To think it's not weird, creepy or disrespectful to go for a walk around a cemetery

[JuvenileBigfoot]

Told a friend I went for a walk in a local cemetery. She thinks it's creepy and disrespectful. I think it's a nice quet place to take a walk.

Admittedly I also like looking at old headstones, but I feel like reading the names and dates is acknowledging that person's life and is not disrespectful.

The cemetery in question is old, and no longer accepts burials but is open to the public. However, I've also walked around open cemeteries.

What do you think? Creepy ot not?

I think it's lovely .. your friend is OTT

We used to live away out in the wilderness, and there was a fabulous old graveyard there with the graves of many people from the local farming community. It was fascinating to see how many of the surnames still existed in our current neighbours.

There was a variation of that verse on one lady's grave. I forget her surname now but her first name was Betty, and I actually laughed out loud the first time I read the inscription - I thought it was pretty punchy for its time, and she sounded like someone I'd get on with! We used to take her a wee bunch of flowers from the garden sometimes, just to show that we appreciated her attitude!

Hers said:

"Remember, friend, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, you will surely be,
So prepare yourself to follow me"!

We love a wander round an old graveyard too. I'm doing my family tree just now and although a lot of my relatives are buried in unmarked graves, particularly the children 😞, we still go and say their names out loud.

Walk with my dogs through ours regularly (we stay well away from any graves and stick to the paths, clear up etc etc). A few years ago we came across a movie being filmed! A real proper one that was in the pictures and everything.

I always say the children's names that I see out loud.

It seems perfectly normal to me, assuming you don't take a shovel with you of course!

We love cemetery walks, they're a place to be peaceful and reflective. I was brought to tears by a little boy once though. His Grandma and Mum were refreshing flowers on his Grandad's grave, and he came forward with a packet of crisps to put on the grave. Mum and Grandma said he always brought his Grandad a packet of his favourite crisps. I don't know why it affected me the way it did, but it was such a lovely gesture.

Its fine i do it every time i past one peaceful.
I always say stop and look for they was once us and we will become them.

Does your place have a heritage centre? Will have census records and other things

Idiot friend. Ltb.

I enjoy walking around local church graveyards - enjoy the flowers and foliage and read the names and dates of those laid to rest there and wonder about their lives
This is a lovely one not far from me where I have a least one long lost relative buried there

I would walk my dog (on lead) round the cemetery as they were scared of other dogs so the park wasn't an option. I think we both appreciated the quiet, calm environment and would often spot wildlife. I find the graves interesting too, the more elaborate designs of the past, the lovely patina of lichen along with reading the names and ages. It would make me sad sometimes in the newer section seeing the faded old Christmas wreath from the last visit. The solar lights people use can make it quite eerie come dusk

If people are walking in cemeteries regularly it will hopefully deter the awful people who damage or steal things from graves.

I too find it interesting and tragic, especially the children and teens/young adults who’ve died too soon. I think it’s respectful to read the inscriptions so they still have some acknowledgement years later.

What I find abhorrent though is people who let their dogs off lead to crap on the graves.

We had this a while back while maintaining our baby DD’s grave (she was stillborn). Woman let her dog off lead when she came in and it came to crap about 6 foot away atop an unmarked child’s grave. She was most put out that we challenged her and said was disgusting as in her words ‘I’m picking it up and they’re gone so they don’t know’. Whether picking it up or not, it’s totally disrespectful especially in front of parents tending their own child’s grave. That really upset me for a while and I hope she was a one off and didn’t let her dog do that again!

Clearly doesn't live in London then? Most of the big ones there are treated like parks almost. The one near where we used to live had an annual fun day/ fete.

Another one that loves them. They're peaceful and it's great to acknowledge the lives that were once lived.

The only one I don't like is Valhalla in NY, just north of NYC. It's also the location of the train crash back in 2015. I don't even know why. Just driving the main road through that one gives me the heeby jeebies.

YANBU

One of the nicest graveyards I’ve seen was in a residential square in a European city. Families walking through, children running round. So nice not to be hidden away somewhere bleak and isolated and sombre. The people who’ve died lived too.

I quite often walk past a couple of churches with graveyards and sometimes pop in to have a rest on a bench and then look at the headstones. They are both rather lovely places especially at this time of year when they are full of wildflowers. Plus I often look at the very old, untended graves and think that those people probably have no living descendants in the area any more and even though I'm a complete stranger, at least I'm acknowledging that they lived a life when I stop by their graves. I live a long way from where any of my ancestors are buried and I like to think that someone also stops and reads their headstones sometimes. (Though maybe that is weird, I don't know!)

I also always read the plates on memorial benches as I walk past them in the park.

I chose to spend my birthday wondering about at Highgate a few years back as it’s so beautiful, calm and essentially a form of history. I plan to visit the others that form part of the Magnificient Seven as they are known. There is also the Crossbones graveyard in London that was for the outcasts of society who wouldn’t be given normal burials such as prostitutes. I don’t find it creepy, I find it remembering those of the past and observing the beautiful sculptures, wondering about the lives of those resting there. As a post above observes they are also teeming with wildlife. On a recent visit to Greyfriars Kirkyard in Edinburgh I learnt that JK Rowling used several of the names on graveyards for the Harry Potter books. On a more local level I often walk the dog through our village one (not in a churchyard), obviously not close to the graves.

Oh I feel so nostalgic for the days when I lived in St Helens. My children and I often met friends at the Cemetery for a walk on summer evenings.

It's not at all disrespectful, I always thought of the lives of the people there.
Our local cemetery isn't as friendly, iyswim!
It's more modern and less atmospheric.

Of course it's not!! Your friend is odd. I used to play in the local cemetery as a child, and so did my mother before me. I think if I were long dead and buried I would like it if people walked past and read my headstone, at least someone would be thinking of me, if only for a brief moment.

My entire town is centered on a group of parks that are linked by pathways and every tree and bench is there in memoriam. It's honestly beautiful and I read all of them, even though a lot of them I know by heart.

I actually do find it weird and a little disrespectful, but I’m aware I’m totally in the minority! My husband’s family are big graveyard walkers and I’ve gotten used to it over the years, but I definitely don’t like it and I hate the idea of someone doing it where my dad is buried. But I think it’s me that’s unreasonable!

HNRTFT but I think it is absolutely the right thing to do . I walk my dog around our local cemetery.Just reading the headstones and thinking briefly about that person is the reason why they are there! I do drag the dog away if she is going to poo or wee too close to the grave!

Ours is full of beautiful tree and wild flowers.
The bluebells are out in force at the moment.

I often do an half hour walk on my lunch break though there.
If it warm they are plenty of benches to sit on.
I don't tend to read the graves though, as find the children ones particularly upsetting.

Not at all. In fact, it’s a lovely contemplative space where you can remember your loved ones.
The graveyard where my parents are buried is a case in point - lovely memories of childhood teachers, friends of my parents and the odd school friend, as well…