Need some directions

[Kneepainchica]

Writing in aibu for traffic.

I am 46, out of work for a long time due to family commitments, attempts of starting business, moving countries with dh and now health issues for last few years.

Don't have any kids, so don't even have a judtied reason. Family lives far and are not that supportive, on a rare occasions I talked about my problems, I get judgements and examples of orhers. There is childhood trauma, family dysfunctions.

I have been on anti depressant for a few years. My issues are that I have gained weight after starting med, and am having knee pain on regular basis, and have been told losing weight will help. I try to go on cycles of exercise and some kind of diet but then lose motivation. Life feels puposeless. I used to be very driven and performce oriented in my younger years.

Now for some time, I don't feel like getting up from the bed as I don't look forward to the day, but after a couple of hours, the guilt kicks in and I finally force myself to get up. I feel guilty about it, and feel depressed. I do have some other health issues which make me feel physically exhausted. I just feel incapable of changing this cycle. But I know I need to. Had anyone been in this situation? How did you break this cycle? I just feel very sad.

Not sure how helpful this is, but I would decide to take some steps so do one thing that means you (1) exercise (2) get outside (3) improve your diet and (4) try something different just because.

For exercise if you have the means swimming or hydrotherapy as non weight bearing activity will be best for your knee, cycling is also usually doable and has the benefit of being outside. Short frequent walks can be OK too.

Getting outside could mean anything so long as it is more than you do now.

Improve your diet by just cutting out a bad habit to start with or switching in a healthy meal and go from there.

Try doing something you haven't done before, it could be absolutely anything from making something to taking a photo of something that you haven't before and that leaves a positive impression on you, or reading something you normally wouldn't, or learn something new or do something social you normally wouldn't.

Thanks so much for your reply. Yes I have started eating healthier and exercing. Going out is something I find so hard when weather is cold and grey.

After much deliberation I got a dog. It changed my life for the positive in every way. I had been crippled with back pain and at one point didn't leave home for 6 months. When you have a puppy so many people speak to you, the exercise is graduate as when younger they shouldn't be walked to hard, you are constantly obliged to go out and face the world but if you look/feel shabby there is zero judgement. I honestly can't recommend enough.

Yes, getting a dog is good for mental and physical health. I cannot get dog at the moment due to our tenancy agreement.