to be a bit pissed off at dp just giving me a card with some money for my birthday???

[totalmisfit]

maybe i am unreasonable. i know it was thoughtful to put some money aside so i could get some clothes etc... but i just miss having something to unwrap.

and it is our money, so putting it in a card was a bit unnecessary. i'm not his daughter.

so i'm being an ungrateful cow arent i?

I'm agreeing with scottishmummy

The last set of birthdays we've had were the 1st ones that I've been a SAHM and money has been a bit tighter so we've both had to forgo the lovely presents we ususally get each other.

And it forced us to both be a lot more thoughtful about what we could do for the other rather than what we could buy

Kind of agree with scottishmummy and BuckBuckMcFate* - DH and I have never been all that big on presents, and after reading some tales on here I'm inclined to think he's a gift in himself (no, not being soppy, just the fact that he's a good involved father, doesn't treat me like an idiot, would cut his leg off before hitting me and his own HEAD off before hitting DD ...)

However, that works because it's the way we've always been, and it's mutual. If YOU do beautiful, thoughtful gifts, and he does cash-in-a-card, or he used to do beautiful, thoughtful and now does the cash thing - I can see how that would rankle.

• good name ... we could have Dr Seuss week and all have topical name changes, I could be DontCallMeDave ...

If I were you I would let it go this time but why don't you suggest to your DH that in future for xmas and bdays you both write a wish list for the other person to choose from.

Or you could just give the money back to him on his birthday, see how he likes it.

Some good points made here. It is down to what you expect, and what you do for him. If you buy him a carefully thought out present and he gives you back cash, then its rubbish. Equally, giving a great present, and being an arse a rest of the time is not on.

Personally, as I've said, I can't see the point of cash....its all ours anyway isn't it? Taking some time to think of a suitable gift is what makes it important...and if you are skint, and that gift is homemade/an 'IOU', then so be it.

Lastly, just because a man helps round the house and looks after the kids doesn't mean he shouldn't buy a you a present. I expect DH to be able to help around the house, look after dd AND buy me a christmas/birthday present..and I will do the same for him.

(DontCallMeBaby

I wanted HarrisTweed but already gone)