Why do people get more anxious as they get older?

[NoisySnail]

I know this does not apply to every single individual, but in general people do seem to get more anxious as they get older. And I wondered why? Is it simply a natural thing to happen as you become aware that your body is deteriorating and that simple things such as falling over could have a serious consequence? Or are there other reasons?
Interested to hear anyone's thoughts on this.

[SittingBackAndWatchingTheClowns]

It depends on a person's health, I think. I'm 66, and up until 2 years ago I worked, did a lot of exercise every week, was active and confident - then I became seriously ill, was in hospital for 2 months, had to learn to walk again. Now, I shuffle, am scared of falling over, and terrified of ever ending up in hospital again. I also know women 20 years older than me who still drive, swim and hike.

[5128gap]

I think if you're a self aware older person, like my MIL, a lot of anxiety is rooted in the knowledge that many people are going to find some of the things you do and can't help, like walking slowly, not always hearing what's said to you, irritating. MiL gets terribly anxious about this and avoids things where she might cause inconvenience, public transport because 'I take ages getting on and it's not fair on folks' ordering meals 'I don't want the poor woman to keep repeating herself'. Also, very anxious about being a nuisance to doctors, shop staff and so on or generally not knowing whats she's supposed to be doing.

[Enigma52]

For me, menopause, hysterectomy, no hormones and secondary breast cancer has tipped me into a pit of shite anxiety! I'm 52.

[vincettenoir]

I don't know but I have wondered this myself. I also wonder how much there is an inevitability to it. Does it happen to everyone as they age? Or is it that people who are already anxious get increasingly anxious after they retire because they feel more vulnerable and out of touch.

[SevenSeasOfRhye]

Bitter experience in my case.

[menopausalmare]

My mum was always "everyone else can be ill, I've no time to be ill". However, since my dad had numerous health issues and eventually died, she now arranges her many tablets and drugs in alphabetical order.

[PurpleBugz]

Reality sets in?

[Sandwichblock]

My Dad has got much more anxious as he's got older. I think it comes from not being as fit and capable as he once was. He used to be able to fix most situations, now he's not confident that he can.

[Posithor]

I'm only 38 and my anxiety post kids is ridiculous. As an example I've gone from racing cars to being scared to drive down my childminders narrow street.
I think it's the more shit experiences you have and more horrible stuff you're exposed to the more you worry.
I'm very literally turning into my anxiety ridden mother and grandmother before my own eyes.

[Posithor]

Actually it's worse. I'm only 37 😂

[Sandwichblock]

@menopausalmare

My mum was always "everyone else can be ill, I've no time to be ill". However, since my dad had numerous health issues and eventually died, she now arranges her many tablets and drugs in alphabetical order.

I've become much more anxious about my health since DH died. I really feel the pressure of being all my (adult) DC have and also much more aware of what can go wrong for people of my age and how terrible illness and death can be.

[Windmill34]

Off the scale anxiety starting menopause which hasn’t left me !

[TheSnowyOwl]

I agree that it’s reality of what can and does happen, but also the anxiety feeds itself in a way so people become more anxious.

[TreesWelliesKnees]

Some of it is probably death anxiety. Also I think people become more aware of how vulnerable they and their loved ones are. And they're ground down a bit by the stresses of life over the years, as well as aware of their brain slowing down a bit and how much that contrasts with the busy, fast world around them. Add in possible layers of unprocessed events/traumas/losses. Plus loss of hormones, health worries...

[takemeawayagain]

I think the older you get the more aware you become of all the things that can go wrong.

[Mochaccino99]

Agree with reality and experience. As you get older you get more experience of bad things happening around you, and they go from being things that happen to other people to things that could happen to me. Eg parents and their friends getting old/ill/dying, then your own friends getting cancer or other illnesses/accidents, maybe you/your DP getting an illness etc. You know people who lose their jobs, struggle with money, addiction, mental health issues and realise that these could all happen to you.
Feel anxious just typing this!

[EveryoneJapan]

I think it depends on the person. Some of my older relatives have been very anxious. Others the opposite. I stopped giving a shit about most things when I turned 40, including what people think of me.

[Blanketpolicy]

Menopause
More aware of what can go wrong
Don't feel as strong/invincible
Protective/worry more about the impact of bad decisions on their children

[VeryQuaintIrene]

@takemeawayagain

I think the older you get the more aware you become of all the things that can go wrong.

I think that's exactly it! When I was in my teens and twenties I did some idiotic things because I never imagined that there could be bad consequences to them. When you are older you have seen way more and experienced way more and have a broader view of what can go wrong.

[taxguru]

It's life experience. The longer you live, the more exposure you have to all the things that can go wrong, whether it's health, finances, relationships, etc. Even if you don't personally suffer, you'll know more and more people who have suffered.

Young people generally don't see it as much as their life experiences are much more limited and they think they're invincible!

I know our son (22) thinks we're paranoid as we're constantly warning him about things, telling him to have a Plan B when travelling whether it's an alternative route or mode of transport, or an extra debit/credit card or cash in a different pocket, or whatever. Funny how he doesn't mock us when he does experience something going wrong but he's prepared for it!!

[Vroomfondleswaistcoat]

I'm 63 and it's happening to me.

I'm anxious about driving to places I don't know well, I worry about where I will park and how I will get there. I think it's because my brain is aware that my reaction times are slowing down and my ability to judge spaces and speeds are starting to lag.

I am currently very fit and run a lot, but I worry about what will happen if I fall and injure myself - I live alone with my dog - who would look after her if I was incapacitated? Where would the money come from if I couldn't work (SSP wouldn't pay the bills, and I write books which I couldn't do with, say, a broken arm and I'd miss deadlines).

So I think a lot of it is becoming aware of just how many things could go wrong, and what the implications of these might be. If I become unwell or lose fitness I may never get back to my current state of health or wellness. My faculties are beginning to drop off and that's only going to get worse. I have nobody to look after me if I am bed bound at home. It's things like that.

[NoisySnail]

@EveryoneJapan

I think it depends on the person. Some of my older relatives have been very anxious. Others the opposite. I stopped giving a shit about most things when I turned 40, including what people think of me.

I think caring what people think about you or superficial worries often do reduce.
I posted this as I am aware that I no longer give a shit about a lot of superficial stuff I see people worrying about. But I am more anxious about the possibility of people dying or becoming seriously ill or in accidents. Perhaps it is just that these things have already happened, so they move from a theoretical threat to a real threat.

[chipsandpeas]

perimenopause has made me more anxious and occasionally panic attacks

[NoisySnail]

When I was younger I always thought my worries would resolve themselves. This too will pass. Even big things like rape, you learn to cope and get on with it.
But now things are happening to me that will never resolve themselves, Life feels more a series of losses than gains.