Long story short, the father of my unborn son broke up with me last June and he kept me on a string which I regrettably held on to (he is very narcissistic, by mine and his ex girlfriend's account, and I was very manipulated and fogged - details I won't go into).
This ended in me falling pregnant in September, which is when he fully discarded me. I decided to keep the baby which I felt was the right thing to do for me, and I have enough support around me to raise him right.
Baby dad was against the idea of me keeping him, and ultimately decided that he categorically did not want a child with me which is 'why he treats me the way he does', yet also states he will be there as a dad and will financially support him.
His base pay is around £45,000 p/a, and he earns a lot of commission on top. He took home £40,000 just in the month of January, and another £50,000 in the month of February this year. We discussed child support, and he suggested £450 pcm. Having looked at childcare costs, overheads etc and the fact I will be full time parent, I felt this was not enough. Childcare alone will be about £1000 pcm.
I negotiated £700 with him, and he called me a goldigger and it's not his job to support my lifestyle - I should have thought about this before 'getting pregnant'. He said that's ridiculous and not his duty to help just so I can go back to work.
Since then he has warned me that it may now be less than £700 because he may get demoted at any time, or even leave the company, and he has high overheads. However, we work together and I heard that he had bought a brand new Rolex. More than one colleague has confirmed to me that he bought it himself with his own money and it cost him around £20,000 +.
He doesn't seem to have it on show like he used to with his old one, and wants to 'keep it on the low'. He also just got back from a luxury holiday in Dubai driving Ferraris. He is buying a whole house (in London) and is planning a trip to Bali. He drives a very expensive car, has an expensive breed of dog, wears everything designer and eats out everyday.
Last week he had his own baby shower (I cancelled the joint one due to how he was treating me), and he received money from his family to buy things for the baby. There are plenty of things still left to buy, which he has not asked about, nor has he bothered to get. So far, I have purchased every single thing myself, without any help from him, apart from the travel system which he did pay half for. I dare even ask him to contribute to what is left to buy. My wage is £35,000 p/a so I have needed a lot of help from family to provide everything.
He doesn't know, but I am going to file with CMS so I can get the maximum out of him, which will be a whole lot more than what he suggested. (I mentioned this previously and he threatened to fiddle books which he can't as he is employed).
He holds a baby shower (for a baby he didn't want), keeps the money for himself, has not contributed to his unborn son, spends his money wildly, and tries to make out that what I am asking for is unreasonable?
It's not even about the money anymore, it's the fact that he hasn't contributed and is clearly lying and hiding things from me to try and not pay as much. I don't understand how or why you would not want to share your wealth with your child? Or at least provide the minimum to ensure he can go to nursery and live comfortably if you are able to do that?
On a side note, he doesn't really ask much about our unborn son. When he does, he doesn't ask any further probing questions beyond 'how is he doing'.
Am I being unreasonable for being fucking pissed off?
Any advice for what the future may look like trying to 'co-parent' with this type of person? I can imagine, but has anyone actually got experience behind them?