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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not opt for term time only childcare?

40 replies

9mon · 18/04/2024 08:47

I work 3 days a week in a school so in school holidays I get a bit of a break.

We are struggling a bit for money and could save by opting for term time only. I know I should go for this but six weeks of both children and absolutely no respite makes me go a bit cold.

Everyone’s going to tell me I’m BU and just get on with it aren’t they? 😭

OP posts:
Stressedoutforever · 18/04/2024 12:17

I'm a teacher, and have several friends who are teachers and none of us use term time only nursery! Throws them out of routine and means I would never get a break whereas friends who work all year can book the odd AL day while their children are at nursery

9mon · 18/04/2024 12:21

Well, he doesn’t really. He will take the odd day but most days are family holidays. We won’t be having one this year due to money but next year we will.

But keeping them fed and entertained isn’t cheap!

OP posts:
Weallnamechangesometimes · 18/04/2024 12:32

Unless you cannot afford it I wouldn't be starting a 11.5 month old for 3 weeks to then have a 6 week break before having to resettle them. On that basis I would keep them full time for at least this summer then I would be reassesing after Xmas.

HowDoYouSolveAProblemLikeMyRear · 18/04/2024 12:41

There are plenty of free or almost free activities to do with young children. But even most of the less cheap ones are cheaper than childcare!

If you make most of the cooking/food prep a family activity, and get the children involved in a fifteen minute session of housework every day, that might help. Well, not necessarily for the first couple of weeks, but after that!

The cooking will take longer, but my 14 month and 3 year old children can do some basic tasks that keep them happy while I cook, like stirring something, or transferring peelings into the compost container.

For housework, my 14m loves loading washing into the machine and I then use the time to hang up wet washing or food dry laundry. My 3y can wipe counters with a damp cloth or use a dustpan and brush. Their help is minimal, sure, but it trains them and entertains them.

Some of our favourite regular days out include local picnics (even in the rain) with scrambling over logs or paddling in streams (free if we walk a mile or two) and going to the beach in all weathers (50 minute drive is the only expense).

Mine are really energetic, especially my eldest, but lots of running around outside and plenty of training them in good habits are starting to pay dividends, and I'd be sad to miss out on spending time with them.

minipie · 18/04/2024 12:44

Agree that settling your DD and then 6 weeks off isn’t ideal. Could you use built up annual leave to cover those 3 weeks before summer (or you could use unpaid parental leave but think it has to be taken in full weeks not days so not very cost effective). That way no settling needed till Sep when she will be older.

Appreciate that gives you even longer with both kids though!

similarminimer · 18/04/2024 12:48

How much is the difference in cost ? I would be very tempted to do it this summer whilst they cant entertain themselves - and give yourself some time off and 1:1 with the older kne - you'll really appreciate it. Think of it as the cost of a nice holiday - but having a staycation instead?

Vod · 18/04/2024 12:51

9mon · 18/04/2024 10:40

(I’m very much at the weighing up stage)

The advantages are obviously financial, get to spend more time with them.

The drawbacks are

Unsettling for the little one

Housework - it really is very very hard to keep on top of everything when I have them both. The little one sleeps for a couple of hours in the afternoon and I generally do my cleaning then but it’s hard when I have them both as her naps are less predictable as she cat naps in the car and pram a lot.

Things I usually do in the holidays like meet up with friends of mine who live a couple of hours away, hairdresser, dentist, are out.

While I’ll save money on childcare I will have to keep them entertained (they are NOT chill out in our pjs days sort of kids 😆)

I won’t get any one to one time with DS

So … I still don’t know!

How much are you likely to spend on keeping them entertained?

By this I don't mean what is the lowest possible budget one could possibly do it on. I mean what are you realistically likely to do, knowing yourself and your kids. Are you going to have the discipline to go to the park yet again or are you more of a sod it type.

9mon · 18/04/2024 12:59

I’ve never mastered successfully doing housework with children @HowDoYouSolveAProblemLikeMyRear . I know some do! I can do bits around ds and I can get some done while dd naps. But both of them defeat me Grin

It’s true many activities are free and cheap but getting to them isn’t. And for seven days a week I will need to vary things up a bit.

I don’t get any annual leave @minipie as I teach: it’s all school holidays.

The cost difference - I would save around £1000 for this summer. But I really do think it would be disruptive for DD. Changing nurseries a big deal and I’m very conflicted.

OP posts:
Rosti1981 · 18/04/2024 13:04

How about looking for a nanny/babysitter/childminder who could basically babysit for the odd ad-hoc day in the holidays? That might be a compromise so you can get some respite. Given the ages of your children it's a really tough stage- on the plus side it will get easier, either with more babysitting options or holiday clubs.

OrangeSlices998 · 18/04/2024 13:09

So DS is in a private nursery and your DD will go there too? And you have the choice of moving nurseries to a term time one - for the baby too?

Personally I would keep some childcare over the holidays, you deserve downtime too! Perhaps have them both in two days during the holidays rather than 3? So one day each so you get 1:1 time and a day they’re both in so you have a day alone?

Please don’t feel guilty, I promise you’re not alone!

NameChange30 · 18/04/2024 13:22

Yanbu at all and I'm surprised at the voting.

I suggest that you ask the nursery if you can have a year-round contract but reduce to 2 days a week instead of 3 during the holidays. You could have 1 day a week for yourself, when they're both in nursery, and then 1 day one-to-one with each child.

I use almost all my annual leave for holidays and childcare (my oldest is in school) but I do sometimes use annual leave or TOIL to take time off work when the children are in school/nursery, and it's a sanity saver.

Your needs matter too and if you can afford you should definitely allow yourself a break.

You could also change the contract to term time only at a later date but I would suggest waiting until after the summer! The 6 week holidays are the hardest, and the others are easy in comparison.

9mon · 18/04/2024 13:22

@OrangeSlices998 - it’s just a private day nursery but does offer term time only contracts which the other one doesn’t.

The problem is that I need to keep the place so if I reduced to two days I might not get three back if you see what I mean!

OP posts:
NameChange30 · 18/04/2024 13:23

OrangeSlices998 · 18/04/2024 13:09

So DS is in a private nursery and your DD will go there too? And you have the choice of moving nurseries to a term time one - for the baby too?

Personally I would keep some childcare over the holidays, you deserve downtime too! Perhaps have them both in two days during the holidays rather than 3? So one day each so you get 1:1 time and a day they’re both in so you have a day alone?

Please don’t feel guilty, I promise you’re not alone!

Oops, I just suggested this but you had beaten me to it. So, what you said Grin

GreenBanana445 · 18/04/2024 13:52

Do it; take the child free time! It’ll be so good for your sanity. I have one day a week off without my two kids at the moment (just returned from
mat leave) and I feel so guilty and try to hide the fact from everyone but it is so so wonderful and shouldn’t be anything to feel guilty about. I give you permission to breathe and have some space during holidays 😉

OrangeSlices998 · 18/04/2024 19:39

9mon · 18/04/2024 13:22

@OrangeSlices998 - it’s just a private day nursery but does offer term time only contracts which the other one doesn’t.

The problem is that I need to keep the place so if I reduced to two days I might not get three back if you see what I mean!

I guess I’d enquire about how busy places are in the holidays, and see if you could book them in now? The other option is you keep them in 3 days and have some time for you in the holidays!

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