House work

[TheZippyCyanHiker]

AITU for expecting my husband to do some house work?

My husband works full time and i work part time ( we both do the same job) As it’s shift work it is near impossible for me to work full time due to child care issues. We have the same argument time and time again, that he believes he shouldn’t have to do ANY house work as he works full time and i don’t. I do all the cooking and cleaning, food shopping, sorting out child care etc I agree i should do the majority but i think he should do some on his days off? Also he doesn’t do any DIY or gardening or any maintenance of the cars etc.

On a side note he also goes a way on motor biking weekends X3 times a year and a week abroad once a year. We put our wages together and pay all joint bills out of that and then split what’s left, so he does contribute more financially.

Work out the difference in the hours you work. You do that much housework (prioritise your stuff obviously). Then feet up. 😊

Getting approximately equal amounts of rest/recreation time seems fairest.

I mean it depends how part time you are because if you're working 10hrs a week I'd expect you to pick up the vast majority of housework, whereas if you work 30hrs there isn't so much difference between you.

As it's shift work I'd very much expect each of you to keep on top of having the place tidy when you're home.

So him working means he he doesn't clean up after himself? Or teach his children to look/clean up after themselves?

I've never understood why some men think that they go from doing 100% of the housework when you live alone to 0% when they live with a woman. And children, meaning there is 4 times as much mess.

If you have genuinely free time (no work, no children) work out who has how much and split the housework accordingly. His jollies count.

@TheZippyCyanHiker do you get three weekends and a week off each year too ?
Of course he should do some of the housework.

@TheZippyCyanHiker 'Also he doesn’t do any DIY or gardening or any maintenance of the cars etc.'
Do you have to do all this as well ?

Of course he should do housework , it's not the 1950's !

If you work 20 hours and he works 40 hours and the housework, cooking and childcare is 20 hours or less then it seems fair. If its any more than that and he has more downtime than you then he's selfish.

Top up your work hours with housework and split whatever jobs are left over.

None is a piss take
but depending how much more one is at home than the other the one at home should be doing the lion’s share