To think he had one job....

[WatermelonWaveclub]

I'm not well ATM and stuck at home. I asked ex-H If he could pick up some groceries on the way back from picking DD up from school. He kindly agreed.

It wasn't a long list:
Apples
Brioche rolls
Yogurts (let DD choose)
Eggs
Sausages
4 pouches of sweets (for DS's birthday)

I'm not exaggerating when I say I had 5 phone me calls about the items during the shopping trip. Exactly what to get? Where in the supermarket to get? Was DD's yogurt choice ok? Can DD get a drink?

There was one item he didn't ask about. The sausages. He chose some and DD told him she didn't like those kind (type of vegetarian sausages) and he told her oh don't worry you can have something different!! I don't have anything different because I can't go shopping!!

I didn't specify a particular brand as wasn't sure exactly what this supermarket has and thought he would be guided by 12 yo DD. I wrote in the message with the list that DD will know what to get. Every time he phoned me I reiterated he could just ask DD!

I don't know if it's just he's so unused to shopping for a family now...but honestly he had one decision to make!!

He tried.

at least hes trying. much more than many exes would do. and I'm sure you'd rather he asked rather than buying the complete wrong thing.

Why on earth didn't you ask your DD to get the list?

I thought you were going to say she was 5 or 6 or something.

She would've been my first choice considering some/most of the items will be for her.

I'd have sent the list to the 12yo.

Was he controlling in your relationship? Were you?

Ask your ex to do a favour
he does it
you gripe and moan

hmmmm

Well you already ltb so not sure what you can do 🤷‍♀️
It’s not easy shopping for people you don’t live with. I don’t think it’s necessarily that he can’t shop for a family, more he isn’t used to shopping for your household anymore.
I remember shopping for my Dad in the dark days of Covid lockdown and I was phoning him every 2 mins x

That's true. I just wanted him to ask DD not me as using my brain is a bit difficult atm.

Sounds like you're the xi trolling one in the relationship if be has to ask your permission to buy his own daughter a drink

Well I sent the list to ex-H as she won't have her phone on her. She was with him at the shop so they were getting the things together. She wouldn't have been able to do it completely alone and made sense to do it on the way back from school.

She doesn't have her phone on her.

He was controlling at one point due to mental illness. But outside of that no and I don't believe I was controlling, no.

I said nothing to him except thank you!

But I'm really unwell and need to rest and he kept phoning me. He could have asked our DD any of his questions. And she specifically told him she didn't like those sausages.

However, I'm clearly expected too much, fair enough.

That's true! 😂

And fair enough...it's just DD was there - he has no need to phone me!

A favour? It was food shopping...the man's an idiot.

That's the whole point!! Of course he doesn't have to ask me! Just buy her a drink yourself. Or just buy her a drink out of my money - I don't care! He phoned to ask if he could get her a drink I just said 'of course!'

I mean, yeah and it was food for his own children.

Sounds like he needs to keep trying until he can do it to a reasonable standard.

How on earth does someone get as far as being a parent of a school age child without being able to do a basic grocery shop?

He wasn’t doing a favour, he was shopping for ( and with ) his daughter because her mum was sick.
It was a very simple and short list.
I can’t understand all the posts saying @WatermelonWaveclub should be grateful ( what the fuck for? He was hopeless. ) or should have sent the list to your child. You asked him, as the adult.
This adult man can’t choose yoghurts or sausages?
Give me strength.

He used to shop for the family when we were together. We've been split up 7 years now and he pretty much just lives on ready meals. I think he's forgotten how to shop. And he has a bit of a lack of common sense.

I do appreciate that he will do things like this for me. I know many exes would not. But it's a bit of give and take with us.

Yeah, he’s very trying.

Clearly not!

Very! 😂

Fair. Dc always have/had their phones on them from starting secondary so that's why I assumed you could send to her.

The controlling thing - he's asking about every little thing because either (a) he's scared of getting things wrong and risking your wrath or (b) he doesn't trust you to know your own choices. That's my thoughts anyway.

Turns out he pissed you off by asking.

Ah, yes she gets taken to and picked up from school so doesn't need her phone but yeah, once she starts travelling alone she will have it.

I see what you mean about the controlling thing. Fortunately, I don't think either are the case.

Bizarre responses on here! I mean, other than the fact I can't imagine my ex agreeing to this so it's nice that he is, but FFS...a simple short list should not be beyond NT adult to sort out, especially witb the guidance of the 12 yo who lives at the house he's shopping for. Helpless, hapless man 🙄

How is it not a favour 🤗