Stuck between being sad and single and can't be arsed to date

[crochetmonkey74]

Exactly that really.
I have days where I feel sad to be on my own then most of the time, cannot be bothered to date yet another OLD match.
I've got a date tonight with a perfectly nice bloke, not sure if I like him enough to carry on, should I just know or do things sometimes grow?
I'm so sick of thinking what is best to do! Anyone relate?

I understand!

I quite want the excitement of going on dates, but at the same time can’t be arsed to.

I would have related about 5 years ago.
But I came down on the side of giving the whole shit show up.
I am very happy alone and I was never bothered with getting moist in the knickers or sheets with someone.

As for your date, I had a rule, if I wasn't excited to go, I wouldn't go.

That sounds like a good rule.

Things can grow, but can take time especially when you are a bit apathetic to dating to begin with. I find having a number in your head - make a call after e.g. 3 dates, makes it easier. Stops you wondering further down the line if you should have given it another chance.

The only thing I would say is that pretty much every decent, long term relationship I know didn’t start out as exciting (including my own). The exciting, lust ones never seem to last.

Do you want marriage and kids?

3rd date tonight so I think this is a good rule!
I can never tell after one date (unless it's really awful) as I have good social skills and can chat away with pretty much anyone, and I try not to make snap judgements but equally I'd love the "fizz" of excitement

Oops should have said, I'm 47 . I'd like marriage to be in my future at some point

You could just forget about dating and set out to live a full, fun and sociable life - if in the process you meet someone then great, if not you'll still have a great time.

This is exactly why I'm a bit unsure . I know a solid relationship starts sliw often , so I don't want to rule it out, I guess it's more if I'm ready in myself to date

I hear you. I don’t have the time or energy to whittle down the dickheads to a tiny pool of dateable guys, then I meet them and don’t fancy them. I’ve given up tbh. And I think I’ve made my peace with it.
Even the nice normal guys are high maintenance in many ways. Middle aged men seem so needy.

That’s sort of what I do but in practice I never meet anyone I remotely fancy. I also think I might give off quite “fuck off” vibes.

I think hand on heart, I'd like to give it a rest, but I keep thinking it's the only way really to meet someone these days