Telling my boss I have an interview.

[Poltershighclimb99]

Morning all. This is not really an AIBU but I’m
posting as it’s a lot busier here!

I received an invite for interview yesterday for a new job, I’ve only been in my current job around 10 months, it’s ok, a great team but it’s not a great fit for me, I don’t particularly enjoy it. I found out that the new (possible) job needs to get references before interview so I need to speak to my boss this morning but I’m not sure the best way to word why I’m leaving!!

the new job is closer to home (current job passes through a busy tourist area and can take me between 30-50 minutes to get there). New job is 10 minutes away. It just feels like a rubbish excuse to say it’s the distance.

I like my boss and another member of staff also handed their notice in a few weeks ago so I feel a bit guilty regarding the timing (ridiculous I know!) it’s also frustrating as I may not even get the job but my boss will now know I’m looking!

so I think I should say my circumstances have changed and I’m looking for something closer to home (dh thinks she may ask what the circumstances are)

AIBU to just say it’s the distance…

Can't you ask HR? Normally they provide references and they shouldn't tell your boss if you ask them not to

That's insane that a job requires referrals before an interview.

Why?

I'd push back and say that it's risking the current position you are in. And tell them you'd happily supply them if you are successful.

Otherwise yes just tell the boss the travel is too much.

I’d say no to the new job asking for references before you get a job offer. That’s a risk for you and without your consent they cannot contact your current employer for this very reason (unless it’s an internal role)

I’d use references from a previous job, it’s a bad idea to tell your current boss you’re actively looking for a new role.

There’s no way I would provide references for my current role before an interview.

Give them a reference from your previous role and tell them you will provide a current reference if they offer you the job.

You've only been there 10 months there must be other precious employers you can ask?

Say you'll be happy to get one from your current boss if successful - but in the meantime no.

My friend currently works there (education) she said someone said sonething along the lines of ‘it weeds out people who are not really serious about leaving their current role’.
I have already given my references so I can’t really change it now.
thank you for your reply!

I would not provide permission/details for them to contact current employer. Explain it's a new job and iif unsuccessful you don't want to rock the boat.

I’ve had to give them two - my current and most recent previous.

just tell them the reasons, the travel

You shouldn't need to get a reference before you have an offer. Suffice to say you feel your employer would happily give a good reference if you do leave. Just make an excuse about the interview, sickness or family issues.
Then if you get the job you can say whatever about why your leaving. Distance is a good enough reason. If it's not a good fit for you that's fine also. They aren't going to grill you, why are you ditching us? The other person just left and now you! Blah blah. They won't really care the reasons why that much I'd imagine.

unfortunately it’s non negotiable that they get the references now. It is a bit shit but as my friend works there she had asked them when she joined (a year ago) if she could delay references and they said no (this is education if that makes a difference - suppprt staff)
my boss is really lovely and I don’t feel she would be difficult about it, it’s more that I wanted to avoid her knowing until I was offered something, I like her and I feel guilty about it!!

This is normal in schools - supposedly it’s about safeguarding, but I think it’s just habit! Obviously, they have to take up the references before they formally offer a contract but there’s no actual need for them before interview. For the last few teaching jobs I have applied for I have been able to ask them not to take up references before interview and they have agreed. You could ask and see if they’ll wait.

Sorry, cross-posted with you there.

the annoying thing is I only work 4 days a week and the interview falls on my day off so I would have been fine had it not been for the reference issue.
My boss is lovely, she won’t make life difficult for me if I stay, I just feel awkward and I have no idea what to say as reason for leaving. Distance seems a bit pathetic!

It's pretty standard in education to get references before interview.
Good luck op.

Distance relating to work life balance is a perfect reason. 1 hour less travel per day.

Travel time can use up 2 hours on a bad day. Want to alter work life balance, and make more of your evenings. If pushed - classes you can't commit to due to varying time of travel, improve diet, spend more time with xyx. Dunno if that helps. Work life balance is always a good one. It's not reflective of the current job as such

Depending on how much you desperately want this job, and how desperate you think the school are, you could try saying that you’ll withdraw your application if they won’t wait until after interview… In some schools, for some roles, they are so desperate now that this would work! But it is also a risk that they’d call your bluff so you have to weigh up how much that matters. Unfortunately, this practice has always been the norm in schools so if you’re applying to another school after this one, you’ll likely have the same issue. It’s totally unreasonable but it is the current situation.

I think I’d just tell my boss if I were you, but I totally sympathise with you as I have hated having to do it every time I’ve applied for a new job!

Just say what you have said here. Everyone’s lovely but the reality of the travel is more problematic than you originally anticipated

I guess so, I just know so many people have to commute so much further every day, so 30-50 minutes is maybe not that bad in most people’s eyes. I have to check my sat nav every single day as it’s so unpredictable how long it will take!

Wow agreeing with others, they are being U expecting you to to jeopardise relationships at current workplace before they"ve offered you a job!

That's fine. Other people aren't you and no one can argue with you about work life balance! No one can say how you feel it's wrong

It's education, it's normal.

Dont over think, be factual and see what the new place is like on the day.

You can ask the prospective employer to delay asking your current employer. They could get an initial reference from your old job and only contact your current employer if they intend to offer you a position. I’ve done this.