Dating a new guy - it’s only been a couple of months. He has been single for a while and has built himself a very rich and full life of hobbies and friends to occupy himself otherwise, I suppose. He’s very extroverted and really throws himself into whatever he gives his time and attention to - he has multiple sporting hobbies, he dedicates a lot of time and attention to his job, and has a huge network of friends and acquaintances that he regularly meets for coffees, dinners, drinks etc. He’s currently learning a language and is also on a training course to volunteer for a charity. If a colleague at work is upset or needs help, he’ll take hours out of his day to assist or support. He also has issues sleeping, so needs more sleep than I do. He also usually goes to bed fairly early (but also wakes up much earlier than I do - I’m a night owl whilst he’s a lark).
Here’s my issue - his life is so rich and full that I don’t really feel like my needs regarding attention, texts/calls and time spent together are not being met. From the minute he wakes up, he’s go go go. He doesn’t check his phone at work very much, and if he does it will only be for a couple of minutes, so his texts during the day are fleeting and short. I am fairly understanding about this. However, after work (he leaves at 6/7pm), he’ll usually be off doing some activity or meeting some friend and again, I don’t really get any satisfactory responses to my texts (in fact I feel like he doesn’t read them properly and just skims through them half the time). When we speak on the phone, it’s usually as he’s walking to/from one destination to another (eg from work to an activity; from a hobby to home); or if he is at home, I can tell I’m on speakerphone whilst he cooks/brushes his teeth/showers. I just never feel like he has time for me to give me the kind of depth of attention and time that I want to feel secure in the relationship. I continuously question how interested he is in me as a result.
When we see each other in person, he does dedicate his full time and attention to me, and I don’t question whether he’s interested in me. I feel like his main priority. However, our opportunities for seeing each other in person are also limited. He asked very early on that we avoid meeting on weeknights because our sleeping habits are so misaligned that I would deprive him of sleep and he’d be exhausted for the rest of the week. This is not untrue, but I can cope with the lack of sleep - he can’t. So I feel like I have been relegated to just seeing him on weekends, but this feels unsustainable, as if either one of us has to miss a weekend due to other plans, we go weeks without seeing each other.
Is this a compatibility issue, or am I being unreasonable in my requests for time and attention, in the sense of expecting somebody to give up or deprioritise other activities and things to make a significant amount of time for me?