Smelly man

[WhatAreYouOnAbout]

Any idea how to deal with a very smelly person at work, who reports to my boss, I told my boss but she said she can’t do anything about it unless someone writes to her or is happy to be named as the one who noticed. Wtaf. What to say before I conk it! I’m going to have to deal with it myself as don’t want her saying that I was telling tales.

Is it body odour or stinky breath..or both?

I don’t think it’s either. I’m not sure what it is but it’s bad and fills the room

Could be unwashed clothes.

Do you have the kind of relationship where you could say "is everything OK?" and go from there...

If it's not a new problem then it's more tricky and I'd leave a note for them to see at the end of the working week about how they might need to change their deodorant or washing powder because it was overpowering. I'd hate to shame someone by saying directly you stink.

Could it be like a damp clothes smell if not bo or bad breath?

When I was younger I worked with a man who absolutely stunk of bo and constantly chewed the yellow wrigleys chewing gum 🤮🤢 was bloody awful.

I wonder if your colleague is trying to save money by just hanging clothes for drying without heating, or a dehumidifier, that or washing his clothes less. The cost of living crisis is especially tough for some people.

I once decided to be very ‘mature about it’ when a colleague I was friendly with, but had terrible BO asked if she could try my (dry clean only) suit jacket on and had it on her before I could think let alone reply. I braced myself and told her about the BO as gently as I could. I was horrified when she, looking very upset, explained that she had a health problem with perspiration, had tried everything and had thought she had got on top of it with a prescription antiperspirant deodorant and three showers a day. I felt awful! Looking back though, I think I did her a favour. Since she knew that wasn’t enough, at least she could see her GP again with a view to other treatments.

I would agonise over this situation too, but for one thing…IME, men are less freaked out by smelling than women are. They almost seem to see it as proof of their manliness, or something. And if you raise it in a neutral, face saving way that can go a long way to reduce the shame. I think a lot of people genuinely don’t have a good sense of smell and need pointers.

However also don’t see why it would be ‘telling tales’ to raise it formally with your boss?

I would be completely open and honest with him in a sensitive way.
I wouldn't want to be anonymous, as I would be more hurt myself if I didn't know who had questioned it.

I would just ask for a quiet word, and say something like.
"I just wanted to ask if you are okay as I have noticed an unusual smell".
Of course he might take offence, but I know that if it was me who smelt, I would want someone to be upfront and have a quiet word with me (face to face, no talking behind backs etc). Yes, I would be hurt and embarrassed, but I would also be thankful to that person for being honest with me.
The chances are he is completely unaware that he smells.

Does he look unclean?

Can you speak to HR?

I don't think I could tell him myself. But he genuinely might not realise

This should be an HR matter as it is impacting on the work environment.

Your boss is talking nonsense by the way...she does not need to name the person who complain and it is her job to deal with this type of issues.