Is my friend ghosting me or is she just busy?

[UnlimitedCake]

My best friend of over 20 years has suddenly gone very very quiet. Our meet ups have become less and less frequent (we last saw each other in August) and suggestions to meet up have either been cancelled or she last said she couldn’t afford to buy lunch out and could we just meet for a cup of tea, then she cancelled at the last minute. After me arranging, contacting her twice and her cancelling twice I left the ball in her court and nothing!

We would always meet Christmas time to exchange gifts/gifts for our kids and I left it up to her to get in touch.

She is busy trying to sell her house and she home educates her kids. She still likes and comments on my Facebook posts and we’ve messaged about general life stuff.

Our lives are very different and in a lot of ways we are both very different now. Just wondering if I’m being phased out and ghosted?

To be honest it sounds like she's skint, even a cuppa and a bit of cake costs a lot when you're on the bones of your arse, and that would explain the lack of gift exchange too.

Maybe she is busy too, and sometimes life does get in the way especially while home educating, its pretty full on.

I would invite her to do something free, and if she declines then it probably has just drifted for now.

Wait till she's sold her house, congratulate her via text and ask to pop by with a New Home card and gift about 4-6 weeks later. See what she says. If she doesn't sound keen then you're definitely being phased out

If she's still messaging you, you're not being ghosted.

I would mirror her level of availability and interest in order to detach a bit. If she’s like this now, there will be further life stages in which she’s also not available.
Dont ask her about it, just clock it and act accordingly.

She sounds skint and not able to exchange gifts or go for coffee. Are you financially comfortable and she feels awkward telling you?

It’s horrible feeling like your being left out, you could just send a direct message asking if everything is ok?

I behaved like your friend and it was because I was severely depressed -I couldn't stand to see anyone in person. It honestly was never personal towards anyone, I just couldn't function beyond the necessary (and even that was awful). May not be this at all obviously, but it could be a possibility and not just that she's ghosting you.

Sounds as if she can't afford meals out, etc - even a coffee and cake can be £10, or a glass of wine in a pub.
Avoid gift giving - why not invite her round to yours for a coffee - I'd even avoid inviting her for supper, if she's short of cash, you don't want to make her feel obliged to return the favour.
Chatting and asking the root of the problem likely to easier in person.

I think if she was ghosting you she wouldn't be messaging/commenting on your FB posts, so she's perhaps just busy, trying to juggle a few things and not getting round to social stuff. I'd suggest keeping up the contact as it is at the moment (maybe without suggestions to meet up) and giving things a chance to change in time.

We don't know. Ask her.