" Old" friend still playing top trumps.

[Moier]

I'm still in touch with some old school friends who live near and we meet for lunch a few times a year.
One such friend l was closer to .. but looking back she was always bossy and a " know it all" also very devious.. when teenagers if l bought a new top from Miss Selfridge she would compliment me .. then go and buy the same top.. but when l said anything..she pretended she didn't realise l had the top.. this happened often.. then it progressed to.. if l bought a new bag.. she had to buy a more expensive one and make a big deal of it..
As we both got married and had kids.. we would keep in touch occasionally via phone or e mail.. she married a GP and if ever l had a medical issue and l told her.. she would say oh let me ask " John " about that ( not his real name" but her John always knew better than my own GP.. l asked her time and time again to stop .. in the end l stopped telling her.
Anyhow we had a big falling out.. over my Grandsons ( she's no Grandkids )..when l told her he's ASD and would only eat certain foods.. she said that was a load of rubbish and as usual she knew best.. e mailed me a load of stuff about ASD ( which l never read..) she used to do this often. I haven't had any contact for 14 years..
To get to my point ( sorry) an old school and close friend of ours ( we'd all go out together)passed away..
I went to the funeral with the friends l still see for lunch.. and she also went..
After the funeral she came up to me " said nice to see you but why on earth are you using a walking stick ?".
I said " because someone l met threw me under a bus and left me for dead.. l broke my hips and pelvis.. my leg my ankle.. 6 ribs.. collar bone .. jaw and l was on life support".
Her response??
" Oh l know how you feel.. l broke my wrist just before Christmas.. it's surprising what you can't do with a pot on Christmas was ruined ".
I was gob smacked..
So were my friends..
One saying she's got worse and more snobby.
She replied " and it is a funeral you know and not one of you is wearing an hat".
She then said " l must go.. long drive and all that.. looked at me and said " you sure know how to pick them" Glad l married a professional.
Why on earth have l let it bother me?
I mean l do see my psychologist regularly.. l will bring this up next time l see him

She definitely needs some therapy. The competitive stuff, the one upmanship, the disapproval. These are not "normal" ways to behave.

Oh my goodness OP I'm so sorry to hear what was done to you that is truly, truly shocking.
The old 'friend'? I totally understand why it's got to you. I hope it passes soon. You've very much had enough pain to last a long time. Best wishes.

I think I'd have laughed in her face and said, OK Hyacinth, whatever you say!

Wow she's certainly very brazen! And stupid!
You did right not having her in your life!

She's not your friend.

Just tell next time you died

Well I suppose the good thing is that she didn't try to one-up you on the accident front.

She sounds unbearable, just be glad you don't have to see her regularly!

I thought you showed an excellent level of self-control not to beat her with your stick.

Sounds like she could do with seeing a psychologist herself, her comment was really messed up & her experience in no way compares to what you have been through.

You made the best decision cutting her out of your life, no one needs friends like that, let her inflict herself on someone else.

You should have fired back “I don’t know how he has put up with you so long” and walked off.

Don't give her any headspace. She's clearly very unhappy and lacks self confidence which is why she feels the need to put other people down all the time.

It's why she copied you as a teenager and why she always has to 'know best'. She's ultimately inadequate.

because someone l met threw me under a bus and left me for dead
This sounds like quite the story, I would be surprised there were no follow-up questions unless she thought it was a joke.

You don't like her, just don't see her outside other funerals, problem solved?

People like this are generally insecure I think. Shame that by your age (grandkids) she never grew to love or accept herself.

But yes, she sounds like a right Hyacinth Bucket.

The ‘I had a broken wrist’ line gave me a giggle 🤭

Well now you remember the reason why you haven't seen her for 14 years! Don't let her get to you, her attitude hasn't done her any favours.

What an attention seeker!

I think you may have to try to brush this one off. The most insecure people usually always come over as the loudest, and seemingly over confident in themselves. She was most likely jealous of you as a teen, chances are that hasn't changed.

Let's hope you don't have to come face to face with her any time again soon.

Sorry to hear about your accident.

Try to console yourself with the knowledge that you don't have to see her very often (if ever again). Can't be much of a life, feeling that need to constantly compete to the point of ridiculousness. I doubt she has any relationships where the other person isn't rather annoyed by her on a regular basis.