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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at the couple who commented loudly on how children are much noisier than they used t.o be

45 replies

wolveschick · 31/03/2008 21:45

...and were obviously talking about MY DDs. We were in the supermarket, DD1, 5 saw a Peppa Pig toy and was telling her little sister, 2 about it who was in my trolley. Yes, volume could prob have been turned down a notch but they had just been soooooooo good at lunch out with friends and then visit to clinic for 2 year check. Miserable couple just made the above comment well within my earshot but I am mad with myself for not thinking of a biting retort...any ideas for what I should have said.

OP posts:

seeker · 01/04/2008 08:33

Absolutely - that's the age I'm talking about - 40-50. Satistically most people in that age group don't have young children - and in my experience are the most intolerant of those that do.

seeker · 01/04/2008 08:33

Sorry I meant 40s and 50s - not 40-50

suey2 · 01/04/2008 08:38

I do think that as an older first time mother (i am 37) i was pretty intolerant TBH. Getting on a plane i would always inwardly curse if i was anywhere near a baby. Coming back from my honeymoon in front of 3 kids, constant chair kicking etc and behind 2 others on an overnight flight from south america it was hideous. Now i think, poor sods. BUT, i do think that when you are a parent you get an internal volume control which ignores noisy happy sounds and alerts when something is not right. Certainly children are a lot quieter to me now (DD is 3 months old) than before DD arrived

Fillyjonk · 01/04/2008 08:39

how can people tell if kids are noisier than they were?

is someone testing the decibels emitted by the average child over a 24 hour period and comparing them?

Could this not just be a case of people getting old

WaynettaSlob · 01/04/2008 08:51

Personally I wouldn't give them the pleasure of getting visibly wound up about it.
I may have inwardly seethed but would have shugged my shoulders and said "don't you wish they came with a volume dial" and grinned and walked off.

MarshaKlein · 01/04/2008 08:56

Look them straight in the eye, smile sweetly and say 'I'm so sorry, I don't remember asking you for your opinion...'

MarshaKlein · 01/04/2008 08:57

On the other hand 'shut it you twats' (as Boobalina says) would equally suffice.

Janni · 01/04/2008 09:09

Barcodezebra - that was a really nice thing you did. I always try to smile at people struggling with their kids on the bus and get my older kids to see if they can make the toddlers smile by doing peekaboo or something.

OrmIrian · 01/04/2008 09:09

suey2 - I was just like that pre-kids. Totally intolerant. It took a few years of my friends having children to soften me up a little, and then of course having my own made the real difference. I'm hoping that the tolerance remains even when mine are grown and gone.

cory · 01/04/2008 10:15

I think it's definitely childless people of my generation that are the most intolerant. The baby-boomers. Because, let's face it, we were probably the first generation to be thoroughly spoilt, to not have to give way to our elders at all times, to not have our young lives shaped by the need for deference. To have a pretty comfortable life. And now, we still expect the world to shape itself to our needs. Unless, of course, we are foolish enough to go and reproduce...

lollipopmother · 01/04/2008 14:09

People with children are used to a certain level of noise, people without children, or who haven't had youngsters for a very long time are not used to it, and get pissed off.

I personally don't want to have to listen to screaming kids when I'm doing shopping, or when i'm on the plane or bus, I don't think that makes me stuck up or miserable, I just don't appreciate screaming kids, like most people hate to hear over-loud music being played by someone with an Ipod/music player. However I wouldn't actually tut at it or make a comment, just in an ideal world kids would come with a volume control!

My partner really REALLY doesn't like screaming kids, he's going to have one hell of a shock in September when our first is born

kerryk · 01/04/2008 14:18

if they were upset by your daughter talking loudly then i would hate to think what they would have made of my daughter in the huge (busy) tesco express yesterday.

we told her she could have a hula hoop when we first went in and she spend the next 45 mins hula hooping around the shop, i lost count of the amount of people who she bumped/tripped up with the thing.

luckily everyone in there yesterday seemed to be in a good humour and were laughing at her, i was but had i taken the thing away from her it would have resulted in ww3 and i would have been

Oliveoil · 01/04/2008 14:20

weeel, I think loud children in the supermarket are annoying so I tell my two to keep it down

or bribe them with crisps

Oliveoil · 01/04/2008 14:21

now that is out of order I think, kerryk, with the hula

tripping people up and banging into them? that would annoy tbh

kerryk · 01/04/2008 14:33

thats exactley what i was thinking as well, but it seemed to be only me who thought that. as i said everyone else was commenting on how sweet she was and laughing at her.

i dont mean she was tripping them up as in they were lying flat out on the floor btw, more they were doing a little jump to get out her way.

lollipopmother · 01/04/2008 14:43

Sometimes I do wonder what behaviour is expected from kids in a supermarket. So often I've seen kids running full-pelt around the store on their own. I can only assume that their parents know where they are by following the loud screaming! I'm not sure that this is really right, surely it's A. not safe and B. not considerate to others, but is this considered ok by parents or is it just one or two parents letting their kids get away with what I believe is unacceptable behaviour? Parents can't exactly stop kids talking loudly, they could maybe point out that their voice has reached the same decibels as U2's most recent concert, but there's not much else that can be done in that respect, but surely parents should have hold of their children when inside, or have them in the trolly seat??

seeker · 01/04/2008 21:34

I have to say I would have stopped the hulahooping. It doesn't matter that the other people didn't mind - next time they might and she won't understand why this time she can't do it. Which is unfair and confusing for her.

Fillyjonk · 02/04/2008 07:03

they can't always go in the trolley seat because sometimes people have more than one young child, there are a VERY limited number of double seated trolleys and god help those of us with three

I can't get excited about kids noise in a supermarket really. Kids make a noise. Supermarkets aren't where I go to relax, I get in, get out, hoping everyone is still alive by the end. There is nowhere in most supermarkets to play so for most kids, they have been driven there, are pushed around in a trolley, then drive back. Its unsuprising they get noisy. but like I say, I don't care. kids' noise doesn't bother me but even if it did-its a supermarket. fgs.

MadameCh0let · 02/04/2008 10:09

When somebody tsks me or the children for what I consider a very minor offence, I always say in a saccharine sweet voice, "oh I so sorry, Am I bothering you ?

OrmIrian · 02/04/2008 13:24

I was once complimented on the behaviour of my children on a flight to Portugal. By an older middle-aged couple. They were quite good. But I think the compliment was mainly due to relief that they didn't trash the place. The collective holding of breath amongst the perma-tanned oldies when DH and I got on the plane (out of holiday season too )with a 3yr old and a baby was quite noticeable .

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