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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

with dh when he always piles in on my time off!!

11 replies

peacelily · 31/03/2008 14:34

dd is asleep upstairs, friend who i hardly ever see is coming round with her dd, when my dd wakes up we're off to soft play and nice coffee for me and friend.

Just had a text from dh, "I'm finishing in 30 mins what you up to?". He ALWAYS does this!!! If I've got a day off he arranged to work from home/finish early etc. I appreciate he means well but we've just been away for a weeks holiday the 3 of us so it's not like he hasn't had a chance to spend time with us!If I go on the computer it's "how long are you going to be?" "aren't you interested in us?" etc. etc.

We had a HUGE row about this very issue whe we got back from holiday just because I picked up a magazine for half ah hour. Ended up me screaming at him to give me some space. Then he gets all cross and offended like a child.

Advice and opinions please!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
peacelily · 31/03/2008 14:35

sorry first part of thread titile should read "for being upset"

OP posts:
TwoToTango · 31/03/2008 15:02

No YANBU. I get annoyed about the same sort of thing. We go away for long weekend/weeks hol and then I very often book an extra day off so me and DS can go out for the day with a friend a don't see very often and her DS. If DP suddenly decides to have the day off/finish early he is suprised I have something planned and gets a bit annoyed that we don't want to go out for the day with him.

It doesn't happen very often but I do get annoyed - like you say its nice to catch up with friends and annual leave days are precious so I always plan things to do on mine. Half the trouble is he doesn't like to book days off in advance, just leaves it till the last minute.

I just stick to my guns and do what I'd planned and tell him that he knew what I was doing and if he wanted to do something he should have let me know earlier.

conniedescending · 31/03/2008 15:12

men can't win sometimes. They're either being moaned at for working too hard and not spending time with the family or being moaned at for wanting to.

Just tell him what you have planned and he can either choose to go with you or stay home.

Jackstini · 31/03/2008 15:19

Go out now & text friend to meet up.
Text him & tell him you are out with a friend and if he wants to get a nice dinner on you can have a romantic evening later

TwoToTango · 31/03/2008 16:12

I just wish they'd plan things in advance or not complain when other people do

Tommy · 31/03/2008 16:22

agree - they can't win can they?! Mine is a bit like this - doesn't talk to me all evening until the one programme I've been wanting to wacth comes on and then decides to have a chat - drives me crazy!

AllFallDown · 31/03/2008 16:31

Ooooh ... I think YANBU, strictly speaking. But imagine how you'd feel if your DH had a day off, and you called him to say you'd be coming home early and you could do something together, only for him to tell you he'd rather be alone. I've not yet met the woman who'd take that in a spirit of friendly advice

Original poster
peacelily · 31/03/2008 19:38

Hi, have just come back from being out. myself and friend went to the soft play with dcs then to the pub next door for eats. Dh joined us later on, his choice. I just told him to do whatever he fancied and he opted to join us later so perfect!

vv true what previous poster has said to though

OP posts:
quarkee · 31/03/2008 19:56

Tommy - DH does exactly the same thing - drives me insane too - we got Sky Plus and now I press pause until he's finished - seems to drive the message home Glad you had a good time PL

clam · 31/03/2008 20:15

DH is still miffed with me for similar episode on Saturday. I wanted some "me" time. DCs were both out and I de-camped upstairs to the bedroom with the paper. In he comes..... well, at least I didn't actually say "bugger off and leave me alone," but I think the sentiment might have got through. He's "hurt," but he's going to have to get over it, because I don't think there's a human being alive who doesn't need some space from time to time and I'm not going to apologise for that.

2littlemonkeys · 01/04/2008 10:46

My dh also does this, i work 2 days a week, and dh is self employed. Many a time i have plans for the day, and he will come down stairs saying how he has decided to take the day off and what should we do. Throwing my plans aside, we are lucky in a way, but i like to plan a head maybe if he told me the week before then we could go to the zoo or somthing xx

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