Argument with MiL

[Remo22]

So DC has been having allergies/cold symptoms
I was not feeling very confident about being sharp on giving him his vaccines today

So i called and rescheduled for next timing which is 4 days away from today

Mistakingly i told my MIL aboubtye vaccines a week ago
So she asked today
I told her i postponed

She kept telling me

Why did you delay it? This is wrong don't delay it

Why did you do so
Why won't you give it to him

And she was so strict about it and her tone was not friendly

I replied that I didn't say it won't give it to him i said i will and i understand very well why vaccines are important

Ps. I am a doctor my self

I parent alone since Dh is working abroad

I delayed it because i didn't feel okay with making him take it when he may be having a cold

What do you think?
Aibu that it made me angry

I don't like being mentored when i didn't ask
She keeps forgetting that i am an Md and understand
Always underestimating my knowledge

My grandma thinks am at fault and should have not replied to her

You're true mum and know your child best. You're a doctor on top of that. I'd do the same - wouldn't let my kid have the vaccine when unwell. You don't have to justify yourself to them. Really.

You're the* mum

I thought most medical advice was not to have it if you’re unwell, but to have it as soon as you can after you’ve recovered. So in addition to being a doctor you’re also following the guidance. Weird that she can’t see that and it’s only four days away.

The medical advice I'm sure is to wait till the child is well anyway when they have their shots and my understanding is you only delayed these for 4 days not 4 months.. 4 days. Are you telling me she was arguing with you over 4 days?? Very odd. Also you're the parent in charge not her. If this is how she behaves op do not tell her anything next time , she needs to save her nasty tone for her own child not you!!! I agree with your grandma but not to say you're unreasonable.. you was just replying to a message but learn from this and don't reply to her next time.

I’d have asked her which one of us is a doctor?

Im a firm believer in vaccines but I also accepted HV advice to delay MMR for a few weeks when DS21 had a really bad spell of illnesses when he started nursery, basically 8-12 months and put little weight on. I thought it was sensible advice to just give him 3-4 extra weeks in the spring/early summer to build his strength.

They wouldn't let my child have it with a cold so they might have turned you away anyway

dear Mil I’m the mum snd if you’ve forgotten also a gp so I’ll do it when I feel it’s right.

take out the gp bit when irrelevant, rinse and repeat

I suspect a cultural aspect to this post.
You did the right thing regarding the vaccine.
As for the situation you and your support group (mother sister brother) will help you through MIL challenges.

@CurlsnSunshinetime4tea yes thats correct,,
Yet i have always tried to keep things nice and smooth and deal with any other issues with DH and mom

I should try and keep her out of these details

@Lollypop701 I love that ❤️😂
I think if i tell her the same sentence unrinsed she would tell dh and make a huge deal out of it 😂😂
Will do thanks for the advice

Yes, I think this is standard medical advice. Which makes the OP being so unsure of herself doubly puzzling.

@neverendingcold i thought about the same thing !

@Maray1967 am Glad he's better now 🤍
Yes i have asked his pediatrician and she said the same thing
Does not matter to delay it for a few days

Did you tell her your child had a cold? If not she might think your an antivaxxer maybe

@Time4achangeithink i absolutely agree with you
I know i was wrong for talking too much, I'll either be silent or speak about cooking when i meet her 😂

Exactly! 4 days , she likes to tell people what to do 😡

@rainbowcorn
@Arlanymor
thank you so much
I absolutely agree with both of you

She does know that @wellington77 😢
Plus i gave him all previous doses

@PollySolo i am not doubting it, i know that it would be too much for his immune system, yet the post is mainly to rant about my MiL words and wether it's truly annoying what she said or not

You are the parent, with parental responsibility. You are the one with years of medical training.

The opinions of anyone except the child's father are completely irrelevant .

What your MIL thinks doesn't matter. Ignore her

Unfortunately vaccinations have become so politicised that some stupid people feel they need to be evangelical about them, even when they clearly don't know what they're talking about.

You probably cant change her mind so just ignore.

Grandma needs to be reminded that you’re a qualified doctor and that irrespective of this DS is YOUR child not hers. She’s had her opportunity to bring up her children that way she likes so I’d be firmly telling her to mind her own business because her interfering is not welcome.

You were right to wait. I was persuaded to let my DS have a vaccine when he had a cold as 'he doesn't have a temperature' and he subsequently got shingles.

Many years ago, I had a flu jab whilst I was run down.

A few weeks later, a consultant held my chest x-ray where I could a clear 'blob' showed up on one of my lungs.

He told his colleagues " she's pneumonic".

It has never happened since because I have been careful to only have vaccines when I have been in good health.

Oh, fuck me. She's waaaaaay too involved.

I wouldn't explain myself to her. Most normal people, upon hearing the kid didn't have the vaccines, would have said "oh, ok. So what did you think about last night's TV?"

Unless she birthed the kid, she can FO.

You are so much nicer than me. I would have told her it's only 4 days and anyway I am the professional here. Wouldn't take any shit from her.