Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want DH to listen to me and do things properly?

47 replies

ByBlueGoose · 17/04/2024 21:12

Like this morning when we were checking out of a hotel, I wanted to just give the key cards back to reception like you are supposed to but DH kept insisting that he wants to keep them like he always does. I don't understand why he can't just do things properly like everyone else does, like everyone else just gives the key cards back like you are supposed to. I don't even understand why he wants to keep the key cards anyway in the first place. It is always his way or the highway. He never listens to anyone else or their opinions, everything has to be done his way otherwise he kicks off at me. This is just one example, I could give many more, I'm getting fed up of it everyday and it is everyday. If I do or say something that he doesn't like or doesn't want to do then he just kicks off at me. He even tries to control how I parent my DD, she is not his daughter. He just takes over everything and everything has to be the way that he wants it or I get shouted at. Aibu to want DH to listen to me and do things properly?

OP posts:
ByBlueGoose · 17/04/2024 21:15

I can't stand him anymore. The way he tries to tell me how to parent my daughter is what gets to me the most.

OP posts:
GalileoHumpkins · 17/04/2024 21:16

It sounds like you both want things to be your way or no way. If my husband kept telling me I wasn't doing things properly I'd lose my temper.
You seem incompatible really.

Rachie1973 · 17/04/2024 21:18

You both sound determined to have your own way.

i have to admit though if my partner kept telling me how to do it properly I’d get pretty pissed off too.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/04/2024 21:18

Why are you allowing your daughter to be raised in a toxic environment like this? I suggest you start putting her first.

ByBlueGoose · 17/04/2024 21:18

Another example is when I tell DD she's had enough treats for today and then DH tells me he thinks she hasn't and gives her loads more. That's another example.

OP posts:
Pocketfullofdogtreats · 17/04/2024 21:19

Why on earth does he want to keep the key cards? They will just clutter up the house and he'll forget where he got them anyway. I hoard all sorts of bits of paper (boarding passes etc) but I don't understand this

itsjustbiology · 17/04/2024 21:20

And yet you are still together playing this charade of a loving marriage.

GalileoHumpkins · 17/04/2024 21:23

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 17/04/2024 21:19

Why on earth does he want to keep the key cards? They will just clutter up the house and he'll forget where he got them anyway. I hoard all sorts of bits of paper (boarding passes etc) but I don't understand this

How will key cards clutter up the house anymore than random bits of paper, how big do you think they are?
Maybe he's a scrapbooker!!

ByBlueGoose · 17/04/2024 21:24

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 17/04/2024 21:19

Why on earth does he want to keep the key cards? They will just clutter up the house and he'll forget where he got them anyway. I hoard all sorts of bits of paper (boarding passes etc) but I don't understand this

I have no idea why he wants to keep them, this is why it annoyed me so much

OP posts:
PerfectTravelTote · 17/04/2024 21:36

I voted yabu because you're unreasonable to think he's going to listen to you and change. He is what he is.

Yanbu, however, if you decide not to live with this behaviour anymore.

allfurcoatnoknickers · 17/04/2024 21:37

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 17/04/2024 21:19

Why on earth does he want to keep the key cards? They will just clutter up the house and he'll forget where he got them anyway. I hoard all sorts of bits of paper (boarding passes etc) but I don't understand this

I keep the key cards from posh hotels Blush. They're a little memento from a fun or memorable trip. I don't think it's that weird...

ltappleby · 17/04/2024 21:37

I think you need to leave. The key card issue is annoying me just reading about it!

toomuchfaff · 17/04/2024 21:39

why are you letting your partner parent your child?

LifeExperience · 17/04/2024 21:47

"He even tries to control how I parent my DD, she is not his daughter."

THAT is where you need to draw the line. He does not get to countermand your parenting. Woman up and get rid. Why are letting him do that to your child?

Italianita · 17/04/2024 21:48

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

cestlavielife · 17/04/2024 21:50

It does not matter about hotel keys

The other stuff maybe

Churchview · 17/04/2024 21:51

I can't stand him anymore.

It sounds like everything else is a symptom of this.

kaben · 17/04/2024 21:55

Rachie1973 · 17/04/2024 21:18

You both sound determined to have your own way.

i have to admit though if my partner kept telling me how to do it properly I’d get pretty pissed off too.

I'm not sure the OP wants it her own way - she wants things the proper way. Nicking key cards is plain stupid. He can't use them for anything and the hotel then have to replace them, which costs them and the environment. I'd find this highly unattractive and really stupid.

PhoenixReincarnated · 17/04/2024 21:55

Do your daughter a favour and get rid of him.

cheeseandketchupsandwich · 17/04/2024 22:06

@ByBlueGoose

"I can't stand him anymore."

Your words.

Enough said, no?

PonyPatter44 · 17/04/2024 22:10

It's not about key cards, is it? It's about him undermining you, having a go at you and making your life unpleasant. Why do you want to stay with him, and what does he bring to your life? What is stopping you leaving?

ShadesofPoachedSmoke · 17/04/2024 22:16

He just takes over everything and everything has to be the way that he wants it or I get shouted at.

Controlling, heading rapidly towards abusive. Shouting at you on a regular basis is NOT acceptable.

I'd dump him before it gets any worse. Truly. Your daughter is learning the model for her future relationships from you two - do you want her to be shouted at, ignored, undermined every day?

SherrieElmer · 17/04/2024 22:38

He may want to keep the cards as mementos. Weird, but I have seen worse.

TiptoeTess · 17/04/2024 22:41

allfurcoatnoknickers · 17/04/2024 21:37

I keep the key cards from posh hotels Blush. They're a little memento from a fun or memorable trip. I don't think it's that weird...

I’ve never heard of anyone doing this before; it’s pretty weird to me!

Charlingspont · 17/04/2024 22:44

SherrieElmer · 17/04/2024 22:38

He may want to keep the cards as mementos. Weird, but I have seen worse.

I agree, I think it's weird too.

But more unpleasant is his demand avoidance, and always having to oppose whatever you say. Exhausting and boring for you.

Get rid of him.