Feeling let down

[Mcxb]

I have 2 young children, 8 & 3 and have been out of work for 2+ years. Just before Christmas I found a job that I loved the sound of, the only downfall - the hours. (Long days, nights, sleeps, weekends, 40+ hours per week)

I spoke to my mum about it and she encouraged me to go for it, told me she will help out with childcare.

The job would have put me through all my training and pay for me to get my qualifications, so it was a really good opportunity in something I love doing.

I started just before Christmas and absolutely love it, I've picked it up really well and have received lots of praise. Then 2 weeks ago my mum decided she is moving 2 hours away to move in with new partner.

She assured me she will still help with childcare (alongside her own job) which I thought was unrealistic but she promised etc so I believed her.

Anyway, fast forward to now and it's obviously not working and I have had to quit my job with immediate effect. I am gutted.

I feel selfish for being mad at my mum, she has her own life but she was the one who persuaded me to for the job in the first place which frustrates me more.

Do you think I have a right to be annoyed?

Yanbu. She knew how much her help would enable you to take on this job. And she promised. Pretty awful of her to do this to you. Is there no childminder that could be the solution ?

That all sounds crazily sudden — she first told you a fortnight ago, and she’s already moved away? What about her own job? What about your children’s father? Is he not able to do childcare?

I think it's fair enough to be a bit annoyed, but as you say your mum does have her own life and circumstances change. It seems hasty to have given the job up, are there no other childcare options that might work for you?

YANBU. Your mother promised to help and you took the job on that basis. It is unfair of her to change circumstances on you so suddenly. Grandparents and childcare comes up a lot here and it seems to be the only time adults are not expected to keep to agreements made. Just because they have their own life and 'don't owe you childcare' doesn't mean it isn't unfair when they change plans suddenly and leave you in the lurch. You are right to feel upset.

What other childcare options have you looked into? Where is kids’ father?

The children's dad works nights and earns a lot more than me so didn't make sense for him to give up his job instead.

I looked into alternative childcare options but very pricey and still wouldn't have helped with the late/night shifts.

It is what it is I suppose, thank you for the replies x