I'm not well ATM and stuck at home. I asked ex-H If he could pick up some groceries on the way back from picking DD up from school. He kindly agreed.
It wasn't a long list:
Apples
Brioche rolls
Yogurts (let DD choose)
Eggs
Sausages
4 pouches of sweets (for DS's birthday)
I'm not exaggerating when I say I had 5 phone me calls about the items during the shopping trip. Exactly what to get? Where in the supermarket to get? Was DD's yogurt choice ok? Can DD get a drink?
There was one item he didn't ask about. The sausages. He chose some and DD told him she didn't like those kind (type of vegetarian sausages) and he told her oh don't worry you can have something different!! I don't have anything different because I can't go shopping!!
I didn't specify a particular brand as wasn't sure exactly what this supermarket has and thought he would be guided by 12 yo DD. I wrote in the message with the list that DD will know what to get. Every time he phoned me I reiterated he could just ask DD!
I don't know if it's just he's so unused to shopping for a family now...but honestly he had one decision to make!!
AIBU?
To think he had one job....
WatermelonWaveclub · 17/04/2024 18:50
Am I being unreasonable?
82 votes. Final results.
POLLmisszebra · 17/04/2024 18:52
at least hes trying. much more than many exes would do. and I'm sure you'd rather he asked rather than buying the complete wrong thing.
BettyShagter · 17/04/2024 18:54
Why on earth didn't you ask your DD to get the list?
I thought you were going to say she was 5 or 6 or something.
She would've been my first choice considering some/most of the items will be for her.
MassiveOvaryaction · 17/04/2024 18:58
I'd have sent the list to the 12yo.
Was he controlling in your relationship? Were you?
Namerchanger1 · 17/04/2024 18:58
Ask your ex to do a favour
he does it
you gripe and moan
hmmmm
nadine90 · 17/04/2024 19:05
Well you already ltb so not sure what you can do 🤷♀️
It’s not easy shopping for people you don’t live with. I don’t think it’s necessarily that he can’t shop for a family, more he isn’t used to shopping for your household anymore.
I remember shopping for my Dad in the dark days of Covid lockdown and I was phoning him every 2 mins x
Namerchanger1 · 17/04/2024 18:58
Ask your ex to do a favour
he does it
you gripe and moan
hmmmm
RedHelenB · 17/04/2024 19:10
Sounds like you're the xi trolling one in the relationship if be has to ask your permission to buy his own daughter a drink
neilyoungismyhero · 17/04/2024 19:16
A favour? It was food shopping...the man's an idiot.
Namerchanger1 · 17/04/2024 18:58
Ask your ex to do a favour
he does it
you gripe and moan
hmmmm
Bjorkdidit · 17/04/2024 19:21
Sounds like he needs to keep trying until he can do it to a reasonable standard.
How on earth does someone get as far as being a parent of a school age child without being able to do a basic grocery shop?
MumChp · 17/04/2024 18:51
He tried.
misszebra · 17/04/2024 18:52
at least hes trying. much more than many exes would do. and I'm sure you'd rather he asked rather than buying the complete wrong thing.
AGodawfulsmallaffair · 17/04/2024 19:22
He wasn’t doing a favour, he was shopping for ( and with ) his daughter because her mum was sick.
It was a very simple and short list.
I can’t understand all the posts saying @WatermelonWaveclub should be grateful ( what the fuck for? He was hopeless. ) or should have sent the list to your child. You asked him, as the adult.
This adult man can’t choose yoghurts or sausages?
Give me strength.
AGodawfulsmallaffair · 17/04/2024 19:24
Yeah, he’s very trying.
misszebra · 17/04/2024 18:52
at least hes trying. much more than many exes would do. and I'm sure you'd rather he asked rather than buying the complete wrong thing.
WatermelonWaveclub · 17/04/2024 19:12
She doesn't have her phone on her.
He was controlling at one point due to mental illness. But outside of that no and I don't believe I was controlling, no.
MassiveOvaryaction · 17/04/2024 18:58
I'd have sent the list to the 12yo.
Was he controlling in your relationship? Were you?
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MassiveOvaryaction · 17/04/2024 19:32
Fair. Dc always have/had their phones on them from starting secondary so that's why I assumed you could send to her.
The controlling thing - he's asking about every little thing because either (a) he's scared of getting things wrong and risking your wrath or (b) he doesn't trust you to know your own choices. That's my thoughts anyway.
Turns out he pissed you off by asking.
WatermelonWaveclub · 17/04/2024 19:12
She doesn't have her phone on her.
He was controlling at one point due to mental illness. But outside of that no and I don't believe I was controlling, no.
MassiveOvaryaction · 17/04/2024 18:58
I'd have sent the list to the 12yo.
Was he controlling in your relationship? Were you?
neilyoungismyhero · 17/04/2024 19:16
A favour? It was food shopping...the man's an idiot.
Namerchanger1 · 17/04/2024 18:58
Ask your ex to do a favour
he does it
you gripe and moan
hmmmm
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