... he finally came down "oh I've got to go now" - I said "thanks for helping me with the kids" and he got angry at me. He said "you made me breakfast, ive been having that upstairs whilst I got ready" - I said that was over 20 minutes ago and he just kept saying no it wasnt. I know it was because I did ours both at the same time, had mine and cracked on getting everything ready. Any way, he's swearing at me telling me to f* off, that I'm being unreasonable. Fortunately this doesn't happen often and even when he came home I never got a proper apology despite asking. He really couldn't see why I was irked. We kinda just moved on from it but I don't know... I am just really fed up and sad at the moment and needed to write it down. Sorry